Now I tell you I'm guilty of a hardened heart. It really is natural because I've operated in the natural for a very long time. Even today, I still operate in the natural, to an extent, because I'm still learning from The Word and still "seeing" areas in my life where there's disbelief. I've been walking in the flesh for so long that I'm sensitive to the things I see in the natural world, but it explicitly says in The Bible that we are to "walk by faith and not by sight". From my own experience I can tell you this is easier said than done. I've spent close to forty years looking at everything from a natural(my flesh) point of view. I am able to walk in faith. However, my flesh still wants to revert back to the natural. It's a constant battle but I'm slowly getting better at consistently walking in faith.
I think one of the reasons why I have trouble walking in faith is because my experience with the supernatural is limited. I'm not sensitive to it as I should because it's kind of scary, meaning, I lack understanding. When you can see things with your physical eyes, you can attach some logic to what you've seen and therefore have some comfort, reassurance that you are normal. That's because that is how you've operated since you were born. It's natural. Knowing and operating in the Spirit is different because you have to operate on beliefs you can't physically see. That's tough. It was hard for the disciples of Jesus to do it and they were able to see miracles with their eyes on a regular basis. They still had a hard time wrapping their minds around the reality of the supernatural and yet if we are able to walk in faith today, without physically being able to see Jesus, and the miracles he did, we are the beneficiaries of greater reward.
Man, that sounds great on paper, but it is understandable that people have trouble "walking in faith" and not by sight. It has been getting easier for me to walk by faith because I have tested The Word and have been rewarded accordingly. If I recall correctly, I believe I started realizing the supernatural/spiritual realm was real in the late 90's as my drug use started to progress. I started seeing, and not because I was high, unclean spirits upon other people. It was very subtle, but I would notice things about some of the people I was around, like the things they would say or believed in. I recall a time when this woman I had never met before was openly talking about raping another woman. Her boyfriend was right next to her, in agreement with her statements, and it was then that I looked at them and was able to see the unclean spirits upon them. I could tell there was something "not right" about them when I first met them, but after they spoke, it was clear.
As I immersed myself in the drug culture, I started seeing unclean spirits more and more. I could feel(through my spirit) that something supernatural was occurring around me, even though I couldn't see it. I continue to see unclean spirits, though I am no longer intentionally around them. The phenomenon, of seeing unclean spirits, is really discernment between right and wrong, good and evil. I believe we all have the ability to discern, however some people choose not to exercise it and that would be to their peril.
So, as I harden my heart, intentionally, toward the things of this world that are immoral, foul, and against God's will, my heart softens and is sensitive to the things God wants for me, and all of His children, which is ultimately to know and love Him and one another!
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