Me and My Boys

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

You lyin' son-of-a-b*+@#

   
I can tolerate a lot of things, racism, stupidity, poor hygiene, fast talkers, slow thinkers and a few others that slip my mind at the moment, but one thing I can't tolerate is a liar.  Lying has to be the most pathetic weakness a person could have.

     Lying is deeply rooted in fear, and people that lie are trapped in bondage to fear, whether rational or not.  A person who lies is afraid to deal with the immediate consequences from telling the truth.  What liars don't realize is that the truth will ultimately set them free from the bondage of fear. Telling the truth is completely liberating, removing an incredible weight off of the conscious, removing fear and relieving stress.

   
     Lying is an absolute destroyer of self and has the power to hurt others who are caught in its sticky web.  I have been hurt deeply by lies because I don't understand why they are being told to me by people who would otherwise say they love me.  When someone lies to me, I feel as though they are saying, "I don't respect you, I could care less about your feelings and basically you're a jerk!"  Also, "you are stupid enough to believe the lies I'm telling you, so you don't deserve to hear the truth!"  What really bothers me is, these people that lie are terrible at lying.  This one person was so bad at lying to me, that I finally told them how to lie better because their lying techniques were pathetic.  That still didn't help because they were far too ignorant to be able to comprehend what I was telling them.  No shocker there because if they possessed even a hint of intelligence they wouldn't lower themselves to lying.

     At any rate, I pity the people that are filled with fear and can't get out of that bondage.  I pray they can receive enlightenment so they can have peace in their life.  As for me, I'm trying to get a thicker skin.  Actually, I received a revelation which gave me peace in dealing with liars and that revelation was:  I don't have to trust anyone.  I only need to trust God.  If I truly trust Him, then I know he will not lead me astray.  No weapon, including lying, shall prosper against me!

Monday, November 11, 2013

Got Ethics?

I was recently discussing ethics and its importance, and the conversation brought up some issues that have been plaguing me for awhile now.  I am a huge advocate of adhering to a code of ethics because I believe ethics is the foundation necessary to be successful in anything you do.  It is not possible to be productive or successful if you have not established and follow a set of standards that are consistent with professional conduct.

That being said, I unfortunately live in a world where few people actually know what ethics are and even fewer have any or subscribe to any.  My dictionary defines ethics as: ethics |ˈeTHiks|
pluralnounusu. treated as pl. ] moral principles that govern a person's or group's behavior: Judeo-Christian ethics.• the moral correctness of specified conduct: the ethics of euthanasia.usu. treated as sing. ] the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles.
         This definition is fine and my interpretation of it is similar.  To me, ethics really are "common sense" beliefs and actions that EVERYONE should naturally know or have been taught at an early age.  I remember back in grade school being taught basic rights, wrongs and truths such as, "treat people the way you want to be treated," "don't lie, cheat or steal," "help others," "respect your elders," "be true to your word," and "love one another" to name a few.  These basics have served as a foundation for how to carry oneself with honor and integrity in preparation for being successful and productive in society.


          I know for a fact and have proven to myself, that having and following a set of ethics will guarantee success, reduce stress and loss, and increase productivity while positioning one to leadership, all the while separating oneself from those who lack ethics.
         
     There is no way one can be considered professional if they lack ethics and this is where I have issues. I often deal with people who are in professional positions yet adhere to no ethics or are "burnt out" and no longer care about maintaining professionalism.  For example, I have an instructor who is often late, sometimes not showing up at all, can very rarely answer any questions concerning his courses and carries himself in a lackadaisical manner which is uninspiring and detrimental to his students.  I have no confidence in his abilities and loathe seeing his name appear on my schedule.  He announces he grades on a rigid scale requiring submitted work to be of "high-quality" and industry standard, yet he doesn't teach in that manner.  There's no way you can teach professionalism if you're not professional.  I am frustrated and my flesh wants to handle the situation in a manner that is not conducive with professionalism.  However, I will not allow ANY person to bring me down to a level that is less than what I am capable of carrying myself, and I will maintain my integrity and use the situation as a learning tool to advance myself.  Ethics.


Saturday, June 1, 2013

Short Film

    
Wow, I haven't been blogging in a bit.  I will have to jump start my creative writing and get back into the swing of things.  Anyways, I wanted to share a short film I just created which also happens to be my first short film.  I created this for my final grade as a project that was assigned in my Film Production Techniques class.  I really enjoyed the challenge of having to create a film by myself and having to do everything including writing the script, directing, producing, editing, and acting in.  It was fun and has inspired me to consider shooting more projects.

     I hope you enjoy this.  I do appreciate any comments or feedback concerning this project.  Thank you for watching!  http://youtu.be/EIK7B4syvsE

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Last Black Man Draggin'!

     I am past the point where I can watch another Black man dress up as a woman and act in comedic fashion, hence the reason why I am not a fan of Tyler Perry.  When I first saw his Madea character I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily.  "Please, not another Black man dressing up like a woman," is what I exclaimed, loudly.

     My dislike for Black men in drag really started with Martin Lawrence's role as Big Mama.  To me, it was a cheap rip-off from Eddie Murphy's successful depiction of an entire family in the Nutty Professor series which included the mother and grandmother roles.  In my opinion, Eddie was brilliant in those roles.

     Let's explore the phenomenon of Black men in feminine roles.  I can only remember as far back as the early seventies, and since I am doing minimal research on this subject my memory and opinions will have to do.  That being said, my first memories of Black men dressing up as women start with Flip Wilson and his character named Geraldine.

     From what I recall, Geraldine was sassy with a lot of attitude and also flirtatious.  Looking back on those episodes, Geraldine was always paired with big name stars like Bill Cosby, Muhammad Ali, and Tim Conway to name a few.  Even though Geraldine was the comic relief in those skits it was his/her interactions with the stars that made the skits funny.
 
     Next, I recall Martin Lawrence as "Sheneneh" on his own sitcom.  Again, his interpretation was one of a woman with major attitude and sass who demanded attention.  In this case, Sheneneh was the star and the role really relied on her outrageous behavior.
     There was Arsenio Hall in Coming to America who portrayed a depraved, sex addicted woman who was willing to sleep with multiple men at the same time.  I think it was funny because it came about totally unexpected, and the thought of him sleeping with himself is just hilarious.

     On The Jamie Foxx show, Jamie played a woman named Wanda who was extremely ugly with strong sexual desires and attitude.  I don't believe this portrayal worked because it had been done, with mixed reviews by Martin Lawrence.

     There was Wesley Snipes actually playing a woman in drag in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, and Miguel Nunez as a basketball playing woman in Juwanna man.
     Eddie Murphy portrayed multiple roles in Coming to America, none of them women, but I believe it was because of the success of his roles in that movie that he expanded to female roles in the Nutty Professor franchise, which by the way, were near genius.

     So, why is the portrayal of Black women by Black men so successful and interesting?  Well, in my opinion it's because of the importance Black women play in the life of their children.  There is no stronger person in my life than my mother.  My mother has been everything to me, strong, supportive, sensitive to my feelings, caring, giving, a disciplinarian, loving and the list goes on.  I believe most men can relate to this but more so by Black men.  More Black men are raised in single-parent households, led by their mother's, than any other race.  Because of this, Black women often times play dual roles in the upbringing of their son's, having to be both the mother and the father.  Obviously, a mom can't adequately fill the role of a man as a father to his son, and because of this inability to do so, mothers often exaggerate the guidance they give their son's.  In a lot of cases, the mother will put their young son's in the role of the missing father, putting adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child.  I digress.
     Anyways, most Black men can easily tell you about the strong women in their lives and the memories from their childhood of their mother's, grandmother's, aunts and cousins.  I always compare my mother to E.F. Hutton, because when she talks, EVERYBODY LISTENS!  My mama didn't play when I was a kid and she don't play forty years later.  I remember one time my mother told me to turn my music down.  I turned it down a little thinking it was enough to satisfy her request when, out of nowhere, I see her foot crashing through my door, slamming it open, and yelling at me "turn that moth@fu%$#$ music down!"  It's funny to recall that now, but when it actually happened it was one of the most terrifying things I had ever seen.  What made it so scary was, my mom doesn't curse, so bringing her to that much rage was eye opening and extremely unsettling.  My friend who was in the room with me, would not leave my house by going out the front door.  He didn't want to walk past my mom to exit the house so he jumped out of my window.
     I am certain you can stop any Black man and ask him to share a memory of his mother disciplining him and he will be able to give you many stories of his mother "snapping" and tearing his ass up.
     Speaking for most Black men in general, we have a healthy respect for the women that raised us, which is why portraying them is funny.  For one, the portrayal of a Black woman by a Black man is his interpretation of what he witnessed and experienced growing up.  It is also a way to safely "make fun of mama" without getting your ass whooped.  Plus, Black men know that the next Black man can relate to the role because more than likely their own mama's have acted in similar fashion at some point in their lives.  Though most of those portrayals aren't very flattering, I believe they were all created out of the love a son has for his mother.


Thursday, October 11, 2012

Call Me Crazy!

     Call me crazy, but I just cannot bring myself to spend money to go to a haunted house or to a movie theater to watch depraved, horrific acts.  As far as haunted houses are concerned, it's that time of year where people(pagans) celebrate the macabre and morbid day of hallows eve.

     First, let me state for the record that this is not a post bashing the goings on of Halloween celebrations.  I used to trick-or-treat as a child and I have children who do so now.  No, this post is about my unwillingness to spend hard-earned money to witness people dress up like demons and attempt to scare me or go to the movies and watch any number of films that depict demonic possession, murder, violence, depravity.

     There are thousands of high-end haunted houses across the country that charge anywhere from $5 to $100 per person to enter.  That in itself is a horror, and paying that should be a crime. I digress.  My stance comes from the fact that I tithe money to my church and give money to the needy.  How can I justify spending money on demon worshiping?  Also, I have no fear of demons, so I would basically be giving my money away receiving no services.

     I don't consider looking at grotesque images as being "fun!"  Not even curious.  You want to read a scary book, read The Bible.  It's got some stories that will scare you straight like the seven sons of Sceva [Acts 19:13-16].  Them dudes tried to exorcise a "real" demon and ended up getting beat to within an inch of their lives!

     Something else to consider is, demon possession shouldn't be taken lightly.  It takes form very subtly, most times without a person realizing it is happening to them.  I see a lot of possessed people everyday.  I can tell by their words and actions they are possessed.  At one point in time, I was possessed, caught in the bondage of drug addiction and doing all sorts of depraved acts.  Do you know that I tried many, many programs and treatments to overcome addiction, but the only thing that worked was allowing The Holy Spirit to work in my life.

     So, after spending many years doing what pagans do, I choose to recognize and stay away from foulness.  Before I spend money on ANYTHING that remotely resembles satanism, I will give twice that amount toward something Good!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Sobriety Tip #233 - Surround Yourself With Positive People!

     This may sound like a no-brainer, but surrounding yourself with positive people is a must if you are going to be successful in your sobriety.  The power of positive and negative is real.  Constantly being around one or the other will be a difference maker in your recovery efforts.

     One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with.  I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with  positive words.  It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word.  I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation.  This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.

     When working on sobriety, YOU come first.  Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Is Money What You Really Need?

     Did I ever tell you the story about the time a gentleman asked me for fifty cents?  Well, if I didn't, here goes.  I was walking from a class one day, that was located in a bad part of town, when a homeless looking gentleman asked me if I could spare fifty cents.  I was sad to tell him that I didn't have any money on me, but if I did, I would've have surely given it to him.  He thanked me anyways and continued walking.  I cut across the street, and continued to walk to my bus stop, but I kept hearing the words from Dr. Creflo Dollar saying that we can't claim to be blessed if we can't bless anyone.  It was at that point that I remembered that I had several five dollar money orders in my bag that were blank so I crossed back, against traffic, and ran to catch that gentleman who asked me for the fifty cents.  When I approached him I said, "I don't have any money, but I do have a blank money order for five dollars if you think that would help."  He accepted it, said thank you, and then said, "Hey, I know you've got another money order you can spare!"

     Now, this whole event started with him asking for fifty cents.  I gave him five dollars which was a five hundred percent increase of what he originally asked for.  When he asked me for another five, I politely told him I couldn't spare it, but he continued to badger me, so I declined and walked away.  As you can imagine, I walked away shaking my head in disbelief of what had just happened.  That dude had some nerve to ask for more after I gave him more than he originally asked for.

     Anyways, I've noticed that a lot of people have that same "take all you can get!" mentality.  It's sad because they don't realize there is more happiness in giving than in receiving.

     I've had a few situations like this occur, with the most recent from a lady who questioned my Christianity because I didn't give her money in a timely manner.  This woman claimed to need help because she only had a few dollars on her credit cards(red flag), and her vehicle was old and high maintenance(red flag) and she didn't have much food to eat.  She said if I wanted to help I could put money on her PayPal account(red flag).

     There are a lot of red flags in this situation.  For one, I've helped many people, with thousands of dollars, yet I have never met a person who had a PayPal account, credit cards and a vehicle, that needed help.  I'm sure there are plenty of people who want help but what they need is some counseling.  I've noticed many, many people living outside of their means.  You have got to prioritize what is important.  You can't buy an eight dollar pack of cigarettes, every day, but have no food in your refrigerator.  You can't make car payments on an eighty thousand dollar truck and live in an apartment receiving food stamps.  Prioritize!  Stop having a "me" attitude and quit being self-centered.  Think about others!  Look outside of yourself and you will find happiness!