Me and My Boys

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Last Black Man Draggin'!

     I am past the point where I can watch another Black man dress up as a woman and act in comedic fashion, hence the reason why I am not a fan of Tyler Perry.  When I first saw his Madea character I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily.  "Please, not another Black man dressing up like a woman," is what I exclaimed, loudly.

     My dislike for Black men in drag really started with Martin Lawrence's role as Big Mama.  To me, it was a cheap rip-off from Eddie Murphy's successful depiction of an entire family in the Nutty Professor series which included the mother and grandmother roles.  In my opinion, Eddie was brilliant in those roles.

     Let's explore the phenomenon of Black men in feminine roles.  I can only remember as far back as the early seventies, and since I am doing minimal research on this subject my memory and opinions will have to do.  That being said, my first memories of Black men dressing up as women start with Flip Wilson and his character named Geraldine.

     From what I recall, Geraldine was sassy with a lot of attitude and also flirtatious.  Looking back on those episodes, Geraldine was always paired with big name stars like Bill Cosby, Muhammad Ali, and Tim Conway to name a few.  Even though Geraldine was the comic relief in those skits it was his/her interactions with the stars that made the skits funny.
 
     Next, I recall Martin Lawrence as "Sheneneh" on his own sitcom.  Again, his interpretation was one of a woman with major attitude and sass who demanded attention.  In this case, Sheneneh was the star and the role really relied on her outrageous behavior.
     There was Arsenio Hall in Coming to America who portrayed a depraved, sex addicted woman who was willing to sleep with multiple men at the same time.  I think it was funny because it came about totally unexpected, and the thought of him sleeping with himself is just hilarious.

     On The Jamie Foxx show, Jamie played a woman named Wanda who was extremely ugly with strong sexual desires and attitude.  I don't believe this portrayal worked because it had been done, with mixed reviews by Martin Lawrence.

     There was Wesley Snipes actually playing a woman in drag in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, and Miguel Nunez as a basketball playing woman in Juwanna man.
     Eddie Murphy portrayed multiple roles in Coming to America, none of them women, but I believe it was because of the success of his roles in that movie that he expanded to female roles in the Nutty Professor franchise, which by the way, were near genius.

     So, why is the portrayal of Black women by Black men so successful and interesting?  Well, in my opinion it's because of the importance Black women play in the life of their children.  There is no stronger person in my life than my mother.  My mother has been everything to me, strong, supportive, sensitive to my feelings, caring, giving, a disciplinarian, loving and the list goes on.  I believe most men can relate to this but more so by Black men.  More Black men are raised in single-parent households, led by their mother's, than any other race.  Because of this, Black women often times play dual roles in the upbringing of their son's, having to be both the mother and the father.  Obviously, a mom can't adequately fill the role of a man as a father to his son, and because of this inability to do so, mothers often exaggerate the guidance they give their son's.  In a lot of cases, the mother will put their young son's in the role of the missing father, putting adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child.  I digress.
     Anyways, most Black men can easily tell you about the strong women in their lives and the memories from their childhood of their mother's, grandmother's, aunts and cousins.  I always compare my mother to E.F. Hutton, because when she talks, EVERYBODY LISTENS!  My mama didn't play when I was a kid and she don't play forty years later.  I remember one time my mother told me to turn my music down.  I turned it down a little thinking it was enough to satisfy her request when, out of nowhere, I see her foot crashing through my door, slamming it open, and yelling at me "turn that moth@fu%$#$ music down!"  It's funny to recall that now, but when it actually happened it was one of the most terrifying things I had ever seen.  What made it so scary was, my mom doesn't curse, so bringing her to that much rage was eye opening and extremely unsettling.  My friend who was in the room with me, would not leave my house by going out the front door.  He didn't want to walk past my mom to exit the house so he jumped out of my window.
     I am certain you can stop any Black man and ask him to share a memory of his mother disciplining him and he will be able to give you many stories of his mother "snapping" and tearing his ass up.
     Speaking for most Black men in general, we have a healthy respect for the women that raised us, which is why portraying them is funny.  For one, the portrayal of a Black woman by a Black man is his interpretation of what he witnessed and experienced growing up.  It is also a way to safely "make fun of mama" without getting your ass whooped.  Plus, Black men know that the next Black man can relate to the role because more than likely their own mama's have acted in similar fashion at some point in their lives.  Though most of those portrayals aren't very flattering, I believe they were all created out of the love a son has for his mother.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Call Me Crazy!

     Call me crazy, but I just cannot bring myself to spend money to go to a haunted house or to a movie theater to watch depraved, horrific acts.  As far as haunted houses are concerned, it's that time of year where people(pagans) celebrate the macabre and morbid day of hallows eve.

     First, let me state for the record that this is not a post bashing the goings on of Halloween celebrations.  I used to trick-or-treat as a child and I have children who do so now.  No, this post is about my unwillingness to spend hard-earned money to witness people dress up like demons and attempt to scare me or go to the movies and watch any number of films that depict demonic possession, murder, violence, depravity.

     There are thousands of high-end haunted houses across the country that charge anywhere from $5 to $100 per person to enter.  That in itself is a horror, and paying that should be a crime. I digress.  My stance comes from the fact that I tithe money to my church and give money to the needy.  How can I justify spending money on demon worshiping?  Also, I have no fear of demons, so I would basically be giving my money away receiving no services.

     I don't consider looking at grotesque images as being "fun!"  Not even curious.  You want to read a scary book, read The Bible.  It's got some stories that will scare you straight like the seven sons of Sceva [Acts 19:13-16].  Them dudes tried to exorcise a "real" demon and ended up getting beat to within an inch of their lives!

     Something else to consider is, demon possession shouldn't be taken lightly.  It takes form very subtly, most times without a person realizing it is happening to them.  I see a lot of possessed people everyday.  I can tell by their words and actions they are possessed.  At one point in time, I was possessed, caught in the bondage of drug addiction and doing all sorts of depraved acts.  Do you know that I tried many, many programs and treatments to overcome addiction, but the only thing that worked was allowing The Holy Spirit to work in my life.

     So, after spending many years doing what pagans do, I choose to recognize and stay away from foulness.  Before I spend money on ANYTHING that remotely resembles satanism, I will give twice that amount toward something Good!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Sobriety Tip #233 - Surround Yourself With Positive People!

     This may sound like a no-brainer, but surrounding yourself with positive people is a must if you are going to be successful in your sobriety.  The power of positive and negative is real.  Constantly being around one or the other will be a difference maker in your recovery efforts.

     One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with.  I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with  positive words.  It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word.  I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation.  This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.

     When working on sobriety, YOU come first.  Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Is Money What You Really Need?

     Did I ever tell you the story about the time a gentleman asked me for fifty cents?  Well, if I didn't, here goes.  I was walking from a class one day, that was located in a bad part of town, when a homeless looking gentleman asked me if I could spare fifty cents.  I was sad to tell him that I didn't have any money on me, but if I did, I would've have surely given it to him.  He thanked me anyways and continued walking.  I cut across the street, and continued to walk to my bus stop, but I kept hearing the words from Dr. Creflo Dollar saying that we can't claim to be blessed if we can't bless anyone.  It was at that point that I remembered that I had several five dollar money orders in my bag that were blank so I crossed back, against traffic, and ran to catch that gentleman who asked me for the fifty cents.  When I approached him I said, "I don't have any money, but I do have a blank money order for five dollars if you think that would help."  He accepted it, said thank you, and then said, "Hey, I know you've got another money order you can spare!"

     Now, this whole event started with him asking for fifty cents.  I gave him five dollars which was a five hundred percent increase of what he originally asked for.  When he asked me for another five, I politely told him I couldn't spare it, but he continued to badger me, so I declined and walked away.  As you can imagine, I walked away shaking my head in disbelief of what had just happened.  That dude had some nerve to ask for more after I gave him more than he originally asked for.

     Anyways, I've noticed that a lot of people have that same "take all you can get!" mentality.  It's sad because they don't realize there is more happiness in giving than in receiving.

     I've had a few situations like this occur, with the most recent from a lady who questioned my Christianity because I didn't give her money in a timely manner.  This woman claimed to need help because she only had a few dollars on her credit cards(red flag), and her vehicle was old and high maintenance(red flag) and she didn't have much food to eat.  She said if I wanted to help I could put money on her PayPal account(red flag).

     There are a lot of red flags in this situation.  For one, I've helped many people, with thousands of dollars, yet I have never met a person who had a PayPal account, credit cards and a vehicle, that needed help.  I'm sure there are plenty of people who want help but what they need is some counseling.  I've noticed many, many people living outside of their means.  You have got to prioritize what is important.  You can't buy an eight dollar pack of cigarettes, every day, but have no food in your refrigerator.  You can't make car payments on an eighty thousand dollar truck and live in an apartment receiving food stamps.  Prioritize!  Stop having a "me" attitude and quit being self-centered.  Think about others!  Look outside of yourself and you will find happiness!

Thursday, July 26, 2012

No Matter How You Slice It, Guns Kill!

     I recently stated that I am neither for or against gun ownership, but after thinking about that statement I really have to admit that I am against guns, period.  I cannot justify the use of a gun for any reason.  I've heard arguments that guns are necessary to combat evil, and guns are necessary for protection etc., but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that the majority of people that are killed with guns are innocent victims.

     I was watching a program on CNBC, which I can't recall the name of, that was showing that 90% of the guns seized in Mexico came from the U.S.  That's terrible on a couple of different levels.  The story went into detail about the murder rate in Mexico and it told of many innocent victims being gunned down by drug cartels.  One story that stuck in my mind, and inspired this blog, was the intentional shooting of a seven year old boy.  A cartel blew his brains out as he exited the vehicle his father was driving.  I have children, including an eight year old son and when I saw those pictures and the mother was devastated, I was nearly in tears.  It was senseless.

     Unfortunately, this thing plays out all the time, everyday, in the United States.  People are losing their lives to gun violence and yet many Americans will fight to the death to keep their right to bear arms.  I have no argument for this.  I don't need one.  I cannot/will not argue with people who can overlook senseless deaths due to gun violence, in order to support their freedom to bear arms.  You can argue 'til you're blue in the face for your right to bear arms but that won't change my value of life over liberties.  I'm not paralyzed with fear that I have to carry a gun to protect my family!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

From The Desk Of Gary Mason
     Most of the strongest, amazing people I know have been through some kind of serious adversity whether it be surviving a health issue, or losing a loved one, or drug addiction or molestation or any number of other catastrophic events that occur everyday.  What separates these people from everyone else is their ability to persevere through the adversity.

     The ability to rise over adversity is no easy feat.  The proof of that statement can be found in the number of people who take their own lives because they couldn't go on any longer.  The most recent suicide rate that I could find listed suicides worldwide at 10.07 per 100,000 thousand people.  (curr)

     That is an alarming and sad statistic.  However, it's not surprising that many people are suffering in a world that caters to a humans worst nature.  Where violence plays out like a video game and people are still sold in slavery, albeit the sex trade, where girls as young as 8 have been reported to have been abused.  In many countries, guns are carried more often than books, and children know how to clean and load an AK-47 before they've had their first kiss.  Drugs saturate the entire world and more people are addicted to some kind of substance than there are facilities to treat them.

     So, without continuing on with these depressing realities, my original intention was to bring light to the people who have overcome their circumstances and are better for having gone through them.  These people need to be recognized for their perseverance and abilities to make a better life not just for themselves but for others by sharing their difficulties and encouraging others to move forward and past their problems.

     I am thankful to be one of these people and I applaud and appreciate everyone who has moved past their circumstances.  God bless you all!

"Current Worldwide Suicide Rate." ChartsBin. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 July 2012. <http://chartsbin.com/view/prm>.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Is The Fist Bump Necessary?

     O.k., it's already been established that I'm old.  Heck, I've got people tryin' to tell me I can't see properly and may need glasses.  I've got gray hairs growing in places that hair really shouldn't be growing from in the first place.  And last, I've got kids that are old enough to have kids, however I'm not ready to be a grandpa yet!

     Anyways, I'm at a loss over this "fist bump" phenomenon that seems to have swept the world.  I don't understand why, after I get done having a conversation with another man, that man feels the need to bump fists together.  What is the significance in that gesture?  Is it necessary?  If you're asking me, the answer is an absolute NO!  It's not necessary.

     I'm not a touchy type of guy.  I don't feel the need to hug people upon meeting them or bumping fist before leaving them.  I am accustomed to the standard, firm handshake, eye contact and brief greeting, but other than that, I don't want to touch anyone.  Maybe I have some kind of phobia.  Call me crazy but I think it's ridiculous and a bit childish to bump fists with another man after having a conversation.

     It's gotten to the point where I may have to fist bump the same guy several times within a relatively short period of time.  That's silly.  And it's not just amongst casual acquaintances.  I've also had instructors and other professionals extend their fists out to be bumped like we just scored a touchdown in the Superbowl. 

     I tell you, people watch too much television.  Leave the fist bumping to the pro athletes and those individuals with the jock mentality.  There's too much bromance and affection going on between men already.  When you see me on the street, a head nod will do or a "what's up bro?" but lets quit the fist bump already!

Friday, June 15, 2012

Is It Really That Hard To Throw Your Trash Away?

     Everyday I witness someone throwing trash on the ground like that's where it naturally belongs.  I see this happen all the time by people who I would otherwise consider to be intelligent and caring but when I see them litter I conclude that they are careless, insensitive, jerks.

     I know that may be harsh but I can't find any other way to describe them because there is NO plausible excuse for throwing ones trash on the ground.  Do you know that littering speaks volumes about your character?  It tells me that you are lazy, self-centered, lazy, uncaring about others, filthy, ignorant, lazy and just plain out lazy.  The crazy thing is, it isn't hard to throw trash into a receptacle.  It isn't rocket science.  You don't have to apply a formula to solve the problem.  I'm not even asking that you recycle, although it is an excellent idea.  All you have to do is care enough not to throw your crap on the ground.

An actual park where I picked up trash
     I think if you are caught littering, everyone should be able to come to your house and dump their trash on your property.  On second thought, I don't know how effective that would be because people that litter more than likely have trashy homes anyways so it wouldn't make much difference if more trash were added.

    I apologize for sounding so critical of litterers, I just really don't appreciate people who are so inconsiderate that they would throw their trash around like the planet is theirs.  Again, littering speaks volumes about your character.  Actions speak louder than words.  What is it that you are saying with your actions?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Nobody Can Drive Like I Do!

     I came to this conclusion many years back, but I have been recently reminded of this fact as I am often a passenger in other peoples cars.  I tell you, nobody can drive worth a darn anymore.  Wait a minute, I take that back, my dad, father-in-law and mother-in-law can all drive decently, but other than that, everyone else is terrible.

     It probably doesn't help that I've been in six accidents over the years.  Four of those weren't my fault and two of those four I wasn't even driving.  The last accident I was in wasn't my fault technically.  The other driver failed to yield while making a left turn and I plowed into him, at 35 m.p.h which effectively tore the front end off of my car and caused minor injuries to me and my passengers.  The other driver was cited for failing to yield but I was arrested for driving under the influence.  I know what you're thinking and you're right, I was an idiot for drinking and driving.  Since that accident, I haven't driven anymore and that happened in 2002.

     So, from that accident, I have been traumatized by driving, in particular, other peoples driving.  It is VERY difficult to be a passenger in other peoples cars.  I often wish there was a "brake" on the passenger side because I would be using that thing all the time.  When I am a passenger in other peoples cars I notice ALL of their bad habits, even habits that don't have anything to do with driving.  Seriously though, if you're driving and I'm a passenger in your vehicle, here's a few tips that I'd really appreciate you follow while we are together.

1.  PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD - don't look at me, your cell-phone, your cigarette or anything else while your driving.
2.  WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN...GO! - again, don't look at me while you are stopped at a light and have a conversation.
3.  PAY ATTENTION TO TRAFFIC - if your turning into another lane, pay attention to oncoming traffic.  If there is a "gap" a mile wide, go ahead and make the turn, DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND TALK TO ME AND THEN WAIT UNTIL THERE IS ONLY TEN FEET BETWEEN YOU AND THE NEXT CAR AND THEN DECIDE TO PULL OUT!
4.  JUST DRIVE - shut up and just drive.  We don't always have to talk.  Just get us to our destination!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It!

Me during a recovery video
     I recently gave an introduction speech in my Interpersonal Communication class where the person I introduced was none other than Jesus Christ.  I was a bit nervous but I did very well, even receiving 97% for my grade.  I enjoyed the assignment and I look forward to the following two speeches I have left to give.

     After I gave my speech I was critiqued by my instructor and classmates, all of which was helpful in assessing how my speech was delivered and its effectiveness.  I received a revelation after hearing some of the feedback that is insightful as to how non-believers of Jesus Christ view Christians.  There was a general consensus that my overall delivery was very good because I didn't come off in a "preachy" way!  They said, "I stuck to the facts," and "didn't try to push my views on the audience," and when they heard me give an account of Jesus Christ it was as if I was talking about a truly beloved friend or relative.  They also said what helped my speech was the fact that I pointed out that though some might not believe in Jesus Christ, it is o.k. to have different views.

     So what I learned is there are many people who despise Christians because they feel Christians try to push their beliefs on others, most times in a condemning way.  Some non-believers also see Christians as though they think they are better than those that don't follow Christ and also Christians are hypocrites as many can be seen doing the same things and sometimes worse, than non-believers.

     I won't argue any of those statements, I will just say that I don't know of any of those Christians that I described above.  That's because I don't look at ANYONE'S faulty behavior.  I don't spend time judging the things that the people around me do.  Quite honestly I don't have the time or energy to pay attention to what the next man is doing.  I am too busy keeping my flesh in order, which by the way is a full-time job.

     As far as how I carry myself and my faith, it's no secret that I love Jesus Christ and I walk in the Grace, Love and Power of Christ.  My words reflect that and my actions reflect that in everything I do.  Am I perfect?  Of course not, but I am nowhere near where I used to be when I was living for my flesh, doin' all types of detestable acts.  Thankfully I actually believe in The Word of Christ and have received and continue to receive God's Grace over my life.  Now I have the power to deny my flesh the things that would cause my death spiritually and physically.  Here's the kicker, I don't have to come off "preachy" to anyone.  All I do is live my life through God's Grace and His many blessings and people CAN SEE FOR THEMSELVES that something is different about me.

     I am quick to give thanks and tell people that may be interested how I got to where I'm at.  If someone asks me about Jesus Christ, I will gladly give testimony to His good works.  One thing that I will never do is cast my pearls before swine meaning, if you don't want to hear it I won't force it on you!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

To Get High Or Not To Get High, What Do You Want For Your Life?

     This post is not an endorsement for or against using drugs.  It is simply my first hand experiences and observations of drug use.

     Drugs, drugs, drugs.  People choose to use them for any number of reasons and there may be just as many reasons not to use them.  Any way you cut it, each person should make a sober decision when it comes to whether or not they will use drugs.

     I speak only from my experience.  I can not operate at an optimum level and use drugs at the same time.  It is not physically possible to operate at an optimum level while under the influence because the effects of drugs alter my mindset and my ability to reason properly.  This is one of the reasons why many people use drugs, to change their reality, however temporary that may be.

     I bought and sold marijuana and cocaine by the pound and ounces respectively, and I smoked as much as a half ounce everyday for a long time(23 years).  During that time, my intellect slowed considerably.  I lost focus of goals I wanted to achieve and I became lackadaisical in all my endeavors.  It was more fun for me to pursue the high and maintain it than it was for me to pursue life and enjoy it!  Shortly after my stint with marijuana I came across LSD, methamphetamine and cocaine and took a liking to cocaine.  My life at that time was fully absorbed in obtaining cocaine and maintaining the high that it gave me, at any cost.  Long story short, I lost almost everything that was important to me.  It took supernatural intervention for me to break the bondage of addiction and get another chance at life.  Today, I enjoy success in all I put my hand on, but that is because of God's grace on me, giving me the ability to abstain from drugs. (Close to two years of sobriety)

     It would be ludicrous to believe there are no successful drug users.  However, I know more people who are successful who've never used or have quit using drugs, than I do of people who get high consistently.  I would encourage you to set yourself above using drugs and realize the potential that is inside you!

Monday, May 7, 2012

It Is Dangerous And Sinful To Rush Into The Unknown

From the desk of Gary Mason
     I recently turned 43 and with that I've come to realize some important truths from lessons learned.  One of these lessons would be about taking my time with what I do and having patience.  I tell you, I am no longer in a rush to do ANYTHING!  I've adopted the mindset that I will let things come to me instead of me chasing them and I will take my time in making decisions.  Actually, I've had this mindset for awhile but recent events have caused me to reevaluate this process.

     For whatever reason, people seem to think they have the ability to determine MY path.  I guess I am partially to blame for this mad reasoning as I allow people to share their dreams and hopes with me and rarely do I offer any opinions or criticisms.  The issue is, some of their hopes and dreams involve me, sometimes with me playing a crucial role in their plans.  Honestly, the reason why I don't say much about their plans is because I am stuck in awe that they've conceived such plans without actually consulting me about them.  I mean, if you are creating a business, one of the most important steps is to plan.  If you are including a business partner, the business partner has to be involved with the process.  This to me is a no brainer.

     If you are involving others in some endeavor it would be wise to get them on board with the plan before you start making commitments.  Otherwise you are being presumptuous and risk your plans failing.  I've had this happen, were a person assumed I was on board with their plans and when their plans failed they turned around and placed the blame on me for it's failure.  Sadly, I wasn't amazed at the outcome or the reaction as these things are fairly predictable.  I am amazed however, at the audacity people have when making assumptions instead of getting concrete confirmations to plans made.

     So, when I am confronted by anyone who has a plan that involves me, I let them put their idea on the table, I carefully listen to the details, and I assess the possibilities as they are speaking.  Then I await the most important part, and that is them officially asking me if I would like to be a part of their endeavor.  Until that happens, assuming I will be a part of the plan is a mistake.

     Finally, if all the criteria has been met, I take my time in making a decision as I like to have as much information as possible before making a commitment.  Rushing into anything can have dire results and I simply can not afford to make errors at this juncture in my life.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

What Is The Real Battle?

     I've been in a state of recovery from drugs for over fifteen years, ever since I first went into a program to help me with the destructive behavior I was caught in.  Today I have close to two years of sobriety.  I've been through five or six programs, arrested multiple times, been jacked(mugged) several times, friends have died, ties have been severed and bridges have been burned.  Through all of this I have learned many lessons but most importantly I found out I couldn't accomplish anything without Jesus Christ.

     Hence the reason for this blog.  I left a recovery group recently because they didn't want anyone proclaiming their love and faith in any particular higher power as they believe some people have a hard time with religion and they don't want to scare people away that may be seeking sobriety.  I would like to say I understand their reasoning but I don't.  Not only that, but I don't want to be a part of any group that I have to conceal or hide my love for Jesus Christ.

    Part of the insidious nature of addiction is one's technique of hiding their addiction.  The very nature of deception will keep an addict an addict.  In order for me to be able to have the sobriety I have today, I had to change a lot of things about myself including lying and deception. I operate in total transparency with an attitude of gratitude and I'm able to give thanks and recognition to God for His Grace on me, giving me the strength to overcome an addiction that was leading me to death.

     So, I have a problem with recovery programs that emphasize a higher power other than yourself, just don't share your higher power with anyone because that may turn people off.  Let me see here, I can share my higher power, Jesus Christ, who only gives life and freedom from ALL bondage, or I can let people just continue to struggle in their bondage and die.  This one is a no-brainer and I will always share my love of Jesus Christ with anyone who is receptive!

     People who are in bondage to anything, drugs, sex, money, hate, death, aren't battling Jesus, Buddha, Allah, John Smith or any other higher power, they are battling satan, and only through Christ have we been given power over EVERYTHING!

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Runnin' on all cylinders

My birthday at Honey Bears
     It's been awhile since I last posted, sorry about that, I've been a little busy this last month with projects and finals and all.  Right now I'm on a well deserved break from everything(except my wife) who by the way has dominated and directed MY free time.  Ya, I'm not too happy about the "honey-do" list she's created which includes things from doctors appointments to yard-sales, but as she has pointed out, it's all in the marriage contract, you just have to read the fine print.

     Anyways, I just finished finals a week ago, and check this out, I got a B in college Algebra. Ya, I'm amazed too.  I tell you, while I was taking that final, which took three days by the way, I had my Bible on my desk opened up to Romans 8:28.  One of my classmates remarked, "is it that serious that you need your Bible?"  I responded, "I need all the help I can get!"  My other two classes, Cultural Diversity and Environmental Science were relatively easy as I passed both of those with A's.

Some of my stills that are going to be shown
     So just when I am ecstatic about my collegiate endeavors, I get a call from a prominent acting studio out here that wants to display some of my still photos.  Man, my opportunities continue to blossom.

     Let's see, what else is happening?  Oh, there's talk of a reunion with my old group The Line/O.G.P.  We are planning to remix and release an album with some old and some new material.  We haven't seen each other since 1997 and I look forward to meeting up with them.  1997 is also the last time I produced any music as that is when my entire studio was robbed and I lost everything including $25,000 worth of instruments and recording equipment.  So you can only imagine how happy I was to produce my first track since that time.  I've been blessed to be able to acquire a keyboard and some software and I produced a track as soon as I was able to get everything together.  Here's a link to it if you're interested. http://soundcloud.com/gary-mason/g-style-swang

     My blessings continue, my 43rd birthday just passed and I only get better.  Thank You Father!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

United We Stand, Divided We FAIL

     I am saddened to have to address issues of hate, violence and racism in the year 2012.  It's ridiculous that little progress has been made through the equality and observance of human rights.  I am having trouble even comprehending the direction this nation is going in and why, after all of these years, there's no value to a black man's life.

     The murder of Trayvon Martin, February 26th, 2012, is a sad reminder of the underlying hate for, and fear of, black people in the United States.  The lack of an arrest in this case is a typical process that black people in this country have witnessed thousands of times over.  This situation, within the black community, has been happening for so long that it is neither shocking nor unexpected.  However, as with all adversity we go through, we will prevail, we will overcome, and we will rise with dignity and respect and show love for our brothers and sisters of ALL COLORS, RACES, ETHNICITY, CULTURES, AND NATIONALITY!

     Now is the time for all of us to unite together for the equality of all.  We cannot allow the actions of "a few" to cause us to fall to their level and operate in violence and fear.  We will not tolerate violence and hate against anyone and we will not repay violence with violence.  STAND UP MY BROTHERS AND SHOW WHAT YOU ARE MADE OF!!!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Inclusive Words Are Dangerous!

From the desk of Gary Mason
     I love intelligent, thought-provoking, conversations.  I also like the art of debate.  I believe a good debater can effectively argue from all sides of a topic.  This being said, today I was involved in a conversation where a gentleman was giving his perspective on Christians and the Church.  In his dialogue he stated that ALL people in church have an ulterior motive or use deception at some point.  Instantly, I pointed out that he was generalizing which weakened his argument and rendered it ineffective.

     I actually felt bad for this gentleman and I was hoping he would change his approach in order to win this imaginary contest but he chose to continue his argument even adding that he grew up in a church family and had served many years in the church, as if this were going to validate his position.

     It is a mistake to speak in general terms about specific issues.  There is no possible way that you can account for every person, situation, or issue other than using generalities, and if you choose to use generalities you can not stand on facts because facts are based on specific information or results.

     I believe using inclusive words like "all, us, we, them" is dangerous.  Sometimes when my wife has made a mistake she likes to say what "we" need to do next time.  I tell her that "we" implies "I" had something to do with "her" choices and then I remind her that "I" didn't have anything to do with what "she" did.

     Anyways, if anyone is up for some good conversation, I am always up for the challenge.  Just know that I am very good at listening and I will find the hole in your game and fill it!

Monday, March 19, 2012

What Man In His RIGHT Mind Believes This Is A Man's World?


     One of my college instructors expressed her opinion that this is “a man’s world” and that we still operate by male dominated standards.  My first reaction was to challenge what she was saying but after pondering her words I thought I should at least give some consideration to her opinion before blurting out the first thing that comes to mind.

Considered the "Who's Who" of powerful men clubs
     I guess I will start by getting the obvious out of the way by pointing out that she and I are on opposite ends of this spectrum if only because we are woman and man respectively.  I will attempt to express my opinion without using that reason as my sole argument.  First, my instructor’s statement included “exclusive men’s club” as part of her description of a man’s world.  I can agree with that, to a degree, in the fact that I believe that a relatively small group of men make decisions that affect or control the global economy.  However, that group which may be exclusively male is not all-inclusive, meaning not every male is invited to participate in this exclusive club.  My logic is, if it doesn’t include all males then “a man’s world” theory doesn’t apply.  My “world” isn’t determined by the decisions of men I don’t know nor would I allow them to have authority over me, that would be absurd.

     I've heard and been told many times, as a black man, that I can not blame my circumstances on the inequalities of life.  I can’t blame the white man for having to live in the ghetto, being on welfare, unemployed, drug dealing/addicted, being incarcerated or being a victim of violent crime at a higher rate than all other races combined.  It’s been ingrained in my psyche that this is America and if you want to succeed, you have to work for it and you can achieve it.  I believe this rhetoric but I will add “some have to work many times harder than others in order to achieve the same level of success!”  This truth can be applied to ALL people.

     So, I cannot fully agree with my instructor’s opinion, though I do understand where she is coming from.  A smart man knows the value of women and would never elevate himself above a woman.  A smart man will show he can lead and be led, that his success and general happiness is dependant upon his mutual respect for women, and if they aren’t enjoying equality then neither is he!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

     My pastor said in regards to Christ's Kingdom, "His Kingdom produces change in the tactics of the people who are part of His Kingdom!"  Change in tactics.  I am really feeling this revelation.

     I know for a fact that I operate on a different level than most of the people that are around me, but before people start throwing their arms up in a huff, let me explain my position.  I believe I handle adversity very well.  I don't see limitations or barriers the same as other people do.  As a matter of fact, I believe the only obstacles I face are the ones that I am not creative enough to overcome.  Other than that there's nothing I can't do, nothing I can't achieve.  I truly believe this.

     My words are not the proof of my convictions, my actions are.  I carry myself in a manner that doesn't overwhelm others or intrudes on others own beliefs.  It is because I believe in and trust in Jesus Christ and I am able to walk in strength and peace and compassion and love for others.  I continually reap the benefits of carrying myself in this manner including the stability of my family, my sobriety from bondage to drug addiction, my success in college and the blessings of creativity through Christ Jesus.  All of this came from a change in tactics.  I quit operating within my own power.  I actively seek to do the will of Jesus Christ and since I became born again I have been able to live a life without fear or worry and free from all bondage.

     Think about living a life free of fear and worry with the ability to succeed in all that you do.  It's not a fantasy.  I'm living proof!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Now That's Gangsta!



     The New Oxford American Dictionary defines gangster as:  a member of a gang of violent criminals.  Gary Mason's Dictionary Of Street Slang And Other Words Black People Made Cool defines gangsta as:  anything or anyone that is fearless, heroic, bold, controversial, aggressive, innovative, and creative beyond ordinary expectations.

     With that loose definition I will share with you what I consider gangsta.  I just finished watching Freedom Riders and I tell you all of the people that participated in the freedom rides are gangsta.  Toward the end of this national protest for the equality of all, these riders, more than three hundred, were put in prison, not jail, prison, to do hard labor for breaking segregation laws in Mississippi.  Not only did they go to prison, but they knew before they boarded the buses and trains in their respective cities, that they were going to go to prison.  That's gangsta!  Believing in and fighting for something without regard to personal safety, knowing that a prison sentence is inevitable and death could also be a possibility, and still moving forward is gangsta.  The Governor of Mississippi at that time, Ross Barnett, was trying to send a message to the Freedom Riders that if they came to Mississippi, they were going to go to prison.  When the Freedom Riders heard about this, they started singing songs like "The buses are comin'."  Their resolve was, they weren't afraid of anything that the state of Mississippi could throw at them.  That's gangsta!

     I watched, with pride in my heart, black and white people, side by side, get on those buses and head out to the deep south to non-violently fight for the greater good of all people.  When I listened to them speak about what they went through, I had nothing but admiration for them.  Those people are real heroes.  I can't even imagine people uniting like that today and standing for a cause that would bring equality to all.  However, I do believe there are people out there who will stand up for what is right and if pushed, will fight to the death for the "cause."

     So, the next time you hear Lil' Wayne rap or you watch the movie Scarface and think that's the definition of gangsta, think again.  Real gangsta's get it done without using violence and they fight for causes that are worthy of recognition and praise.

   

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Diamonds In The Rough And One Mans Trash...

     I am very thankful for all of the experiences I've had and my ability to "maximize" any situation I find myself in.  I possess the trait of being able to turn lemons into lemonade and can turn adversity into advantage.

     I learned from a very young age to "make do with what I've got," or go without.  It's because of this mentality that I am able to find joy in the little things in life like giving and/or receiving a kind word or smile from a stranger or finding treasures that other people would consider trash.  I am often amazed by what people will toss to the side, including material items but also other people.  I don't take anyone for granted, on any level, whether they be friend or foe, and I tell you I have made many pleasant discoveries because my mind is open to infinite possibilities.  I have met many interesting people and have benefited from developing relationships with them.  Had I been narrow-minded, or judged prematurely, I would have missed out on some of the most enjoyable experiences I've ever had.

     So, I laugh to myself when people scoff at some of the things or people I find interesting.  On the other hand I'm thankful they don't like some of the same things as I do because that leaves more for me.  More power to Gary.  I'm tellin' you, I find more treasure from the things that the majority of people would toss to the side, that I will never stop seeing a "diamond" everywhere I look.  If y'all was smart, you would start paying attention to why I'm always positive even when going through drama.  It's a free gift but many won't receive it because they can't see past themselves!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Perspective

     Black history month is nearly over and as it passes I am inspired to share some observations I have made over the last few weeks.

     I was watching the movie The Freedom riders in my cultural diversity class and was reminded about why black people as a whole are so resilient.  Seeing them face extreme adversity, up to death, gives me strength and courage in the knowledge that I possess the same fortitude that they have.

Me and NBA Star Grant Hill
     I don't believe people who are not black understand the bond we share as blacks, through the pain and suffering of generations before us and through the thinly veiled hate that is still prevalent today.  I am often amazed by the comments of non-blacks about blacks.  I've had non-blacks basically tell me that I don't know my own people and that I am mistaken about interpretations of other black peoples actions.  That's absurd and presumptuous.  Let me put it this way, if I was speaking to a person of another race, let's say native, and that person was telling me about a situation he had been through with another native and how he perceived their interaction, it would be presumptuous of me to offer an uninformed opinion concerning them.  I don't know what natives have been through, I don't know how they think, and to assume that they think like me is ridiculous.  We, as people, have very different histories, though there are some similarities but not enough that I can assume I know what they are thinking or what they've been through.  This same logic applies to all races, so when I hear someone who is not black telling me what another black man means by their words and actions, I am left stupefied.  This has happened recently, and on several different occasions, and the non-black people that are voicing their opinions are genuinely secure in their position that they know what they are talking about.  I find this really disturbing and disrespectful.  If another person of a different race was to tell me something about their race, my first reaction wouldn't be to question their knowledge or sincerity and I wouldn't attempt to correct them with an opinion based upon my own experiences which have no bearing on what they are talking about.  There is a lot to be gained by listening to what someone is saying and not interjecting an opinion that is based on an outside experience.

     I believe the root of this issue is self-centered thinking.  If people actually took the time to listen to what another person is saying instead of waiting for that person to stop speaking so they can interject their opinion, people might actually learn something significant about the person they are talking to.  Unfortunately, I come across a lot of people who know a lot about nothing and know nothing about a lot of things.  I usually shake my head and walk away from the conversation thanking God he has given me the ability to listen and show an actual interest in my brothers and sisters without acting like I know everything.  The lesson today:  Really think before you speak.  If you take a second to think about your words, you may be able to contribute to a productive conversation!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Tolerance vs. Acceptance

From the desk of Gary Mason
     Had a discussion about tolerance and acceptance which I thought was interesting.  The conclusion of the conversation was that we are to choose to accept rather than tolerate because acceptance is an act of understanding, respecting and giving value to a person or situation.

     One of the examples used was that of a neighbor you may not like or have anything in common with and you choose to "tolerate" that situation/person because they live next to you.  In an ideal world, we are to accept everyone for who they are, giving respect to their ideals and beliefs and acknowledging they have value in the community.

     When I heard this I instantly thought of one of my neighbors that I've been "tolerating."  I don't foresee me ever accepting him for who and what he is because he is a contradiction as to how I carry myself now.  Let me explain.  My neighbor is a low level, sloppy, drug dealer.  The reason I say sloppy is because he doesn't handle his affairs properly.  I've had his customers come to my apartment looking for dope.  His customers are blatant about what they do.  His supplier is sloppy, often dropping off dope packages in broad daylight without concealing them.  All of this adds up to someone who is careless in a business where carelessness can get you killed.  Did I mention that he lives next door to me and I have children?  Have I tried to remedy this situation?  A little.  I told the landlord, who lives on property, about the situation.  He said he knows what is going on and would speak to this guy about it.  That quieted things for a couple of weeks but then it went back to business as usual.  Part of the problem with that particular situation is the landlord is friends with this dude and more than likely a customer of his too.  So what are my other options?  Call the police?  Not an option for a couple of reasons.  Number one, the police are ineffective and two, I don't snitch.  I could move, which is what I plan on doing after my youngest son completes third grade, three years from now.  So I have opted to "tolerate" this situation/person briefly, but I am also handling his dirty business in my own manner which is going to end in a confrontation with me showing this man how sloppy he is and how much danger he's in.

     So, acceptance won't be happening in this situation.  If I was to accept this situation/person then I am no better than the dope he pedals and I know this isn't the case because I value life and contribute to the good of this world!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Perception

Half Empty or Half Full?
     I believe perception is a determining factor of success or failure and it plays a major role in how we interact with others.  I was asked if I feel my rights are respected in this country and it made me think about how I perceive myself and others.

     I responded to that question with, "I don't feel as though my rights are an issue or that they are being disrespected or threatened by anyone!"  I continued with, "I don't have limitations and whatever I want to do in life and with my life I can do, whether it be working in a bank or for a major network or being a drug dealer, I can do whatever I want to do and be the best at it!"  See, my perception is, I am not limited by anything.  Not by another persons beliefs, fears or weaknesses.  Not by laws.  Not by rules. Not by race, age, education or financial barriers.  I am only limited by my lack of creativity, that simple.  The more creative I am the more limitless I become. But this all stems from perception.  If I perceive I have a problem, then I have a problem.  If I don't see a problem or I see the solution to the problem, then there is no problem.  Seeing solutions to problems is not a "cut and dry" science and this is where creativity comes into play.  The more creative you are, the more solutions you can come up with for ANY problem that may arise.  

     Often times, when I share this revelation with others, they are in disbelief because they have operated under limitations for most of their lives.  Because of this they have become "programmed" to respond to problems in a systematical way, more times than not, creating a negative outcome.  It's natural to respond a certain way when that's the only way you know.  It is unnatural to resist what comes naturally, yet this is what is necessary in order operate efficiently and at a premiumThe number one cause of failure is fear.  If you're afraid to fail, then you fail anyways.  If you are willing to use your creativity and do things you have never done you will succeed even if you fail.  Your success is in the fact that you overcame fear, utilized creativity, and sought a solution.  Once you overcome fear, creativity becomes like an addiction or obsession because you will want to seek out solutions from every possible source all of the time.  You will no longer see limitations because you know anything is possible.  This will become your perception.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

The Next Challenge

     Today I started the P90X Extreme Home Fitness program and let me tell you something, it's a beast!  After an hour workout and many breaks in between, I'm worn out and sore.  Not a shocker since the last time I did a push up Duran-Duran had a top hit on Billboard.

     Man, I'm out of shape.  This whole thing has been long overdue.  I've known I was getting overweight ever since I popped a button on my pants two days in a row.  I knew I was fat when my underwear size increased.  I knew I was fat when I got winded trying to put my socks on.  It may sound funny, but when you start having trouble wiping your butt because your butt cheeks have expanded, then it's time to drop some weight.

     I chose the P90X because it looked like it would give the best results, plus, on the commercial there was a guy who's body shape looked like mine which inspired me to give the program a try.  P90X basically is about "muscle confusion" as  the workouts constantly change, not giving the muscles time to adapt or adjust to the constant exercising.

Day 1 P90X (245.3lbs)   
     Before I started it I told a lot of people what I was going to do and every single one of them said, "it's going to be difficult."  I could hear the doubt in their voices and honestly it served as motivation for me to do this program.  After I continued to hear doubts, I knew I was going to do this program.  I love challenges and quite honestly I was feeling as though I needed something to shake things up because as of late I've been unchallenged.  My sobriety continues on without any hitches and my understanding of the materials in my college classes is increasing which is allowing me to maintain a high GPA so I was beginning to feel stagnant.  I believe the P90X will not only serve as a way to get my body in shape but will also increase my drive and keep me sharp.

     Everything is good, now if I could just tie my shoes!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

To hold back or not to hold back, that is the question!

     I really love dealing with and interacting with real people.  People who aren't afraid to make mistakes.  People who can get back up when knocked down, who can tell it like it is with boldness and confidence.  I've got an instructor who has confidently proclaimed, "we may not like what she has to say, but she does not apologize for her opinions!"  That's gangsta!

     I've been known to speak my mind with clarity and I'm transparent about all areas of my life.  The way I see it is like this, if I've told my story, aired my laundry, dirty or not, I have diffused any weapon that can be used against me.  There's nothing left to gossip about after I've made every painful detail public.  Some people hate this about me but will never say it facing me.  That's weakness, fear.  I don't have time for people like that.

     While I'm categorizing people, I must say that I don't like the "bully mentality."  I remember being bullied when I was younger, up until high school.  I found out bullies are cowards and as soon as I stood my ground they scattered like a litter of newborn bitches.  Today, I can't stand to see someone being bullied and I will intervene even if I don't know either party.

     I've said this before but it's worth repeating for those who may have missed it or are just getting to know me, speak your mind when you're dealing with me.  If you don't like something I've said or done, tell me about it, I respect everyone's opinion.  If you want me to stay away from you, say it, your wish is my command.  As it is, I have to speculate what people think because they are afraid to be up front with their opinions concerning the way I carry myself and how I deal with others.  I am certain I have made some errors in judgment but I really can't be faulted when I only have limited information from which to formulate an opinion or make a decision on.