Age Ain't Nuthin' But A Number!

     I was inspired to write this post from an article I saw on FaceBook concerning people who've reached success at a late age in life.  At age 42 I've come to realize that age isn't a barrier to achieving goals.  As a matter of fact, the older you are, the more life experience you gain and can utilize to your benefit.

     Case and point, I have a friend named Mrs. Betty who is a mature woman.  I won't tell her age because I am a gentleman, however I will tell you she is over 70.  She's such a character, she would proudly tell you her age as a badge of honor.  Anyways, she's been in college for over the last year and she is incredible.  She has near perfect attendance and a 3.90 GPA, that's awesome.

     I tell you all of this because I too am in college and everyday I see some of the poorest work ethic and hear some of the lamest excuses from people who are in their late teens, early twenties and thirties and are consistently late or absent and turn their work in late or not at all.  It's pathetic.  I have a class from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m. Monday thru Thursday.  There are a couple of people in that class that show up at 8:30, 8:40 everyday.  Really?  Why even bother to come if you're that late.  I hear so many excuses for tardiness and absence it's ridiculous.  Some of these people are consistently sick and if that's the issue then they should really see a doctor because when you're that young, you should have vitality.

      A lot of the problem is, they are just plain out LAZY!  Sorry to put it so bluntly, but it is what it is.  A lot of people believe they are entitled to things without working for them or by putting in minimal effort for maximum gain.  Life doesn't work that way.  You get out what you put in and a lot of people can't figure out why they are unhappy and miserable.  It's because they don't take responsibility for their own prosperity and they look to the things of this world as a measurement of what success is.  Then they expect someone else to hand it to them.  Oh, did I mention they are also self-centered and selfish?   I digress.

     My friend Mrs. Betty serves as inspiration to me because she never complains, she has excellent work ethic and she can get us the senior citizen discount when we go out for lunch.  She's over 70 and runs circles around people half her age and younger!

Cell Phone Etiquette: Part II

     This is an addition to a post I wrote nearly a year ago as recent events have caused me to rekindle this fire.  Yesterday a young lady asked me if she could use my phone as she had received an urgent message on her FaceBook.  I really don't like letting people use my phone, because of past experience with people abusing the privilege by carrying conversations for extended periods or dialing numbers in my phone book but it's been a long time since the last occurrence so I figured I would let her use it, plus she was cute.  Anyways, she proceeded to make her call and after a brief time she determined there was no emergency, all was well.  At this point, she should have concluded her conversation and returned my phone.  That didn't happen.  She began a new conversation over trivial matters and continued it for. . . wait for it. . . fifteen more minutes.  I would love to say, "that's not a big deal" and really it isn't in the grand scheme of things.  However, it is discourteous to assume that a person who has loaned you their phone, should stop what they are doing and wait for you to have a conversation that could take place later.  Not only that, there was no consideration as to what type of phone plan a person may have, so long conversations are ill-advised.  In this case, the phone I let her use had limited minutes, less than sixty, remaining.  I let her use it under the assumption she was in an emergency but it turned out to be nothing.  To add insult to injury, when she got off the phone she said, and I quote, "you didn't tell me what type of plan you had.  I hope I didn't use all of your minutes!" and then she walked away.  She effectively shifted the blame of her poor behavior onto me for not informing her of what kind of plan I had prior to her using my phone.  I was unaware that there was a rule stating you must tell a person what kind of phone plan you have before allowing someone to borrow your phone.

     In other cell phone news, I was in church this past Sunday and in my section alone, during services, I heard three phones ring, two directly behind me, and one a few rows further back.  I'm telling you people, if you can't leave your phone in your vehicle or at home for a few hours, you have an addiction.  An addiction will cause you to do things that you wouldn't normally do if you were in your right mind like bring a phone to church and allow it to ring while the pastor is sharing God's love with people that need it.  People need to take a look at their behavior, especially concerning the use of phones in public.  Everyday, I witness at least two people having loud conversations that are vulgar in content and should be kept private, if at all.  People should be aware of, and care about the image they are projecting when in public.

    I know I'm spitting in the wind with this one because today's society is extremely self-centered with little consideration for others.  I'll tell you this much, I'm getting close to letting go of my restraints and I may slap the color off of the next person who doesn't know how to conduct themselves in public and forces their boorish behavior on me!

What Do You Do When You Have No One To Depend On?

     I was pondering this question as a pastor was talking about the economic downfall over the last five years and how there have been many people who’ve lost everything they had from investments to homes and jobs.  I personally know people who are struggling for various reasons such as unemployment/underemployment, single parenting, depression, addiction and lack of motivation to name a few.  It’s fair to say that everyone experiences difficulties from time to time but it’s how you deal with adversity that determines the quality of life you have.

     I’ve witnessed a lot of people complain about their situation, blame others for their situation or completely fall apart from their situation or a combination of all of those.  It’s natural to respond in those ways and I’m guilty of some of those myself.  However, I came to realize that I was depending on myself, which was self-centered, which kept me from accomplishing anything.  When I was depending on myself I would go through all types of emotions like fear because I was always worried how I was going to provide for my family, how I was going to be “a man” and take care of my responsibilities.  Problems kept mounting on top of themselves and the feeling was sickening.

     I don’t deal with that today.  Why?  I trust Jesus Christ.  When a problem arises, when adversity strikes, I go straight to Jesus with it.  Really, I’m talking to Jesus before a problem arises and when one does, I have comfort because I believe His Word and…He has never failed nor let me fail.  I speak these words from my experiences.  I use to operate in my own power, which was fraught in fear and despair.  Before I came to Christ, my life plan was non-existent.  I had no future and my end was coming prematurely.  I tell you I won’t go back to that way of life but I feel bad for the people who one, deny Christ, and two, continue to struggle because they are operating in their own self-centered ways.  I see and hear people constantly complaining about their lack, about the hard things they are going through, about never getting a break all the while never giving praise for the things they do have.  This is part of the reason why they can’t get ahead, because they don’t give thanks and aren’t grateful for what they do have.  Instead they continue to live a life of entitlement often times living outside of their means.  They can’t get their priorities straight because their priorities are centered on their own needs and based on their own abilities.

     That is a terrible way to live, without Christ.  When things go wrong, there’s no one to turn to, only oneself.  Good luck with that!

Perception Is 9/10ths Of Everything

     As I was sitting in the doctor’s office the other day, perusing the health magazines on a nearby table, I was thinking about image and how it affects ones thinking.  I was thinking of how one’s appearance can inspire confidence or doubt, fear or comfort.  For example, would you feel better or more confident in your doctor’s abilities if he/she were fit and good looking?  If your doctor had “six-pack abs” and could break a board with their finely sculpted buttocks and looked like they just walked on the red carpet at the Academy Awards, would you be more likely to take their advice on healthy living than say, a doctor who had a “spare-tire” around the middle and wore a lot of elastic clothing because his waist size changes more times than a pro-athlete's decision to come out of retirement?

     I was thinking about this as my doctor, who happens to be a bit “pudgy,” was evaluating my physical condition.  Now, I have confidence in my doctor, if only because of his professional demeanor and multiple degrees hanging in his office.  If nothing else, I’m smart enough to know, I’m not a doctor, and I respect anyone who went through the rigorous process of becoming one.  If the doc believes I should do something for my health, I am no one to question his authority or ability and I take his advice with confidence.  Still, how much more enthusiastic would I be in following his advice if his body looked like “The Rock” Dwayne Johnson?

     My point is, people often make character judgments purely on outside perceptions without having any evidence of competency or ability.  I’m guilty of this to an extent.  However, I’ve learned enough lessons to know everything that glitters isn’t always gold and I’ve found many diamonds in the rough that other people have passed up because of their perception of imperfection.  Just because it looks good doesn't mean it's good for you.  On the other hand, if Janet Jackson told me to do some crunches I would probably risk a hernia to "tighten up!"

Conquering Fear

     I can't believe I'm still dealing with issues of fear.  Fear is a subtle enemy and has many faces like rationalization, cynicism, denial or a flippant attitude.  In my case, it was a bit of all those and then some.  I have a doctors appointment today to see if the pneumonia I was diagnosed with last week is healing properly.  The reason this is significant is because I don't go to see doctors.  I'm getting a little better, slowly, but I used to have to be near death before I would go to see a doctor.

     When I went to see my primary care physician last week it was because my son and wife had already been diagnosed with pneumonia and I was short of breath and wheezing like I smoked a carton of cigarettes in a day.  The doctor confirmed my suspicions but not before he questioned my extended absence from his office.  The last time I had been in to see him was in 2008 and at that time he said I had an "erratic heartbeat" and he wanted me to do some more testing.  I took the news like I had just heard a bad joke and never went back.

     It's no secret that a lot of men don't like to go to doctors.  I've heard many stories of men who've had serious ailments or injuries and tried to "fix" themselves before seeking medical attention.  Shoot, I dislocated my shoulder on a Saturday night and I first, "popped" my shoulder back into socket and then I went home.  I finally went to the hospital the next afternoon after I concluded the pain wasn't going to go away.  As soon as I arrived at the hospital, the first nurse I saw said loudly, "your shoulder's dislocated!"  I thought to myself, "duh," but I was in no position to be a wise ass.  They gave me a shot of Demorol in my butt and reset my arm properly.  The doctor was amazed that it took me nearly twenty-four hours to come in to be seen but then he shook his head and "tsked" because it was a common occurrence among many men.

      The real issue for me is my walk with Jesus Christ.  Having belief and faith in Jesus Christ truly frees you from the bondage of fear and worry.  As a matter of fact, it is a good indicator of how strong your faith is by the amount of fear you carry in your heart.  When you truly love and believe in Jesus Christ, you are able to release fear from your life.

     I've been walking with Christ for awhile now and I thought I had overcome fear on all fronts but I still hadn't because I was avoiding seeing a doctor.  Even now as I write this, I realize I'm going to have to confront this issue head on, so when I go to the doctor today I am going to ask him if I can get a full check up and everything that entails for a man of my age which will most likely include a prostate exam and a colonoscopy along with blood work and cardiograms and the such.  I talk like I know what to expect but I really don't.  I do know one thing, if I truly love Jesus like I say I do, then I don't have anything to fear because He is always with me!

Drug Free, Sober Living, Becomes Second Nature with Time

Me with my classmates at Collins College

     Coming to the end of three years of probation for a drug possession charge and having close to a year and a half of sobriety has again caused me to reflect on past events and future endeavors.  A friend of mine commented that "the real test begins" in reference to the end of my probation.

     I was thinking about when I was first placed on probation in '09 and I was going to mandated drug education classes.  My counselor asked me what I wanted to get out of the program and I told him flatly, "I'm only here because I have to be and when I get done with these classes, I'm going right back to my old lifestyle and drug use."  He wasn't impressed with my answer and moved on, but at that time I was serious about what I said.  After that, my probation was rocky.  I was continuously going to jail for probation violations for positive drug tests which ultimately extended my probation by another year.

     I finally got tired of myself.  I got tired of going to jail.  I got tired of being around other drug users who didn't care anything about me and only wanted to be around me for drugs.  I got tired of not accomplishing anything, especially when I knew I can do anything I want to and excel at it.  That's a gift I've had since as long as I can remember.  Music, sports, and academics came easily to me as I excelled in those areas with minimal effort.  Drug use came easy too. I excelled with proficiency at attaining drugs.  At the end of my addiction I had learned how to supply a three-hundred dollar a day habit for less than twenty dollars daily.

     Ultimately, this became part of the reason why I was able to stop using.  I could see that I was going to continue to use drugs until I died.  It was sad, pathetic.  I'm fortunate I have a family that endured during this time in my life.  Getting arrested in May of '08 was actually a blessing, an answer to my prayers of being able to stop using drugs because I couldn't quit using on my own.  I surely didn't like the process I had to go through but in retrospect there is no easy way to accomplish anything worthwhile whether it be losing weight, getting an education, breaking bad habits or addictions or in my case, all of those.

     With the help of the court-mandated classes, jail sanctions and most importantly, Jesus Christ, I was able to break the bondage of addiction after over twenty years of dominating my life.  During the last few months of classes I reminded my counselor and classmates of my original intentions of continuing drug use after I got off probation.  I shared with them that I didn't know that after I had a significant amount of time clean, I lost the craving all together for drugs.  That was a miracle.  Another reason why I know God is real.  He was able to take a situation that was terrible and turn it into something beautiful, life giving.  (Romans 8:28)

     It took some time, but I was able to overcome a powerful addiction and today I don't have any urge or inclination to use again.  I don't have any probation rules stopping me from using again.  I still live in a drug infested neighborhood.  I occasionally see some of the people I use to run with but none of that is a trigger to use again.  I am new in Christ and have shed the "old" me, becoming a whole new person!