Wishing You All A Happy New Years!

     The year is coming to an end and 2012 about to begin.  Some of us are getting ready for a new start while others are continuing on in their endeavors.  Whatever it is that you are going to be doing, do it to the fullest.  There's no reason to settle for mediocrity when each of us is individually talented and possess unique abilities.  Don't sell yourself short.  Do something you've never done before.  Look outside of yourself and show compassion for others.  I have no resolutions, only resolve, to be able to receive all the blessings that are waiting for me and to be a blessing to others.  Let's step into the New Year together in love and prosperity giving praise and thanks for all that we receive!

Here's a couple of things I do to maintain my sobriety.

     Coming to the end of the year and the end of my probation has caused me to reflect on where I'm at today.  This last year has been blessed, again, and I am very thankful for all that I have.  God has been very good to the Mason family and to me in particular.

     So, most of you know my story of twenty plus years of addiction to drugs.  I've currently got over 16 months of sobriety from cocaine and while that may not seem like a long time to some, it is a lifetime to me as I was using a large amount of drugs everyday, for many years.

     How am I able to have sobriety?  It didn't happen in my own power.  I couldn't stop using even when I wanted to.  I quit using so many times that I quit quitting.  Finally, I got arrested.  Some of you may think that was an inevitability, but that is not the case.  I know it to be Divine Intervention.  There are many drug users who have never been arrested before, but they are also not living.  That's the inevitability.  Thankfully, God had other plans for my life because my plans were leading to my premature death.

     Today, I live life free from ANY bondage.  My sobriety is a by-product of my love for Jesus Christ.  I've consciously made a decision to follow Him and be guided by Him.  Do you know where He has led me?  Out of addiction and into life.  Everywhere I go, Jesus is with me.  He's here as I write this.  He goes to school with me.  He goes to all the meetings I go to, which by the way, I don't have to go to but I do anyways because when I get there, Jesus is there.  How do I know He's there?  Because when I get there, I'm happy to be there.  I have a gladness in my heart when I arrive, everywhere I go, even jail, and I'm smart enough to know that is the supernatural Anointing that allows me to have joy wherever I go.

     Now to give you what you came here for.  How I maintain my sobriety.  First, I stay close to Jesus Christ by watching a lot of Christian programming like Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyer, Andrew Wommack, Dr. Charles Stanley to name a few.  I also read Scripture and daily devotionals and I am constantly giving praise and thanks for all God is doing in my life.  Second, I go to meetings.  I go to meetings without expectations.  Do you know that sometimes your presence at a meeting isn't so you can get something out of it, but rather so someone can get inspiration from you.  Third, I have tested this old saying and know that it is truth:  If you want something different, you've got to do something different!  In my case, I went back to college, which, not by coincidence, I've been at for 15 months which is approximately the same amount of time I have sober.

     There are other things I've done also, but those three are the ones that have made the difference in my life.  If you want sobriety, you can have it!

Call Me Mr. Mason Please!

     As I get older and more crotchety I'm finding that I like less and less how younger generations are coming about.  In particular, I have an issue with children addressing adults by their first name.  I was raised by my parents, relatives, teachers and other adults to address adults as Sir or Ma'am or Mr. or Mrs. but to never call an adult by their first name.  Calling an adult by their first name implies familiarity and a level of equality with them that a child does not possess.

      I'm amazed at how many people under 18 address adults by their first name.  I also don't address people I barely know by their first name.  Again, addressing someone by their first name implies familiarity which is something you don't gain in five minutes of meeting them.

      This whole thing starts with parents.  It's a parents responsibility to teach their children proper conduct in the presence of adults.  Parents do their children a disservice by allowing their children to carry themselves any kind of way with no guidance or correction.  When the child turns into an adult and has to operate in an adult system he will struggle in social settings simply because no one corrected him as a child.  I see evidence of this everyday with teenagers and twenty-somethings constantly cursing in public settings like they don't know any other word than "eff" this and so and so.  My mother would have slapped the black off of me if she heard me curse.  Even to this day I rarely curse and when I do it's under my breath and far away from my mother.

     So, as an adult, we have a responsibility to the younger generations to carry ourselves in a manner that is respectful and authoritative.  I treat everyone I meet with an automatic respect because unless they prove otherwise they deserve to be treated with respect.  If you know me, call me G.  If you don't, Mr. Mason is fine!

A Glimpse of Prison, A Glimpse of Death, Gave Me Life

     Last Friday was the last day I had to appear in front of a judge for probation I have been on since 2008.  Wednesday was the last court-mandated substance abuse class I had to attend.  I cannot properly express how happy I am to be finished with this chapter in my life.  All said and done, I am a better man today than I was three years ago.  Heck, I'm a better man today than I was twenty-five years ago and that's really where this story begins.

     Back in the mid '80's I began experimenting with drugs, marijuana at first, which turned into a full blown addiction to cocaine after many years of casual use and constant partying.  I lost many things, including my mind, friends, family trust, a marriage, many jobs, cars, a home,  hundreds of thousands of dollars, my self-respect and my will to live.  Man, I was pathetic, living nowhere near the potential I had of being successful and prosperous.

     After leaving a company I had been with for eight years, my marriage fell apart and my ex-wife took our children with her to Arizona after which my parents followed them to be with the grand-kids.  I stayed in Nevada and spiraled downward into a nearly inescapable pit of despair and misery fueled by self-pity, self-loathing, drugs and alcohol.  It was bad.  I didn't care about anything.  I was doing all types of despicable things, runnin' with thugs, buying/selling dope, prostitution.  My father suggested I move out to Arizona and get a fresh start and I finally took his advice but only after I had burned some bridges in Nevada and felt my life was at risk.  I came out to AZ in August of '99 and quickly picked up where I left off at in Nevada.  Thing was, Phoenix is way bigger and faster than Reno, and I got sucked up in the drug culture quickly and deeply.  There is dope everywhere out here.  It is so prevalent here that I've purchased and used drugs with senior citizens.  I was hanging in all of the worst, drug infested neighborhoods in Phoenix.  I was runnin' with dealers and killers, pimps, prostitutes and thieves.  I've been robbed twice by gun and once by knife, walking away from all of those situations with my life but my life was getting worse.  My drugs use escalated and topped out at over $300 a day.

     During this time I met a woman who didn't use drugs and wasn't a part of the culture and we dated for two years and then married and had two boys.  We have been through a lot together, including homelessness, jail, infidelity, and my addiction.  Everything came to a head when on May 1st, 2008, I was arrested for possession/paraphernalia, and charged with a class 6 undesignated felony with a sentence of two years in prison.  Because it was my first felony, I was given probation instead and required to go through a rigorous system of classes, daily urinary exams and monthly meetings with probation officers and judges.  It took awhile for me to be able to let go of my old self.  I couldn't do it on my own.  I tried, it didn't work.  I renewed my relationship with Jesus Christ and my life surely changed for the better.

     Long story short, today I have nearly a year and a half of sobriety.  I'm in my sophomore year of college.  My family is doing well and we are prosperous and only getting more so.
I've been through a lot.  More than many, less than most.  I'm thankful I have a Father that loves me so much, He never gave up on me and gave me a way to overcome my fears and worries and bondage to addiction through Jesus Christ.  Now on to the next chapter!

Tattoos. Thanks for the warning!

     While looking for images for this post I had a revelation concerning tattoos and people in Arizona.  Everywhere I look there are people with tattoos.  In Arizona, I see a disproportionately large amount of people with demonic tattoos.  I thought maybe it was a fashion trend or something.  But while looking at pictures of tats from people around the world I saw a wide variety of tats and I had to actually seek demonic tattoos to find them.  That brought me to the conclusion that the demonic tattoo has a large following particular to Arizona, hence the topic of this post.

     For the record, I don't have any tattoos.  I don't have anything against people that do.  I just don't have any.  I'd considered getting some awhile ago, but at 42 I believe I'm past the age for getting a tat.  There's just some things that, if you haven't experienced them by a certain age, you've just missed the boat and tattoos are one those things.

     Anyways, I often see people out here with demonic images tattooed on their bodies.  I think to myself, "what would possess a person to have a grotesque, demonic image permanently printed on their body?"  This question perplexed me for a long time until I had another revelation which was, these tattoos serve as a warning about the character of the person with the tattoo.  Please let me clarify my position before you people start throwing up your arms and have conniptions.

     Getting a tattoo usually requires a conscious decision to receive an image printed onto skin by needle point.  I've heard many stories of people getting intoxicated or being under the influence of drugs before getting a tat, but that doesn't let them off the hook for their choices.  Anyways, most people take time to look at images or draw their own images to be tatted on them.  This being said, it is safe to say that a person who has chosen to get a tattoo of a demonic image isn't concerned about following Jesus Christ.  Most of the people that I've seen with these types of tattoos have curses coming out of their mouths and have no happiness or joy about them.  Now don't go get all bent out of shape by what I've just said.  These are only my observations, my opinions.  I'm not casting judgments, I'm only stating what I've noticed.

     Quick story:  One time I was in jail and one of my cellmates was covered in demonic tattoos.  He was quiet but when he did speak, he spoke with intelligence and purpose.  I asked him what were the names of the demons he had tatted on him and he abruptly told me, "don't worry about their names!"  I won't go into details, in this post, about the power of words, but I know the reason why he wouldn't tell me their names.  It was because there is power in knowing a name whether it be in invoking it or casting it out.  He assumed that I had an ulterior motive to my question and he effectively ended the conversation.  There's more to the story like, before he became my cellmate I had seen him around the yard weeks prior.  I was already amazed by the amount of inmates who outwardly or ignorantly worshiped satan, and when I first saw him I could feel, instinctively, hate coming from him.   I made a comment to one of my cellmates that I was glad we didn't have "that guy" as a cellmate.  Do you know that it was less than twenty-four hours later he was transferred to our cell.  Coincidence?  I drew closer to God while I was incarcerated, going to church services almost everyday and reading Scripture.  The more I drew closer to God, the more I noticed the evil nature among the majority of inmates and Sheriffs.  It was an unsettling experience. 

     The next time you see a person with demonic tattoos, take a moment and listen to what they are talking about.  As a matter of fact, do that with everyone you interact with.  If you actually listen to what people are saying you will learn a lot about their character!

The Supernatural

Not my actual car.  Mine was worse(front end torn off completely)

     So many people have problems with Christianity and believing that Jesus Christ can do anything for their lives that I am constantly amazed and often saddened by their actions and comments.  Every single day I see people living an existence without knowing Jesus and I think to myself how much better their lives could be if they opened themselves up to Him.  I do have sympathy for them and I pray for my lost brothers and sisters.

     For me, it's a no-brainer.  Jesus Christ is real, he has power over death, and he loves his children.  Why am I so adamant about my beliefs?  Good question.  I've had too many supernatural events occur in my life for me to deny there is a God and in particular, Jesus Christ.  By supernatural I mean things that don't occur naturally.  Like the time I had been drinking an excessive amount of alcohol.  I started the day by drinking two 40oz. bottles of 211 malt liquor, then I went to a DiamondBacks baseball game and drank four 32oz beers (spilling one on the lady in front of me) and then deciding that I was good enough to drive home.  My wife, one of my children, and a friend of mine were with me.  My wife could have driven as she doesn't drink but I insisted I drive.  Long story short, on the way home I got into a serious collision where I hit another vehicle, tearing the front end off of my car and significantly damaging the other vehicle.  This is where the supernatural events occurred.  First, everyone involved in the accident only received minor injuries.  My five year old daughter got a bloody nose from hitting the dashboard as I allowed her to sit in the front seat with my wife with no child restraint.  My wife had a fractured wrist, my friend had some bruises and I had a dislocated big toe.  The other driver had no injuries.  If you'd seen my car you would have been amazed that we walked away at all.  Next, the other driver was at fault for the accident and was cited.  However, since I had been drinking, I received an aggravated DUI and went to jail that night.  I later went to court where the prosecuting attorney wanted me to go to prison for three years, jail for two years and be on probation for one year.  I couldn't afford an attorney, at over $10,000 dollars, so I chose to be represented by a public defender who was overworked and doing my case for free.  The case ended up being dismissed because the presiding judge believed the police violated my rights by questioning me without my understanding the Miranda rights.
    
     My wife and I attended a church in Prescott and after the services the pastor approached my wife and told her The Lord put on his heart to give two families $500 a piece after which he handed my wife the money.  A local agency paid over $600 dollars toward my electric bill which lasted from February until October.  I overcame an intense addiction to cocaine after 23 years of use.  I'm currently in college with a GPA of 3.42.  My family is healthy, I'm healthy and all of our needs are met including our housing, clothing and food and neither my wife nor I have worked (not from the lack of looking) since '08.  There is nothing natural in our ability to provide for our family and that's because we trust Jesus Christ.  He tells us not to worry about our day-to-day existence because one, worrying will not add one day to your life and two, let the day worry about itself.

      There is no way you will ever know if what I'm saying will work for you unless you try for yourself.  Walking around in your own power is unsatisfying and will never bring lasting happiness but you've got to find out for yourself.

The uncertainty of it all

     Sitting in court yesterday caused me to reflect on the reasons why I don't like being in court.  Beyond the obvious reasons like fear of incarceration, embarrassment and shame, I believe it's the uncertainty of the outcome that is the most unsettling aspect of appearing in court.

     I'm on probation for a possession charge I received in May of '08.  Part of my probation terms is that I appear in court once a month for review to make sure I'm following all the rules of probation.  Following all the rules and requirements of probation should be a guarantee of no further incarceration and it is for the most part.  I guess the issue I have is I've made it through most of my probation with relative little incarceration time.  I haven't followed all of the requirements such as paying my fees which are in excess of three thousand dollars.  I also haven't done all of my community service so when I go to court I'm always expecting to go to jail.  Sometimes it happens but more times than not, it doesn't. 

     That's where the uncertainty comes to play.  The judge makes her decisions on a case by case basis with no rhyme or reason.  Sometimes she follows protocol and makes her judgement strictly by the terms set by probation.  Other times she overlooks items and gives defendants alternatives to jail or no punishment at all.  I've also witnessed defendants do everything they are required to do and yet they still had consequences because of some unknown term or unspecified amount of money unpaid was discovered.  It's because of this way of handling her cases that's leads to uncertainty.

     I don't want to appear as though I'm pessimistic, however when I go to court I expect to go to jail.  When I don't it's a victory, when I do it's not a surprise!

Can you tell a Christian by looking at him?

     I was at the local Walmart shopping and I was looking at people as they went by and I was imagining what their lives were like purely on their appearances.  I saw a woman in her forties, dressed conservatively, short haircut, smile on her face, I thought to myself, "she's Christian or Mormon."  I chuckled to myself because I know there is no way to tell about a person just on outward appearances.  However, most people are guilty of doing this as it is natural to judge a person on first impression.

     I'm guilty of this and I'm also a victim of this.  I remember one time I was at a friends house and he had some guests arrive who happened to have shaved heads.  I automatically assumed they were Aryan nation "skin heads."  I was right about that but I had also assumed that they didn't like African Americans or any race that wasn't white.  I was wrong about that one as these skin head gentlemen were quite hospitable.  We drank beers and conversed for hours about sports, women and life.  I learned a lesson, again, about judging a book by its cover and I vowed at that point not to do it again, but I tell you it is a hard habit to break, not judging others on appearances alone.

     I recall another time I was at a Christmas party and I was the only African American present.  I was sitting in the dining area with a group of people when they decided they were going to go to the family room for entertainment.  I decided to stay in the dining room and enjoy the peace when a woman came back into the room and grabbed her purse and clutched it her chest and looked at me crazy and huffed out of the room.  I frowned to myself and shook my head.  I could've been offended by the implication that I was going to steal her purse but I let it go.  She doesn't know me and to assume I was going to steal her purse was sad.  I can't imagine living a life of fear of strangers or of anything for that fact.

     Another time I was sitting in a parked car at a grocery store when a Caucasian woman parked next to me.  Her passenger got out and went into the store but she stayed behind.  She looked over at me and quickly locked her door.  I was flabbergasted.  I locked my door in return and looked at her crazy.  I believe I was in danger more than she was.

     To be honest, I've never struggled too much with judging others or making assumptions without facts.  As a matter of fact I'm pretty open when it comes to meeting and socializing with others without preconceived notions.  I have a wide variety of acquaintances.  I believe most people are good until proven otherwise.  I listen to people talk after which I'm able to establish where their heart lays.  If you listen carefully to what people say they will tell you a lot about themselves.  Don't be quick to judge by appearances or else you could miss out on a wonderful relationship!

What do you really know about me?

     Setting the record straight with complete transparency is my goal with this post.  I thought it necessary as it appears as though people around me have been shocked and or hurt by my words, comments and actions.

     Let's start off with words that describe me.  Taskmaster, disciplinarian, perfectionist, rebellious, anti-social, judgmental, no-joke, sensitive, loving, humorous, skeptical, daring, intelligent, fast, slow, undefinable.  That's just a few to start with.  I am known for giving encouragement to others, carefully choosing my words, and possessing the ability, and using it, to communicate effectively.  What some people might not know is, I bite my tongue a lot in an effort to spare people pain and hurt.  Words are powerful and if I were to speak all that is on my mind I would quite possibly damage people significantly.  As it is now, I feel like I don't say enough, but even the little that I do say has caused some temporary pains amongst people around me.

      Without me saying anything, I don't believe it is hard to figure out where I'm coming from or how I operate.  I'm pretty simple, I stick to a routine and I'm transparent about all that I do.  I believe that I am so transparent that people have trouble believing what they are seeing and hearing.  Quite often I've seen the look of disbelief upon the faces of colleagues after I've spoken.  Truth be told, which it is, I only speak in truths and facts which can be painful for some but inspiring to others.  I decided a long time ago that I wasn't going to be a people pleaser and people could take or leave me as they saw fit.  As it is, I don't have a large circle of friends which is okay.  My wife is extraordinary in the fact that she has to live with me and deal with my persona continuously.  People really should be thankful to her because if I didn't have her to vent on, there would be a lot of mentally and physically destroyed people whimpering in a fetal position.  I digress.

     I'm not a hard guy.  I do carry myself in a certain manner and I do have expectations for myself and others that are around me.  I am creative and spontaneous and when an obstacle presents itself, I am able to get around it with fluidity.  I don't do well with limitations and I can't stand to see my friends hindered by limitations.  People say they've got problems, well I've got solutions.

     I don't say anything I don't mean and I don't like repeating myself nor do I like being taken for as a joke.  I will give anything I have if I'm able to and I will always listen to anyone who wants to talk.  All I ask for is for people not to come at me with any kind of bull$#!+ because I will be quick to remind you of who you are talking to!

I've got to "keep it real" with my recovery

     I haven't lost focus on my sobriety and I continue in it everyday. Over the last year and a half I've made great changes in my life including breaking the bondage cocaine had over my life for twenty-plus years. However, I struggled with the precept that I had to let go of ALL substances. I can rationalize all day how twenty-four ounces of beer everyday isn't going to kill me or cause issues. I can point out that I'm not violent nor do I drive, that I have a 3.44 GPA in college, and that I'm liked by most people I know. But in my heart I know I have to let this go. No matter how harmless I may think it is, I still made a poor decision to use it knowing full well that I'm not supposed to drink because I'm on probation and there are consequences. Anytime a person knowingly goes against truth or law, that is an indicator there is a problem.

     I've been disappointed in myself for awhile now because I know what I'm supposed to be doing and yet I was choosing not to do it and justifying my behavior with the notion that I'm grown and can do what I want to do. A true indicator of a person reaching and acting as an adult is being able to deny oneself and make difficult decisions for truth and right, not rationalizing a behavior in order to please self. Thank you all for listening. I'm really talking to myself but I am transparent and I am not ashamed or afraid to share my thoughts, failures and successes with anyone, especially people I consider friends!

Sobriety Tip # 599

     Beware of complacency!  I believe I've touched on this before but as I continue my recovery I fall into complacency at times so for a reminder I will look at it again.

     This last year has been incredible.  My life has been going extremely well, being sober, success in college, strong in faith, family prospering and growing.  This causes me to be cautious because I don't want to forget where I came from, what I've been through.  It's very possible to lose your sobriety when you lose focus of goals and dreams so, as a person recovering, it is important to be aggressive toward your sobriety.  Do whatever it takes to keep your sobriety in the forefront.  Incorporate your recovery into your daily activities.  Personally, I'm subscribed to several sites that are dedicated to sobriety, I attend different meetings, when possible, throughout the week, and I try to create dialogue and video concerning recovery as often as possible.  Even doing all of this, I still feel as though I'm not doing enough toward my recovery so I look for other ways to stay on top of my recovery.

     Most importantly, don't let your recovery fall to the wayside.  Be diligent in your efforts and keep your sobriety "fresh!"

Gettin’ My Needs Met

     A lot of strife that comes my way is due to self-centered thinking.  Seriously, when I’m thinking about what I need and then try to get it in my own power, I always come across opposition.  Most of my opposition comes in the form of other people not cooperating with my program.  I don’t believe I ask for much, but it’s become painfully apparent that the things I do ask for from family and friends are too much for them to handle.

     One of my issues is what I consider “proper respect” from my wife.  I’m 42 and relatively young but I come from an era of time when a man was the head of his house, acted like it, and was given his due respect.  I’m not trying to act all manly and demand respect.  I’m a firm believer that respect is earned, not given freely, though I respect everyone I meet until they prove otherwise.  Anyways, I’ve never had a problem communicating my ideals and beliefs to anyone.  I speak my feelings and thoughts with clarity and passion and will even clarify everything so there will be no mistakes as to what I’m saying, but all of that falls on deaf ears when it comes to my wife.  Lack of communication is one of the most frustrating and damaging things that can happen in a relationship.  It will leave all parties involved feeling unsatisfied and unhappy.

     Fortunately, I operate with the Holy Spirit and I’m able to reach beyond the pain and frustration of dealing with people who will never be able to give me happiness or meet my needs.  It took awhile to understand this concept and to achieve the level of faith necessary (a mustard seed) to have peace and joy.  I don’t fault my wife or anyone else for not being able to satisfy my needs, I just understand that that’s not what we were created for.  We were created to live in harmony with each other but that can only be accomplished if we first seek The Father and The Son Jesus Christ.  Operating outside of His will only leads to strife and if you don’t believe me, look at your own life and look at the things you’ve been through and determine if the strife you’ve went through in your life could have been avoided or lessened if you were operating within the love of Jesus Christ!

You Can't Take The Funk Off A Skunk!

     I recall a saying from back in my youth that was, "if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck and looks like a duck, it's a duck."  That's basically saying not to doubt what you are seeing or disregard it for something else.

     The reason I bring this up is because these last couple of terms at my college I've been deluged with a bunch of material that has racist, derogatory writings and images.  I was offended, which is an issue I'm working on because I'm not supposed to be easily offended if I truly call myself a follower of Christ.

     Anyways, I called into question the reasoning behind my instructors choices for materials that we must disseminate for learning purposes.  One of my instructors informed me that we are going to watch the movie Crash for a study in characterization.  Now that could be a plausible reason for watching that movie but I'm certain there are hundreds of better movies that we could watch for the same exercise that don't have racist overtones.  We've also been reading literature that has racist overtones and again I must point out that there are thousands upon thousands of well written stories by award winning authors that we could read yet we are having to read these things.

     Now this is where I was having trouble figuring out if this is a duck or something else.  At first I wanted to dismiss the whole thing as required reading for class projects but the same instructor was giving us more material with racist overtones and that's what caused me to reconsider his motives.  I've made it known that I was uncomfortable with certain aspects of the material we're studying.  My instructor took a defensive stance but did offer to allow students who may be offended by said material to substitute it with something not offensive.  But why does my instructor choose a majority of racist material?

     I like the color blue.  I wear a lot of blue clothing.  I consciously and subconsciously pick blue over other colors because that's what I like.  I submit that formula to be applied to the above situation.  My instructors haven't admitted to being predisposed toward racist attitudes but their duck prints say differently!

Fresh Out Of Jail!

     Man, I'm fresh outa Joe Arpio's Tent City.  Had to spend twenty-four hours there for not doing my community service last month.  I wasn't going to write anything about my experience there as I don't like re-living jail experiences but I thought I'd share with you a little of what went on in there.

     First, I must say that the hardest part of the whole experience was the part where I had to turn myself in.  That whole idea of bringing myself to jail goes against every fiber in my body.  Back in the day, when I was runnin' the streets and doing everything my flesh wanted to do, I made it a habit to make the police work for my arrest.  I would run from them, curse them, attack them, insult them, refuse to speak to them, spit on them, lie to them, anything I could to make my arrest that much more difficult for them.  And now I'm expected to turn myself in willingly and freely without a fight.  I don't think so, yet that's exactly what I did.

     The whole experience wasn't bad.  I met a few interesting people in there and saw and heard a lot of interesting things, but things started to go bad about an hour after I got in.  The sheriff came into the cell I was in and pulled me out to tell me she had good news and bad news.  The good news was, the way the judge wrote my order, I was going to be released earlier than expected.  The bad news was, I had an outstanding warrant so I was going to have to go to court and possibly have to stay longer than expected.  I got sick to my stomach over that revelation and then I went through various emotions including anger and fear.  It was right then I recognized this for an attack after which I instantly went to the Father and the Son Jesus Christ and prayed which caused me to remember that I have nothing to fear if I really trust Him and love Him, which I do.  So my fear and anger went away instantly and I started laughing at some of the ridiculous things I was hearing from some of my fellow inmates.

     One guy, who I suspect was on some heavy drugs, starting banging on the cell door demanding to speak to a supervisor because he no longer wanted to participate in being locked up and he wanted to know if he could come back the next day and try it all over again.  When they told him no he asked if he could be let out of the cell and sit down in the hallway because he was claustrophobic.  The sheriff reminded him that this was jail which is purposely made of confining spaces and that he would have to stay in the cell.  It went down hill for him after that as he started hallucinating and crying and continued to bang on the door which was making some of the other inmates angry.

     Another inmate starting talking about how easy it is to get someones identity and do all types of things to that persons accounts.  His words were very disturbing even to the point that I've considered changing my FaceBook account because he pointed out a way that was very easy to hack my page and create a new one with my identity.  I really can't believe that some people are so malicious as to destroy another persons reputation and credibility just because they can.  That made me sigh because I want to believe that every person has some good inside of them but I have to face the reality of this world that some people are inherently bad and will stay that way until the Second Coming.

     Anyways, I got out at around 3:30 pm, only five hours after I was originally scheduled to and I went home and showered.  I'm glad that experience is over and I'm glad to be free but most importantly I'm glad to know and love Jesus Christ because it's through Him I'm able to get through all adversity!

Past love, present happiness. Real friendship never dies!

My youngest son Emanuel and an unknown friend

     I'm hooked on FaceBook.  I'm on it everyday, I keep meeting new people and finding old friends.  This happened recently as a high school love found me and sent a friend request.  I accepted it, of course, and called her shortly thereafter so we could catch up on the past.  Come to find out she hasn't changed much since the days when I called her mine.  She still has a sweetness in her voice and I can sense that a touch of innocence remains.

     Reuniting with her has brought back all types of memories, mostly good, but it has caused me to reflect on where I've been and where I'm headed.  When her and I were together, I was at the tender age of fifteen and I was just starting to learn about adult life.  I didn't have a clue about women, love, sex or life.  When I think about it, I still am kind of clueless when it comes to the machinations of a woman.  I have a feeling I will never understand the mind of a woman but that's another story.  During the two years we were together I got a crash course in love and heartbreak, in joy and pain, but if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't hesitate.  That part of my life was a necessary journey that helped me get to where I'm at today.

     Hence, I am happy to have heard from her and she has given me a new perspective of the life I live.  I owe her a lot for the lessons I learned while with her and the things that she contributed to my becoming a man.  She represents one of my oldest friends and though we were past lovers I consider her a good friend and I hope she feels the same!

First week back!

Gary Orlando Mason

     Coming to the end of my first week back at Collins and it's been great.  All of my classes are interesting and so are some of my classmates.  I'm still a little shell-shocked by the amount of money my books and software came to.  This term alone came out to over eleven hundred dollars and because of that I've resolved to get the maximum value out of everything I have.  I believe I can get ten times the amount of money I spent out of the books and software I purchased.

     I've got some new projects coming up and I'm attempting to get my own business off the ground so things are pretty exciting.  I've got some hot scripture I want to share with all of you but I think I'll wait 'til the weekend.  So until then.  Adios!

The Choices We Make

Gary Orlando Mason

     John 8:47- ⁴⁷ He who belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God."

     That is some hot scripture.  When I read it yesterday I knew I was going to expound on it.  Right after I read it I understood why a lot of people aren't Christians, why they don't like Christians and why they won't follow Jesus Christ.

     Loving Jesus and following and obeying His Word have been the most life-giving, rewarding actions I could ever do.  It wasn't easy to do at first because I didn't want to surrender my life and the way I was living it, over to Him.  I didn't know him and I didn't trust him.  I also thought I could bring happiness to myself through my own actions.  But I found out that I could do nothing worthwhile for myself.  Not only that, but I couldn't do anything for anyone else either.  I was living a miserable existence as I tried to find happiness in drugs and women and false friends and money and material items.  Woe to me, my life as I knew it was slowly but surely coming to an end.


     As I look back I see where I was headed which was certain death with an unfulfilled, meaningless life.  People that know me, know of some of the struggles I went through such as drug addiction.  They've heard me say how I was able to overcome that bondage which was through Jesus Christ.  They hear me talk and they see my joy and happiness yet they don't want to accept that I achieved it through Jesus Christ.  Not only that, but they don't believe they can have peace, joy and success in life by giving up their life to God.  They see me moving forward in an extraordinary way, they hear me give praise consistently to God for all I have, yet they won't make the connection as to how I have success and am able to get through crisis with strength and love.


     How sad it is to hold on to misery with both hands and believe that is all there is for you.  Fear is not a part of God's plan for any of us and to live in it is to not know God.  Worrying about anything, but especially things you can't control, will not add one day to you life but will definitely subtract some.


     Come on people.  Get it together.  Realize how far you go in life without God and discover how far you can go with Him!

Growing up slowly but surely

     So, my last week of school break is coming to an end as is the community service I've been doing while I was on vacation(some vacation).  Anyways, I've managed to stay busy during these two weeks.  I celebrated my first year of recovery, I've cracked open a couple of my upcoming books, I filmed and edited another segment to my Recovery in Jesus series, community service(40 hours),  attended a couple of CA meetings, co-led a substance abuse class(twice), attended church, debated with a Muslim about Christianity vs. Muslim and had several revelations of which I will share one here.

     As my one year anniversary of sobriety went by, I reflected on my life over the last twenty years and I came to the conclusion that I am maturing.  Ya, I know, I should've already matured as I am long in the tooth and forty-two summers past.  Hey, it takes some of us longer than others and still some never get there, so calm down.  Be happy that I'm making progress.

     Anyways, I had a revelation about sobriety and that was, as I continue to lead a drug-free life, I've started growing again in areas that I had stopped due to long term drug use.  I started drinking at the ripe old age of eleven and was using drugs by fifteen.  My intellectual growth slowed down considerably due to the chemical interaction in my brain and I basically remained a teenager, mentally, until recently.  That's what drugs do.  They stop your mind from growing.  When I decided to stop using, that was my first step toward maturing.  I made an adult decision to do something positive and productive and my intellect has been catching up at record speed with my age.

     I used drugs as a child and I remained one far longer than I should have.  It's past time for me to be the man I'm supposed to be!

Weathering the storm

     I had a revelation this morning about how I deal with problems as they arise and how people deal with them in general and it came to me that when you truly love and trust Jesus you're able to get through times of turmoil easier than without Him.  As a matter of fact, during some times of trouble, you won't even recognize the trouble because you are completely covered and absorbed in The Holy Spirit.  That's awesome!

     I know this may sound radical or impossible but I know it to be truth.  The more I stay in The Word of Jesus Christ, the more I surround myself with people, places and things of Jesus Christ, is the more I'm able to withstand the things that attack me that are not of Jesus Christ, namely everything of this world that doesn't line up with The Word of Jesus Christ.

     I've noticed that things that use to bother me or irritate me have little effect on me now.  I'm not moved by peoples negative words or opinions anymore.  Not even that long ago I would imagine choking the life out of people that would say or do crazy, disrespectful things around me.  Today not so much so.  I love Jesus so much that I'm in constant conversation with Him.  It's like when I see or hear something that bothers me I go straight to Him and tell Him about it.  He's my best friend, my brother, my father and when I tell him about something, He hears everything I say and He usually points out a few things that I've overlooked such as I need to quit trippin' and move on and don't let these petty things get to me.  We both laugh, shake our heads and move on.  That's awesome.

     Having Jesus there for me is the difference maker and has not only saved a lot of people from getting the sense knocked into them by me but has really saved me from hurting myself with stress and grief.

Dharma is not at peace with Christianity

  Last night I attended a court ordered substance abuse class at Phoenix Shambhala Meditation center which studies Dharma as it pertains to recovery.

     I was not happy to be there because I don't believe it's right that I have to participate in another religions practice because I'm court ordered to.  I was also unhappy because we've never studied recovery through Christian methods yet here we are at a Buddhist temple studying recovery.

Frank

 

     So, let me tell you how I perceived the events from last night.  First, the gentleman that was instructing the class was a personable, quiet, elderly man named Frank.  Frank specifically told the class that the study of Dharma doesn't teach against any religion as it can be a supplement to all religions.  During the class he informed us to allow all thoughts to run through our minds and not to label them good or bad just allow them to go through and out.  This is in direct opposition to The Word of Jesus Christ as Christ commands us to capture any negative thinking and expel it out of our minds and hearts as quickly as it enters.  Frank instructed that there is no right or wrong, that there is only pure reality and to reach peace and joy we cannot hinder ourselves with doctrines and dogma.  Christianity is a doctrine of how to live life according to a set of beliefs and principles that lead to a high quality and peaceful, productive life.  Again, I found Franks subtle words contrary to Christianity.  I remind you, he said Dharma does not teach against any religion yet that is exactly what it does.

     Toward the end, Frank allowed for a question and answer session after which many of my classmates were asking how to use meditation as an everyday tool.  My friend and brother Reggie asked how Dharma recognizes a "higher power" which Frank answered by saying, "What is a higher power?"  "Couldn't a tree be a higher power? Or couldn't the four season's be considered a higher power?"  Frank said, and I quote, "I have trouble understanding Christianity but Dharma can compliment any belief!"  This was one of many things he said during the course of an hour that I found inaccurate and offensive.  Even as I write this I am considering litigation against Maricopa Superior Court because I am certain there are rights protecting us from being forced to participate in religious programs.

     Anyways, I'm interested in anyone's thoughts concerning this post.  Please feel free to respond!

What more do you need to succeed?

     I was watching T.D. Jakes this morning and he was making a statement about how Satan takes care of his children, pimps, prostitutes, drug dealers, and drug czars financially. Wouldn't it make sense and be obvious that God would take care of his children (those that love Him and are called according to His purpose) better than Satan could ever take care of his?

     When I heard that I knew it was right.  I was a bit saddened because I knew this truth all along yet I have been operating in a way that doesn't glorify this.  I was saddened because I shouldn't have to have someone point this truth out to me.  I should be operating on such a level of faith and belief and trust in God that I have no fears, no doubts, no worries.

     I personally know drug dealers that have large amounts of money, shoot, they have over $250,000,000 dollars of my money from over the years.  I know of a lot people that don't love God that are very prosperous, financially.  I know and I believe God is mightier and greater than he who is in the world.  It isn't possible for someone who truly loves God to be less than one that doesn't.  We are the head, not the tail!

      I am very prosperous in every way except finances.  I declare that I am going to reach and receive the blessings God has for me concerning finances.  I believe and I have faith in The Father that I am on the path He has set forth for me and that I am moving in His will and not mine.  I love you Father and I praise you in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

Work Harder!

     After receiving my grades for this past term, I've resolved to work harder and achieve a 4.0 next term.  I can do it.  I just need to focus on the areas where I am weak at and work on them.  First, I need to continue in my study of The Word as this feeds my mind and gives me insight on how to live and accomplish Gods will.

     In case anyone is wondering, it's been through Jesus Christ that I have experienced the success I have so far in college and in life.  I started college with some doubts and fears that I've been able to overcome because of my faith and belief in Jesus Christ.  Now, I look forward to challenges with the knowledge that I can rely on God for assistance.  And believe me, I've relied on Him for help in all areas of my life and school is no different.

     My goal is a 4.0 and I plan to get that.  I also have a goal of producing quality, professional material and making a profit from my work.  These are the goals.  I will continue to seek Gods will and align myself with The Word!  Amen!

Sobriety Tip #35

Keep moving Forward

     There are always going to be setbacks, obstacles, and hurdles in life and when one is maintaining sobriety it seems like they double but it is important to recognize them for what they are and to keep moving forward.

     I recently experienced a setback as I confused the dates of a class I was supposed to attend and I missed it.  The consequences could include jail time and or a fine or more community service but that's okay.  It doesn't take away the year of sobriety I've gained and that's what is important.  The way I see it, there's always going to be something coming against me.  I actually look forward to the challenges because I KNOW I'm not going to lose.  I've got Jesus on my side and if He is for me, then who can be against me?

Finals are over, I'm officially on Vacation!

     Just finished the last of my exams and classes and it's vacation time.  Two weeks to be exact until I join my classmates again and I look forward to the downtime even though I will not be going anywhere special as my children just returned to school this week.

     I will actually be working physically harder in the next two weeks than I have in quite some time, as I will be doing community service around the Phoenix valley.  That'll be fun, not, but the alternative is jail time so it looks like I'll be making Phoenix a better place to live by cleaning up it's trash in neighborhood alley's.

    Anyways, I'm happy for the break and I plan to get some projects done.  I've got a substance abuse class I am going to co-lead tonight so I may put up another post depending on how interesting this class is.

Renew your mind, change your life, and understand the perfect will of God!

     You can't see, make or have a change in your life if you do not first renew your mind.  If you want to see a change in your life, if you want different results in your life, you have got to renew your mind.  You've got to look at things differently.  You've got to do things differently, you've got to operate differently.

     I no longer operate in fear, of anything, because I've renewed my mind and I continue to renew my mind on a daily basis.  I use to be addicted to drugs.  I renewed my mind, through Jesus Christ, and am able to live life in a positive, productive way, without drugs.  I use to be jealous, and insecure because of infidelity in relationships on both sides.  I renewed my mind and discovered I was selfish, which was causing me to operate in fear of losing something that was never really mine.  The renewal of my mind allowed me to see that I don't have to depend on other people for my happiness because other people can never fulfill happiness within me.  That's renewal of the mind.

      I look at everything in a different way than I did before I knew Jesus Christ.  I truly believe in and trust Jesus Christ and His Word which gives me a renewed mind and a different way to live.  Now I get results, different results, through the Blood of Jesus Christ. Amen!  I walk and talk with strength and power through Jesus Christ. Amen!

Finals Week

     Well the old man has finals this week and I'm happy to report that all is well.  I've got three projects to turn in and one written, open book final and essay.  As of this writing I've got two projects done and I'm ready for the written final and essay.  I've got until Thursday to finish the other two projects(digital editing) and I believe I will have quality edits to turn in.

     So, I will keep this short as I've got work to do, papers to write and film footage to edit.  I will report back later about my final grades!

Realizing God is present and accounted for

Dr. Charles Stanley

     Dr. Charles Stanley spoke on the power you receive when you recognize God's presence.  I really can relate to that sermon and I thought I would expound on that.

     I walk through my life like most people, with a bit a uncertainty and doubt and fear when it comes to things that are unknown to me but I have been growing in faith and strength through Jesus Christ.  What I have done is look at the world around me with the knowledge of The Word of Jesus Christ.  I truly love Jesus and I trust Him.  In order to activate the power of The Holy Spirit in my life I had to let go of my trust in myself and actually let God work in my life.  The results have been supernatural.

     For one, I don't have the spirit of fear on me any longer, and when it does attempt to make it's presence known, I recognize it immediately for what it is which takes it's power away.  If you believe in and trust Jesus Christ, there's no way you can possibly walk around in fear.  Jesus tells us that if He is for us then who can be against us.  Jesus tells us that He has instilled in us the same power He has over death.  Jesus tells us that we will perform the same miracles and many more than He did when He was on earth.  Knowing all of this and believing it and utilizing it releases the Holy Spirit in your life and allows you to life in peace and strength.

     If you truly love Jesus Christ and believe in Him and allow Him to work in your life, completely, you can overcome all fears, worries and doubts and move in power which is the ability to get results with confidence!

Truth ain't hard to tell, but sometimes it's hard to swallow!

     I led a substance abuse class tonight and the topic of discussion was truthfulness.  I was dismayed at how many people in the group condone lying and believe it's a necessary part of life.  Some of these men were adamant in their beliefs and were not happy to hear my response to them.  At one point during the discussion I summed up our goal for sobriety as this, "If you can't be honest and speak truthfully, you will never achieve sobriety, plain and simple!"  You could hear a pin drop when I said that and one gentleman actually got upset when I called him out on a statement he made that showed some weakness in his program.

     Anyways, I have the opportunity to lead this group every week if I choose to.  My initial response was to never come back but right now I'm thinking there is purpose for me to be there.  Sometimes we are called to do things that we don't like or are not comfortable doing.  It's those times that God has something good for us but it is up to us follow through with the work.  So I guess I've just decided to continue leading this class!

Sobriety tip # 813

     Change your circle of friends and acquaintances.  This may seem like a difficult task and it very likely is but it is crucial when it comes to gaining and maintaining sobriety.  You have got to change the people you surround yourself with, even if it includes family members.  In my case, I cut-off all addicts, thugs, prostitutes, pimps, liars and thieves and surrounded myself with God first, then my immediate family,(wife, kids, parents and in-laws) and college kids.  I'm not around anyone who has an inclination to use drugs and that helps my sobriety immensely.  I remember one time, one of my old homies came by my house and I relapsed that day because I wasn't strong enough to resist.  That was over two years ago.  Today I have a new group of friends and family that actually want the best for me.

     You've got to do something new if you want something new!

Let me show you how God works

     Last Friday I wrote about how my wife's lack of control over her words had caused strife between her mama, a neighbor, and myself.  At that time, what it amounted to was her parents ending their financial assistance to us because my wife was angry and said some things she should've kept to herself.  The next day my wife announces that we have to have a sit down with her parents about our finances.  I immediately told her, "I don't have to talk to anyone about anything, I'm a grown man and what I do at my house is my business!"  I was angry because she caused this whole situation and now I have to be further tormented by having to discuss my household with her parents.

     I went into prayer.  I told God how angry I was and that I don't want to be this way.  I asked for His grace and peace to come upon me, which it did.  I asked that he calm my wife's spirit and reveal Himself to her so she could grow closer to Him.  I asked for peace in my home and I praised the Father for all He has done.

     Fast forward to last night.  We went to my son's hip-hop dance recital with her parents and on the way there my wife asked me if I was ready to have that conversation with her parents.  I shot her a look that should've melted the skin off her face and I thought it served it's purpose as she remained quiet during the short drive.  Right when we pulled into the parking lot my wife loudly says, "mom, Gary and I are ready to talk about our finances now"  My muscles tensed up.  I think I ripped the seat as my butt cheeks clenched together from the white hot anger that was seething through my body.  I got control and remained calm.  As she spoke to her parents, I didn't say anything.  It was pretty much a one sided conversation with my wife doing most of the talking and her mother occasionally chiming in.  After a few minutes it was over.  I stepped out of vehicle and walked around to the side of the building where no one was at and began to call my wife every name I could think of that wasn't hers.  Then I went to God and told Him everything that just happened and how heated I was and how I didn't want to feel this way.  That hot anger subsided and I went into the building and watched my son do his thing.  My wife sat next to me and could tell I was mad but she tried to talk to me like nothing was wrong.  I told her I was mad and that she doesn't consider how I feel or have respect for me and that she only thinks of herself.  When I got home I grabbed my laptop and my headphones and went into my room and listened to some S.O.S band which calms me.  During all of this I kept hearing that passage in The Bible about not letting the sun go down while angry.  The Holy Spirit would not allow me to stay sour.  I looked over at my wife and she had the saddest eyes.  I knew then that I was going to apologize for my anger at her and I did.  She apologized too and I told her not to worry about it and she fell asleep minutes later.

     I went to bed with peace and I woke up with peace.  I kissed my sleeping wife goodbye and started my day on a positive note.  God calls for us to give love freely and willingly not only because it's powerful and good, but because it gives us life.  Thank you Father for the love you give to your children.  I never want to know life without You!

Mama's boys!

     Today is my youngest son Emanuel's birthday.  He's the ripe old age of five and he's incredible.  I vaguely remember when I was that age but I believe I was having as much fun as he is.  Something about my son that is undeniable is that he is a mama's boy.  That boy can't make a move without his mama.  To be fair, I believe all men are mama's boys to some extent.  I love my mama and will do anything she asks me to do.  I try to see her at least once a week as she lives way across town and I don't drive.

Me and my Mama!

     Anyways, I've seen enough fights in my lifetime that stemmed from someone saying something negative about someone's mama.  Shoot, I've bloodied some lips over that.  There's something that strikes a chord in a man's heart when someone says something about their mama and in case there's anyone out there that doesn't know this, beware.  I've seen best friends fight, old men fight, complete strangers fight over words about someone's mama.  I remember in seventh grade this kid said something about my mama and had everyone in the locker room laughing, except me.  I whooped him on the spot and then vowed to whoop him every time I saw him.  Do you know that particular situation lasted until I was in my mid twenties?

     Thankfully I've matured since then and I'm not as sensitive(I think) as I was over negative words.  In a way, I've been forced to "let things slide" as my son Extavius loves tellin' mama jokes.  It's funny coming from a seven year old but I even had to remind him to be respectful because he is talkin' about my mama which is his grandmama.

     All jokes aside, it's okay to be a mama's boy or girl.  Our mama's gave us life and would give theirs for ours.  They love us like no one other than God can.  They've got healing power and can take away our hurts with just a touch or gentle word.  Everyone should thank The Good Lord for their mama!  I love you mom and Happy Birthday Manny!!!

Computer blues, court dues and family views-nothing a good Christian can't handle!

Me before my Mac got mad!

     What a week, what a week.  Once again I've discovered new things about myself and I am thankful to know and love God.  I tell you, I really understand how non-believers get flustered so easily when things don't go their way.  I was near that point this week as my laptop had an issue and I found out how "attached" I am to this thing.

     First, I received the new operating system, Mac Lion, from a classmate.  When he showed me some of the cool things the new system did and told me it wasn't available to the public yet, I couldn't resist accepting it.  My flesh loves getting new stuff and being the first to have something.  I installed it as soon as I got it and was happy with it until I tried to use my AVID editing software.  As soon as I started it, my computer froze.  I didn't think anything of it, shut it down and restarted it.  It did it again however and I realized there was a problem.  I told my classmate who gave me the OS what happened and that I heard Lion isn't compatible with some software.  He apologized and attempted to restore my laptop to it's original settings but couldn't.  I then took my laptop to my campus tech support and left it with them for a day only to come back and find out they were clueless as to the problem and advised me to take my laptop to an Apple store.

Apple-Biltmore Fashion Plaza

     The Apple store is the most technologically advanced store I have ever been in.  There were Mac's everywhere.  Ipad's, Airbook's and Macbook Pro's on every table in the establishment.  The store was packed with all types of computer savvy customers and an equal amount of tech staff.  A tech approached me and asked if I had an appointment, which is required to get service for all devices, and I told him I did.  He looked up my name on what I presumed was an Ipad, confirmed my appointment, and told me someone would be with me shortly.  An hour later my computer was repaired and I was satisfied.  I can't speak highly enough about the staff at Apple and I would advise anyone with a Mac to go to their nearest Apple store for any issues.

Commissioner Bodow

     Next, is my monthly court appearance which was today.  Everything went well, as I haven't had any notable violations in nearly a year.  Commissioner Bodow did require I pay two hundred dollars per month or do twenty hours of community service before I see her again.  According to my math, that equals a total of twenty days of community service that I need to do from now until I expire off of probation in January.  I'm going to knock the majority of those days out during my two weeks off from college in August.

     Last, are my own personal trials with my wife.  She had an episode last week where she couldn't control the things that came out of her mouth and caused herself to have some issues with her mother, our neighbors, and me.  A whole lot of strife came out of that situation which could have been avoided had she the ability to control her tongue.

     During all of this I remained calm and at peace and that's because I love Jesus Christ and when these inconveniences arise I rely on Him to guide me through.  He has never failed me!