Diamonds In The Rough And One Mans Trash...

     I am very thankful for all of the experiences I've had and my ability to "maximize" any situation I find myself in.  I possess the trait of being able to turn lemons into lemonade and can turn adversity into advantage.

     I learned from a very young age to "make do with what I've got," or go without.  It's because of this mentality that I am able to find joy in the little things in life like giving and/or receiving a kind word or smile from a stranger or finding treasures that other people would consider trash.  I am often amazed by what people will toss to the side, including material items but also other people.  I don't take anyone for granted, on any level, whether they be friend or foe, and I tell you I have made many pleasant discoveries because my mind is open to infinite possibilities.  I have met many interesting people and have benefited from developing relationships with them.  Had I been narrow-minded, or judged prematurely, I would have missed out on some of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had.

     So, I laugh to myself when people scoff at some of the things or people I find interesting.  On the other hand I'm thankful they don't like some of the same things as I do because that leaves more for me.  More power to Gary.  I'm tellin' you, I find more treasure from the things that the majority of people would toss to the side, that I will never stop seeing a "diamond" everywhere I look.  If y'all was smart, you would start paying attention to why I'm always positive even when going through drama.  It's a free gift but many won't receive it because they can't see past themselves!

Perspective

     Black history month is nearly over and as it passes I am inspired to share some observations I have made over the last few weeks.

     I was watching the movie The Freedom riders in my cultural diversity class and was reminded about why black people as a whole are so resilient.  Seeing them face extreme adversity, up to death, gives me strength and courage in the knowledge that I possess the same fortitude that they have.

Me and NBA Star Grant Hill

     I don't believe people who are not black understand the bond we share as blacks, through the pain and suffering of generations before us and through the thinly veiled hate that is still prevalent today.  I am often amazed by the comments of non-blacks about blacks.  I've had non-blacks basically tell me that I don't know my own people and that I am mistaken about interpretations of other black peoples actions.  That's absurd and presumptuous.  Let me put it this way, if I was speaking to a person of another race, let's say native, and that person was telling me about a situation he had been through with another native and how he perceived their interaction, it would be presumptuous of me to offer an uninformed opinion concerning them.  I don't know what natives have been through, I don't know how they think, and to assume that they think like me is ridiculous.  We, as people, have very different histories, though there are some similarities but not enough that I can assume I know what they are thinking or what they've been through.  This same logic applies to all races, so when I hear someone who is not black telling me what another black man means by their words and actions, I am left stupefied.  This has happened recently, and on several different occasions, and the non-black people that are voicing their opinions are genuinely secure in their position that they know what they are talking about.  I find this really disturbing and disrespectful.  If another person of a different race was to tell me something about their race, my first reaction wouldn't be to question their knowledge or sincerity and I wouldn't attempt to correct them with an opinion based upon my own experiences which have no bearing on what they are talking about.  There is a lot to be gained by listening to what someone is saying and not interjecting an opinion that is based on an outside experience.

     I believe the root of this issue is self-centered thinking.  If people actually took the time to listen to what another person is saying instead of waiting for that person to stop speaking so they can interject their opinion, people might actually learn something significant about the person they are talking to.  Unfortunately, I come across a lot of people who know a lot about nothing and know nothing about a lot of things.  I usually shake my head and walk away from the conversation thanking God he has given me the ability to listen and show an actual interest in my brothers and sisters without acting like I know everything.  The lesson today:  Really think before you speak.  If you take a second to think about your words, you may be able to contribute to a productive conversation!

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

From the desk of Gary Mason

     Had a discussion about tolerance and acceptance which I thought was interesting.  The conclusion of the conversation was that we are to choose to accept rather than tolerate because acceptance is an act of understanding, respecting and giving value to a person or situation.

     One of the examples used was that of a neighbor you may not like or have anything in common with and you choose to "tolerate" that situation/person because they live next to you.  In an ideal world, we are to accept everyone for who they are, giving respect to their ideals and beliefs and acknowledging they have value in the community.

     When I heard this I instantly thought of one of my neighbors that I've been "tolerating."  I don't foresee me ever accepting him for who and what he is because he is a contradiction as to how I carry myself now.  Let me explain.  My neighbor is a low level, sloppy, drug dealer.  The reason I say sloppy is because he doesn't handle his affairs properly.  I've had his customers come to my apartment looking for dope.  His customers are blatant about what they do.  His supplier is sloppy, often dropping off dope packages in broad daylight without concealing them.  All of this adds up to someone who is careless in a business where carelessness can get you killed.  Did I mention that he lives next door to me and I have children?  Have I tried to remedy this situation?  A little.  I told the landlord, who lives on property, about the situation.  He said he knows what is going on and would speak to this guy about it.  That quieted things for a couple of weeks but then it went back to business as usual.  Part of the problem with that particular situation is the landlord is friends with this dude and more than likely a customer of his too.  So what are my other options?  Call the police?  Not an option for a couple of reasons.  Number one, the police are ineffective and two, I don't snitch.  I could move, which is what I plan on doing after my youngest son completes third grade, three years from now.  So I have opted to "tolerate" this situation/person briefly, but I am also handling his dirty business in my own manner which is going to end in a confrontation with me showing this man how sloppy he is and how much danger he's in.

     So, acceptance won't be happening in this situation.  If I was to accept this situation/person then I am no better than the dope he pedals and I know this isn't the case because I value life and contribute to the good of this world!

Perception

Half Empty or Half Full?

     I believe perception is a determining factor of success or failure and it plays a major role in how we interact with others.  I was asked if I feel my rights are respected in this country and it made me think about how I perceive myself and others.

     I responded to that question with, "I don't feel as though my rights are an issue or that they are being disrespected or threatened by anyone!"  I continued with, "I don't have limitations and whatever I want to do in life and with my life I can do, whether it be working in a bank or for a major network or being a drug dealer, I can do whatever I want to do and be the best at it!"  See, my perception is, I am not limited by anything.  Not by another persons beliefs, fears or weaknesses.  Not by laws.  Not by rules. Not by race, age, education or financial barriers.  I am only limited by my lack of creativity, that simple.  The more creative I am the more limitless I become. But this all stems from perception.  If I perceive I have a problem, then I have a problem.  If I don't see a problem or I see the solution to the problem, then there is no problem.  Seeing solutions to problems is not a "cut and dry" science and this is where creativity comes into play.  The more creative you are, the more solutions you can come up with for ANY problem that may arise.  

     Often times, when I share this revelation with others, they are in disbelief because they have operated under limitations for most of their lives.  Because of this they have become "programmed" to respond to problems in a systematical way, more times than not, creating a negative outcome.  It's natural to respond a certain way when that's the only way you know.  It is unnatural to resist what comes naturally, yet this is what is necessary in order operate efficiently and at a premium.  The number one cause of failure is fear.  If you're afraid to fail, then you fail anyways.  If you are willing to use your creativity and do things you have never done you will succeed even if you fail.  Your success is in the fact that you overcame fear, utilized creativity, and sought a solution.  Once you overcome fear, creativity becomes like an addiction or obsession because you will want to seek out solutions from every possible source all of the time.  You will no longer see limitations because you know anything is possible.  This will become your perception.

The Next Challenge

     Today I started the P90X Extreme Home Fitness program and let me tell you something, it's a beast!  After an hour workout and many breaks in between, I'm worn out and sore.  Not a shocker since the last time I did a push up Duran-Duran had a top hit on Billboard.

     Man, I'm out of shape.  This whole thing has been long overdue.  I've known I was getting overweight ever since I popped a button on my pants two days in a row.  I knew I was fat when my underwear size increased.  I knew I was fat when I got winded trying to put my socks on.  It may sound funny, but when you start having trouble wiping your butt because your butt cheeks have expanded, then it's time to drop some weight.

     I chose the P90X because it looked like it would give the best results, plus, on the commercial there was a guy who's body shape looked like mine which inspired me to give the program a try.  P90X basically is about "muscle confusion" as  the workouts constantly change, not giving the muscles time to adapt or adjust to the constant exercising.

Day 1 P90X (245.3lbs)

 

 

 

     Before I started it I told a lot of people what I was going to do and every single one of them said, "it's going to be difficult."  I could hear the doubt in their voices and honestly it served as motivation for me to do this program.  After I continued to hear doubts, I knew I was going to do this program.  I love challenges and quite honestly I was feeling as though I needed something to shake things up because as of late I've been unchallenged.  My sobriety continues on without any hitches and my understanding of the materials in my college classes is increasing which is allowing me to maintain a high GPA so I was beginning to feel stagnant.  I believe the P90X will not only serve as a way to get my body in shape but will also increase my drive and keep me sharp.

     Everything is good, now if I could just tie my shoes!

To hold back or not to hold back, that is the question!

     I really love dealing with and interacting with real people.  People who aren't afraid to make mistakes.  People who can get back up when knocked down, who can tell it like it is with boldness and confidence.  I've got an instructor who has confidently proclaimed, "we may not like what she has to say, but she does not apologize for her opinions!"  That's gangsta!

     I've been known to speak my mind with clarity and I'm transparent about all areas of my life.  The way I see it is like this, if I've told my story, aired my laundry, dirty or not, I have diffused any weapon that can be used against me.  There's nothing left to gossip about after I've made every painful detail public.  Some people hate this about me but will never say it facing me.  That's weakness, fear.  I don't have time for people like that.

     While I'm categorizing people, I must say that I don't like the "bully mentality."  I remember being bullied when I was younger, up until high school.  I found out bullies are cowards and as soon as I stood my ground they scattered like a litter of newborn bitches.  Today, I can't stand to see someone being bullied and I will intervene even if I don't know either party.

     I've said this before but it's worth repeating for those who may have missed it or are just getting to know me, speak your mind when you're dealing with me.  If you don't like something I've said or done, tell me about it, I respect everyone's opinion.  If you want me to stay away from you, say it, your wish is my command.  As it is, I have to speculate what people think because they are afraid to be up front with their opinions concerning the way I carry myself and how I deal with others.  I am certain I have made some errors in judgment but I really can't be faulted when I only have limited information from which to formulate an opinion or make a decision on.

Spiritual Batteries Recharged

Alter call at my church!

     Wooo, glad I made it to church this morning as I was feeling a heavy weight over this last week and was starting to have doubts as to whether I was moving in my own strength or according to God's Word.  Thankfully, I was able to attend my home church The Vineyard North Phoenix and surround myself with others that share my love for Jesus Christ.  I even went down to the front of the alter and asked for some prayer and also came in agreement with other Christians for my ability to receive Christ fully and be guided by His will.

     Before I came, I was feeling as though I was operating in my flesh as I was allowing outside influences to dictate my feelings and actions.  I will continue to stay in prayer and also will keep my friends and family in prayer.  I hope everyone is having a blessed and great day!

What Is Pride?

A stranger helping another!

     I’m writing this post in response to a recent comment about pride.  In that comment a gentleman was pointing out what he believed to be “pride” in my response to an unfair grade I received from an instructor.  I responded to his comment with, “pride isn’t an issue and people who know me, know this isn’t the case.”

     All of this got me to thinking about pride and what it means.  It even caused me to be defensive, having to reevaluate my beliefs and whether I was operating from a prideful stance.  I can say with certainty that I am careful not to harbor pride or its cousins “conceit, greed and entitlement.”

     Anyways, the best way for me to define pride is to describe what pride isn’t.  People who live a life governed by pride don’t care about others, they have too much pride to ask how someone else is doing or if they can be of help in some way.  People who are prideful certainly won’t give anything they have to anyone who asks, they have too much pride for that, and believe others should be able to achieve the same things they have, by themselves, with no help.  Prideful people certainly are not going to give an uplifting word to anyone because they are too interested in hearing other people speak highly of them.  And last, prideful people are never going to ask for help, they have too much pride for that and would rather fail or be without than to ask someone for help.

     Basically, pride stems from self-centered, selfish behavior.  I sleep easily at night knowing that each day I actively seek ways to help anyone and everyone I can.  I have so much excess, in so many areas, that keeping it to myself is a crime.  For me, helping others takes the focus off of the negative things that occur in my life.  And here’s the kicker, I have NO INCOME, yet last year I donated over several thousand dollars in cash and resources.  I did it with a glad heart because my blessings are many.  Prideful people can’t see how much they have and therefore don’t give AT ALL because they have too much pride, imagine that!

Black On Black Crime!

     After 42 years, and even some time before, I've had suspicions and beliefs that black men don't work very well together when one is in an authoritative position.  I've worked many jobs and a few of those were led by  black men, who were older than me, but I suspect age isn't a factor in this phenomenon.  Anyways, in my opinion, each one of these men exaggerated the power of their position when leading other black men.  I've experienced all types of personalities in bosses but I've noticed significant differences when being led by a black man.

     When being led by another black man, I get the impression that he is intentionally trying to separate himself from his black peers and establish that he is superior beyond his job title.  I've witnessed black bosses micro-manage other black employees while they allow their non-black counterparts to operate with impunity, even to the point of the non-blacks performance causing economic loss.  I once had a black supervisor who was given a job by his superiors to reorganize an entire warehouse full of obsolete computers in three days time.  He then came to me, vaguely told me his vision of how the warehouse was to be arranged, and then left me to do the job.  No big deal.  I'm good at organizing and I work well alone.  I did a phenomenal job by myself and even had a day to spare.  When my supervisor came back, after being missing in action, he was stunned by the degree of organization and tidyness the warehouse was in.  Fifteen minutes later, his superiors came in to inspect the warehouse and were greatly impressed and told him as much.  He accepted their compliments like a good dog getting a pat on the head, never once mentioning that I was the one responsible for the state in which the warehouse was in or that I even assisted in it getting that way.  Not only that, but his superiors questioned him on something HE forgot to do and he turned around, in front of them, and barked at me like a drill sargent, to get this project under way.  Because I carry myself as a professional, all the time, I allowed his comments and attitude to roll off of me like water on a duck.  However, because I was raised amongst some real, hardcore, thugs and gangsters, I later, when we were alone, pulled him to the side and told him if he ever talks like that to me again, me and him were going to have some problems.  He understood where I was coming from and he eventually thanked me for all that I had done.

     I have again found myself in a position of being led by black men, this time in college and they are some of my instructors.  Again, I get the impression that they are holding me to a higher standard either because I am black and they don't want anyone thinking they are giving me preferential treatment, or because I am black and they expect more from me than my non-black counterparts because society has dictated that we, as blacks, must work twice as hard as non-blacks to achieve the same level of success as they enjoy.  Whatever the case may be, I get the impression of being treated different by black instructors than I do from non-black instructors.  This post was inspired by the grade I received from the only black instructor I had this term which was a B.  I believe this is an unfair and inaccurate grade and I also believe it has roots in reverse discrimination.  I worked hard to achieve a 4.0 GPA or close to it and I received A's in my other two classes which, by the way, were more difficult in every way, than the one I got a B in.

     Here's a twist to this story that I know you never saw coming as I didn't when my instructor told our class this personal fact.  He is a "card carrying" member of the KKK.  Yes, you read it correctly.  And yes, he is a black man.  He told our class of how, many years ago, he saw an application somewhere to become a member of the KKK so he applied and was accepted and even has paid monthly dues.  I actually found that story amusing, if a bit disturbing, until I received my final grade.  Now, that revelation isn't funny anymore and I am again questioning the ethics of blacks in higher positions over other blacks.  I tell you, black on black crimes don't always involve gold chains and 9mm's!

Making Academic Changes

     I am currently in the process of changing my classes in order to separate myself from the current group of students that I attend classes with.  I came to this decision after much consideration of my progress in college and how I would like to proceed in the future.

     I respect my fellow students and I am saddened that our time together is coming to an end.  I didn't come to this decision easily and I do not wish to offend anyone with my words or choices, therefore I have concluded that I will do better in a different environment, one where I can reach and achieve my maximum potential while at Collins College.

    I wish the best for my former classmates and I am certain they will achieve success at all they do.

Higher Learning

Me in front of my college, Collins College!

     I've heard quite a few students at Collins College talk badly about the school and it's program, saying things to the effect that Collins can't be considered a real college because almost anyone can be accepted or that the classes don't teach enough to give one an edge in a particular field.  I've heard quite a few students complain that they aren't satisfied or impressed by the curriculum and that some of the instructors are questionable.  I may even agree with some of that but my opinions differ greatly in most areas and my perspective is on another level.

      Something I've noticed about the students that complain about Collins and chastise it is, they lack vision, work ethic and motivation.  It's like they're walking around in some kind of fantasy world where everything is perfect and you get rewarded for having a foul disposition and for giving a half-ass effort.  So my question is, if this school is "beneath" them and it doesn't compare to a "real" college, then why can't they make decent grades?  I mean, if the school is a joke, then you should be able to pass every class with flying colors.  You should be able to breeze through these courses like it's nothing.  Shoot, you should be an instructor!

     I watch students struggle everyday because they haven't figured out that "you get back what you put in!"  That's a life rule and I can tell by some peoples actions and words that their lives are miserable.  They would rather look at what someone or something can do for them or didn't do for them, rather than looking to see what they can do for others.  This is why, when they face adversity, even the smallest of issues, they fall apart.  I've been through enough adversity to know the best way to deal with it is to do something for someone else.  It takes the focus off of my issues and allows me to see that the world doesn't revolve around me.

     Now I will tell you that I am not one of the brightest of students.  The last time I was in school was in 1988 when I dropped out of college and decided I was going to "live life" and pursue other endeavors.  Since then, things have changed drastically.  Do you know it took me nearly two hours to figure out that I could push down on my mouse pad on my lap top in order to command an order.  Don't laugh, this is the first computer I've ever owned, which says a lot.  Anyways, what I lack in skills, I make up for in effort.  My attendance is near perfect and my class participation is phenomenal.  My instructors base a lot of my grade purely on my effort to understand and use the materials they've disseminated.  I follow their instructions carefully and carry myself in a professional manner, as if I were already "on the job."  To me, to carry myself in any other manner than being professional is a waste of time and money.  I'm paying for this education so I am going to get the maximum out of this program, even if I don't agree with or like some of the things that occur here, just like a person would have to do in the workforce.

     So, I would advise anyone who wants to complain about ANYTHING to take a look at themselves first, find those faults within yourself, that are difficult to face, and deal with them.  Until you deal with yourself honestly, your words carry NO WEIGHT!  Please don't waste breathe exclaiming something negative if you haven't taken care of that plank in your eye!  Once you can see clearly, you won't want to bring others down with negativity!