Computer blues, court dues and family views-nothing a good Christian can't handle!

Me before my Mac got mad!

     What a week, what a week.  Once again I've discovered new things about myself and I am thankful to know and love God.  I tell you, I really understand how non-believers get flustered so easily when things don't go their way.  I was near that point this week as my laptop had an issue and I found out how "attached" I am to this thing.

     First, I received the new operating system, Mac Lion, from a classmate.  When he showed me some of the cool things the new system did and told me it wasn't available to the public yet, I couldn't resist accepting it.  My flesh loves getting new stuff and being the first to have something.  I installed it as soon as I got it and was happy with it until I tried to use my AVID editing software.  As soon as I started it, my computer froze.  I didn't think anything of it, shut it down and restarted it.  It did it again however and I realized there was a problem.  I told my classmate who gave me the OS what happened and that I heard Lion isn't compatible with some software.  He apologized and attempted to restore my laptop to it's original settings but couldn't.  I then took my laptop to my campus tech support and left it with them for a day only to come back and find out they were clueless as to the problem and advised me to take my laptop to an Apple store.

Apple-Biltmore Fashion Plaza

     The Apple store is the most technologically advanced store I have ever been in.  There were Mac's everywhere.  Ipad's, Airbook's and Macbook Pro's on every table in the establishment.  The store was packed with all types of computer savvy customers and an equal amount of tech staff.  A tech approached me and asked if I had an appointment, which is required to get service for all devices, and I told him I did.  He looked up my name on what I presumed was an Ipad, confirmed my appointment, and told me someone would be with me shortly.  An hour later my computer was repaired and I was satisfied.  I can't speak highly enough about the staff at Apple and I would advise anyone with a Mac to go to their nearest Apple store for any issues.

Commissioner Bodow

     Next, is my monthly court appearance which was today.  Everything went well, as I haven't had any notable violations in nearly a year.  Commissioner Bodow did require I pay two hundred dollars per month or do twenty hours of community service before I see her again.  According to my math, that equals a total of twenty days of community service that I need to do from now until I expire off of probation in January.  I'm going to knock the majority of those days out during my two weeks off from college in August.

     Last, are my own personal trials with my wife.  She had an episode last week where she couldn't control the things that came out of her mouth and caused herself to have some issues with her mother, our neighbors, and me.  A whole lot of strife came out of that situation which could have been avoided had she the ability to control her tongue.

     During all of this I remained calm and at peace and that's because I love Jesus Christ and when these inconveniences arise I rely on Him to guide me through.  He has never failed me!

Christians aren't weak so please don't make me show you!

1 Corinthians 4:20-21  “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. ²¹ What do you prefer? Shall I come to you with a whip, or in love and with a gentle spirit?”

     That is some Hot Scripture.  "The kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power"  I'm certainly one who doesn't like to do a lot of talking.  I love the mantra, "I can show you better than I can tell you" because "talk" is cheap.  I'm not a Christian that just reads and hears The Word of God.  I'm living it.  I'm doing it.  I easily profess my love for Jesus Christ and as I do so I walk in love for all of my brothers and sisters in Christ.  That being said, I'm able to move in power, meaning I get results through my faith in God.

     You've got to be bold in your love for Jesus.  Look at it like this, if people that don't love Christ can be bold in their beliefs, and they are, then the least you can do is stand up for your love in Jesus Christ if that's true in your heart.  Everyday I'm surrounded by people who could care less about themselves much less some one else.  They are proud of their foul hearts, their tastes for demonology, wickedness, subtle evil.

Me actin tough!

    I tell you that I no longer walk around like foul things aren't happening.  As I've stated before, if you're around me, watch the things that you say and do because if you think it's your right to carry on any way you want to, then it's my right to let you know I don't subscribe to your beliefs.  If you want to curse around me I will be quick to point out how ignorant the use of foul language is and that people who aren't creative use words that only a three year old finds amusing.  If you want to carry on being foul, I will bring the whip.  Otherwise, carry yourself respectfully and I'll bring the gentle spirit! 

Checkin' in

     So, I've been a bit busy as of late with school and all but I've been thinking about all of you out there and I even prayed for you.

     First order of business, I've got a new video out on YOUTUBE about sobriety and recovery in Jesus.  www.youtube.com/watch?v=oC4XoSj4KV4.  This is my first "edited" video which is a big deal to me because I am actually able to apply what I've learned from my classes.  This is big for the old man(me) because I'm lucky if I can remember what I had for dinner last night much less how to create a picture-in-picture video or use Photoshop to make a title page.  I'm tellin' ya, there may be some hope for the old man after all.

     I tell you I couldn't wait 'til the weekend came so I could film a project and edit it and post it.  I'm really loving school.  It's a 180° turn from where I was before.  I mean I went from hangin' around thugs and prostitutes and smokin' like a broke Cadillac, to pullin' a 3.74 GPA and hangin' around college kids that are half my age.  I've also made some new Christian friends that inspire me daily and make me thankful for choosing to follow Jesus Christ.

     I think this week I'll focus this blog on recovery and about some of the great Christian brothers and sisters I've met recently.  I've got some HOT Scripture I want to share with you so look out for my blog next week!

Nothin' but happiness!

     It's another one of those days where I have nothing but joy and happiness.  I have more happy days than not, and that's by choice.  I'm telling you I'm blessed.  I feel great.  I'm have so much to be grateful for, and I am.  Nothing can bring me down because I've got the one thing that can't be destroyed.  That's my love for Jesus Christ.

     I go through drama like other people, but unlike most people I rise above it because I believe in and trust The Word of Jesus Christ.  That's hot.  That's powerful.  I am not better than anyone.  However, I walk above all adversity that comes in front of me.  That makes me fearless of anything.  I don't have fear because I truly trust God and rely on Him for everything.  For example, my relationship with my wife isn't the greatest.  We had some trust issues until I figured out that I don't have to be able to trust my wife to have a happy relationship with her.  I only have to trust God and His Word and my happiness and joy and peace are guaranteed.  That's hot.

     I had a choice to make, all of us do.  I can run through this life on my own power and deal with life on my terms or I can really surrender it to Jesus Christ who can actually make my life happen.  Well, for many years I controlled my own destiny and for many years I made many mistakes and paid terrible prices for those mistakes.  I was trapped in addiction, I lost a marriage and broke up a family and hurt my children and my parents.  I lost my self-respect and love for myself.  I wasted a lot of years doing nothing.  That was all because I was living life the way I wanted to and in my own power.  Spiritually, I was dead and my physical death wasn't far behind.

     Today, I'm not in bondage to anything except my love for Christ.  I would never go back to living the way I use to.  I have life now.  I can actually love others.  I'm a real friend to my friends and a good father to my children and a good husband to my wife.  All of this is because of Jesus Christ!  All Praise to God!!!

Responsible drinking

     What is the difference between a person that drinks alcohol responsibly and a person that doesn't?  I will give you some insight from my own personal experiences.  I believe one of the differences is, a person who drinks alcohol responsibly really knows when they've had enough.  That means being aware of your own body and how it reacts to alcohol.  It also means maintaining the ability to make good decisions while under the influence of alcohol.  Now here's an issue.  Some people don't make good decisions while they are sober and if that's your track record then consuming alcohol is not for you.

     Alcohol has been proven to remove your inhibitions, or, your ability to control yourself from doing things you normally wouldn't do if you weren't inebriated.  For me, that meant saying things that I would normally keep to myself like being critical of people or revealing truths at an inappropriate time or manner.  One time, at an after-work social event, my boss was telling off color jokes after which I decided I would share some jokes I knew about white people.  Well, needless to say, I was "let go" the following Monday with the excuse being "we don't need your services anymore".  Had I used better judgment I probably would've kept my job a bit longer.  Other times that I didn't use discretion and just said what I was thinking include, propositioning women, speaking out at family gatherings, and telling police officers what I really think about them.  None of those situations worked out well.

     People that drink responsibly don't drink and drive.  It seems like a no-brainer but for some reason a lot of people believe they can drive while under the influence of alcohol.  Some people even think they can drive better because they are more alert to the dangers of driving.  I know from experience, two DUI's, and one serious accident, that my reflexes and reaction times are reduced from just one 12 oz. can of beer, and let me tell you, I use to always drink more than a 12 oz can of beer.  A responsible person doesn't risk driving at all.

     If drinking alters your behavior in a negative way, don't drink.
     If drinking causes you to say things that are better kept quiet, don't drink.
     If drinking causes you to do things that you normally wouldn't do while sober like having sex with strangers, don't drink.  Don't fight while under the influence.  Don't decide to get married while under the influence.  Don't talk about politics or religion while under the influence.

     Most importantly, don't drink if you're not responsible!!

Girls "saggin" + me in "skinny jeans"= SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN!

     O.k.  I'm happy to be aging gracefully and as I do so I can't help but notice some things that I'm thankful weren't part of my generation.  I'll start off with "skinny" jeans.  I'm 6'2" 235 pounds.  There's nothing "skinny" on me.  Even if I could fit in a pair of skinny jeans, which I can't, I wouldn't do it.  Maybe it's just me but skinny jeans don't look good on men.  I have yet to see some dude wearing skinny jeans and thinking, "that looks fly, I think I'll get me a pair".  It ain't happenin'.

     As the temperatures climb to the 110's out here, more and more people are wearing less and less clothing.  That's fine.  What's not fine are those individuals whose stomachs fall over their waist lines and hang there like a group of homies at the liquor store.  If your stomach sticks out further than your booty does, please keep it covered!  This being said, my stomach has been compared to a woman in her third trimester of pregnancy.  I know this already.  I don't need anyone pointing this out.  Be nice.  Anyways, I am considerate of other people and I don't walk around without a shirt that doesn't fit.  Why should I torture you with the site of my flabby belly?  My wife is the only one who has to look at that mess which is fitting since she caused it!

     Last, "sagging".  This style of wearing pants hanging half off of your butt is ridiculous.  I've heard this style originated in the prison system where men would wear their pants exposing their butt so other inmates would know that they were "available" for sex.  That story in itself should be a deterrent from wearing pant's like that.  Anyways, it looks bad and it's not for me.  You know who else it's not for?  Girls!  It's bad enough that young men wear this style but I've seen teenage girls sportin' the look and it looks terrible.  I saw a young lady saggin' yesterday and I had to take a picture of it.  Not only was she saggin, but she had holes in her underwear.  That was a sight that caused this blog to be written today.  I just shook my head and laughed to myself at the spectacle.

     I guess I can't say anything.  It'll be no time before I'm wearing my pants buckled "above" my stomach with black socks and crocs!  Lord help me!

Got God?

Pastor Brian Anderson

     Made it to church today.  Missed last week and I couldn't wait for this week because I really look forward to being there.  I tell you that when I enter the sanctuary at the Vineyard I feel great.  Every one is smiling, which is a big deal to me, my kids are happy and it's just good to be there.  It's amazing how much of a better attitude you'll have when you're around a lot of people that are happy and smiling.

     I hadn't given it a lot of thought but I spend a lot of time with strangers and most of them don't look happy.  Most of them don't smile a lot and often times every other word coming out of their mouth is foul.  If they're not cursing, their conversation is usually perverted or foul.  Being around that kind of atmosphere is not spiritually healthy.  Even the strongest Christian will feel the pull of the world if they are subject to it more than they are The Word.  That's why I stay in The Word.  I usually start my mornings watching Pastor Murray and Creflo Dollar and Andrew Wommack, in that order.  During their sermons, I'm following along in my Bible.  Then I read my email where I get daily Scripture, verses for the day and uplifting words from Dr. Charles Stanley.  Then I go to Facebook and look at what my Christian friends have posted which is always something positive to start the day off.  That's awesome.  Then, as I'm walking to the bus, I give praise to God for all He's done.  I pray for my family and friends and ask for His guidance and assistance in my day.

     When I arrive at school I feel great and my classmates can attest to the fact that I'm a positive person that loves to give encouragement to others.  I'm ready to start off the new week.  If anyone needs anything that I can give, let me know!

2011 Dust storm of the year!

     O.k.  Last night, around 8pm, I was leaving class when I looked south of the building and saw the biggest, darkest cloud I've ever seen on the ground.  It was so big that I instantly thought of that scene in Independence Day when those ships were entering into Earths atmosphere in those ominous looking clouds.  It was a daunting sight.  The official size of the cloud was fifty miles wide and 10000 feet high.  Damn that's big.  I'm thinking to myself, I've got to get home before that thing reaches my house.

    I live about a quarter mile away from my classes so it wasn't that far to walk but I kept looking behind me trying to gauge if I was going to make it or not.  As it turned out, right as I hit my driveway, the storm hit me.  My kids were outside playing and my wife was yakking with neighbors completely oblivious to the oncoming storm.  That goes to show you how occupied she gets talking.  I tell you, I've seen her go thirty minutes straight, talking, without taking a breath.  I'm serious, I timed it.  Anyways, I brought everyone in and closed up my windows and watched this thing descend upon us.  There was wind and dust everywhere.  Tree branches were snapping all over the place.

     When it was over, approximately two hours later, I stepped outside to look around.  There was a layer of dirt on everything, sidewalks, cars, cats, dirt, air, it was on everything.  I've been in Arizona since '99 and I've never seen a storm this size.  These storms cause a malady called "Valley Fever" which is nearly identical to pneumonia, so you really don't want to be caught outside when these things hit.  Thank The Lord he provides me shelter and all of my other needs.  Going through storms in life is a natural thing but having God on your side is what gets you through them "intact"!

I’ve got to love unconditionally, for my well being!

     

Me and my mama

     There’s no other way I can operate “happily” in this lifetime if it’s not under unconditional love.  I can’t achieve peace and well being if I’m not walking in unconditional love for others.  This concept seems radical, with a touch of impossibility added to it but it is achievable.

     Let me cut to the chase and tell you all how I arrived to this conclusion.  I’ve been through some very trying times with my wife.  Let’s see, we’ve been homeless, both of us have been adulterers, I was addicted to drugs for many years before I met her and well through our marriage, she’s been violent and she has some mental health issues that contribute to her compulsive lying.  The details to some of these events are so devastating that any rational person would have pursued a divorce.  As a matter of fact, at one point my wife filed the papers but didn’t follow through.  We’ve got some major issues to deal with in our relationship including my addiction and trust on both of our parts.  I will tell you that it has not been an easy road.  There have been times when I just wanted to walk away from her.  I wanted to give up.  That’s not going to happen though.  I’ve found a way to overcome adversity, and yes, it’s through Jesus Christ.

     There is no other way I could have ever forgiven her for having an affair with someone that is really close to me.  It’s not humanly possible to forgive her for the things she’s said that were insulting and demeaning about my family, our children, and me.  Most men would not have tolerated all of the physical abuse I took from her.  This is what separates me from most men.  I love Jesus Christ and I trust Him and His Word.  When I wanted to do things my way, He showed me how I should handle “all” the situations in front of me.  How did He do it?  Through His Word.  How did He get it across to me? In a whole bunch of creative and unexpected ways.  For example, after I got out of jail for an extended period of time, my wife lays the bombshell on me that she slept with someone close to me.  I was devastated.  I was angry.  I was pissed.  I was hurt.  I didn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore.  I was tired of her act and at the cost of my family, I was ready to call it quits.  Then, a couple of days after she told me that, I was reading some “random” Scriptures when I came across 1 Peter 4:12 which put in perspective the things I was going through.  Then, the same day, I was watching Creflo Dollar I believe, and he was talking about relationships and the things we go through.  For the rest of the day I prayed, and meditated on The Word and I that’s when I found peace.  I was able to forgive her but more importantly I was able to move forward, in love, in my life.  That’s huge.  I could not have done any of that in my own power.  No one can.

     

     So, fast-forward to yesterday.  I had to deal with an unpleasant, disrespectful situation with my oldest son.  It wasn’t that big of a deal but it was disrespectful and he and I are not on the best of terms anyways.  The situation bothered me for the better part of the day until I had a revelation concerning unconditional love.  Unconditional love doesn’t just apply to a “specific” situation.  It applies to everything.  You can’t say you have unconditional love for one person and then get angry and hate another person.  If you are truly walking in love, you are able to love everyone, including your enemies.  That’s unconditional love.  The ability to love those when the situation isn’t pretty.  I love my son and I pray we can become closer.  I will never turn my back on him as our Father will never turn His back on us.

     Ultimately, because of my ability to love unconditionally, I’ve been able to overcome serious adversity.  I couldn’t do any of that in my natural state.  I have to rely on God for His Grace that I may be able to extend that to others.  In the end, I am the one who truly benefits from unconditional love!

Probation is winding down

Commissioner Bodow

     I went to court today and it went well.  I was in front of a new Commissioner, Commissioner Bodow and she was interesting.  She was very personable, almost fun to be around.  She was no pushover however and more than a few people found that out today.  She was handing out days in jail like Halloween candy.  Fortunately for me, she liked my progress and the fact that I haven't had any serious violations since August 2010.  She lightened my sentence a bit so now I don't have to test for alcohol anymore.  That's a relief for me because I was testing for drugs and alcohol almost every day of the week and it was a bit of a hassle making that trip across town.

     Anyways, I'm happy with my probation overall and in six months I will be done with it forever.  I've grown quite a bit.  I've recovered from a twenty-three year addiction.  I've strengthened my faith and my walk with God.  I'm in my sophomore year of college.  My family is strong and healthy.  What more can I ask for?  I'm thankful to Jesus for getting my attention and showing me a better way to live my life.  Thank you Jesus!