Healthy relationships

     I don't usually offer my opinion on relationships, especially considering how many I've fouled up, but today I will give some insight as more than a few people around me seem to be struggling in this area.

     I purposely am not using any names and the situations I'm using are hypothetical, so don't go assuming I'm talking about you in particular if you're reading this.  Relax.  That's probably part of your problems in the first place, you can't relax.  Chill!

     Anyways, I believe we were all created with an equal mate, of the opposite sex, made specifically for us.  Finding that person seems to be the trick.  However, I believe that specific person is closer than you may think.  The first steps in finding that person require you to find YOURSELF FIRST!  It is not humanly possible to find happiness and love with another person if you haven't found those things in yourself.

     As you find out who you are, it's okay to find out who other people are, just realize they are as weak and frail and strong and hard as you are.  Now that being said, let's get started.

Hypothetical situation:  I love person A.  Person A loves me too, just not in the same way as I love them.  This is troubling.  I do a lot of things to make person A feel comfortable, loved and wanted, but person A is not responding in the way I want person A to respond.  Now, person A doesn't want to be in the kind of relationship that I want to be in and we go no further.  I'm devastated and I'm still holding out hope of a reconciliation with person A though person A has moved forward.

     Now, as I see it, with all of my wonderful experience, it's like this, we all deserve to be loved by someone else equally, if not more, than the love we are showing them.  Not only that, but there is someone out there, for us, that can actually do that.  If you're in a relationship and the person is not responding in a way that is acceptable to you, you must tell that person what is troubling you.  This gives the person an opportunity to explain themselves and respond to you.  If their response isn't satisfactory, then YOU need decide if you can accept them as they are.  DO NOT throw gas on the fire and hope to put it out, meaning, don't continue in your same pattern, in the relationship, hoping this person will eventually "come around".  You can't make anyone "come around" no matter how much love you heap upon them, anger you hurl at them, or tears you drown them with.  If a person has decided not to love you or is not capable to do so, it's okay.  This person wasn't THE ONE.  It happens.  Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, wish that person only the best, and start giving yourself the best!