Conquering Fear

     I can't believe I'm still dealing with issues of fear.  Fear is a subtle enemy and has many faces like rationalization, cynicism, denial or a flippant attitude.  In my case, it was a bit of all those and then some.  I have a doctors appointment today to see if the pneumonia I was diagnosed with last week is healing properly.  The reason this is significant is because I don't go to see doctors.  I'm getting a little better, slowly, but I used to have to be near death before I would go to see a doctor.

     When I went to see my primary care physician last week it was because my son and wife had already been diagnosed with pneumonia and I was short of breath and wheezing like I smoked a carton of cigarettes in a day.  The doctor confirmed my suspicions but not before he questioned my extended absence from his office.  The last time I had been in to see him was in 2008 and at that time he said I had an "erratic heartbeat" and he wanted me to do some more testing.  I took the news like I had just heard a bad joke and never went back.

     It's no secret that a lot of men don't like to go to doctors.  I've heard many stories of men who've had serious ailments or injuries and tried to "fix" themselves before seeking medical attention.  Shoot, I dislocated my shoulder on a Saturday night and I first, "popped" my shoulder back into socket and then I went home.  I finally went to the hospital the next afternoon after I concluded the pain wasn't going to go away.  As soon as I arrived at the hospital, the first nurse I saw said loudly, "your shoulder's dislocated!"  I thought to myself, "duh," but I was in no position to be a wise ass.  They gave me a shot of Demorol in my butt and reset my arm properly.  The doctor was amazed that it took me nearly twenty-four hours to come in to be seen but then he shook his head and "tsked" because it was a common occurrence among many men.

      The real issue for me is my walk with Jesus Christ.  Having belief and faith in Jesus Christ truly frees you from the bondage of fear and worry.  As a matter of fact, it is a good indicator of how strong your faith is by the amount of fear you carry in your heart.  When you truly love and believe in Jesus Christ, you are able to release fear from your life.

     I've been walking with Christ for awhile now and I thought I had overcome fear on all fronts but I still hadn't because I was avoiding seeing a doctor.  Even now as I write this, I realize I'm going to have to confront this issue head on, so when I go to the doctor today I am going to ask him if I can get a full check up and everything that entails for a man of my age which will most likely include a prostate exam and a colonoscopy along with blood work and cardiograms and the such.  I talk like I know what to expect but I really don't.  I do know one thing, if I truly love Jesus like I say I do, then I don't have anything to fear because He is always with me!