Last Black Man Draggin'!

     I am past the point where I can watch another Black man dress up as a woman and act in comedic fashion, hence the reason why I am not a fan of Tyler Perry.  When I first saw his Madea character I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily.  "Please, not another Black man dressing up like a woman," is what I exclaimed, loudly.

     My dislike for Black men in drag really started with Martin Lawrence's role as Big Mama.  To me, it was a cheap rip-off from Eddie Murphy's successful depiction of an entire family in the Nutty Professor series which included the mother and grandmother roles.  In my opinion, Eddie was brilliant in those roles.

     Let's explore the phenomenon of Black men in feminine roles.  I can only remember as far back as the early seventies, and since I am doing minimal research on this subject my memory and opinions will have to do.  That being said, my first memories of Black men dressing up as women start with Flip Wilson and his character named Geraldine.

     From what I recall, Geraldine was sassy with a lot of attitude and also flirtatious.  Looking back on those episodes, Geraldine was always paired with big name stars like Bill Cosby, Muhammad Ali, and Tim Conway to name a few.  Even though Geraldine was the comic relief in those skits it was his/her interactions with the stars that made the skits funny.
 

     Next, I recall Martin Lawrence as "Sheneneh" on his own sitcom.  Again, his interpretation was one of a woman with major attitude and sass who demanded attention.  In this case, Sheneneh was the star and the role really relied on her outrageous behavior.

     There was Arsenio Hall in Coming to America who portrayed a depraved, sex addicted woman who was willing to sleep with multiple men at the same time.  I think it was funny because it came about totally unexpected, and the thought of him sleeping with himself is just hilarious.

     On The Jamie Foxx show, Jamie played a woman named Wanda who was extremely ugly with strong sexual desires and attitude.  I don't believe this portrayal worked because it had been done, with mixed reviews by Martin Lawrence.

     There was Wesley Snipes actually playing a woman in drag in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, and Miguel Nunez as a basketball playing woman in Juwanna man.
     Eddie Murphy portrayed multiple roles in Coming to America, none of them women, but I believe it was because of the success of his roles in that movie that he expanded to female roles in the Nutty Professor franchise, which by the way, were near genius.

     So, why is the portrayal of Black women by Black men so successful and interesting?  Well, in my opinion it's because of the importance Black women play in the life of their children.  There is no stronger person in my life than my mother.  My mother has been everything to me, strong, supportive, sensitive to my feelings, caring, giving, a disciplinarian, loving and the list goes on.  I believe most men can relate to this but more so by Black men.  More Black men are raised in single-parent households, led by their mother's, than any other race.  Because of this, Black women often times play dual roles in the upbringing of their son's, having to be both the mother and the father.  Obviously, a mom can't adequately fill the role of a man as a father to his son, and because of this inability to do so, mothers often exaggerate the guidance they give their son's.  In a lot of cases, the mother will put their young son's in the role of the missing father, putting adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child.  I digress.
     Anyways, most Black men can easily tell you about the strong women in their lives and the memories from their childhood of their mother's, grandmother's, aunts and cousins.  I always compare my mother to E.F. Hutton, because when she talks, EVERYBODY LISTENS!  My mama didn't play when I was a kid and she don't play forty years later.  I remember one time my mother told me to turn my music down.  I turned it down a little thinking it was enough to satisfy her request when, out of nowhere, I see her foot crashing through my door, slamming it open, and yelling at me "turn that moth@fu%$#$ music down!"  It's funny to recall that now, but when it actually happened it was one of the most terrifying things I had ever seen.  What made it so scary was, my mom doesn't curse, so bringing her to that much rage was eye opening and extremely unsettling.  My friend who was in the room with me, would not leave my house by going out the front door.  He didn't want to walk past my mom to exit the house so he jumped out of my window.
     I am certain you can stop any Black man and ask him to share a memory of his mother disciplining him and he will be able to give you many stories of his mother "snapping" and tearing his ass up.
     Speaking for most Black men in general, we have a healthy respect for the women that raised us, which is why portraying them is funny.  For one, the portrayal of a Black woman by a Black man is his interpretation of what he witnessed and experienced growing up.  It is also a way to safely "make fun of mama" without getting your ass whooped.  Plus, Black men know that the next Black man can relate to the role because more than likely their own mama's have acted in similar fashion at some point in their lives.  Though most of those portrayals aren't very flattering, I believe they were all created out of the love a son has for his mother.

Call Me Crazy!

     Call me crazy, but I just cannot bring myself to spend money to go to a haunted house or to a movie theater to watch depraved, horrific acts.  As far as haunted houses are concerned, it's that time of year where people(pagans) celebrate the macabre and morbid day of hallows eve.

     First, let me state for the record that this is not a post bashing the goings on of Halloween celebrations.  I used to trick-or-treat as a child and I have children who do so now.  No, this post is about my unwillingness to spend hard-earned money to witness people dress up like demons and attempt to scare me or go to the movies and watch any number of films that depict demonic possession, murder, violence, depravity.

     There are thousands of high-end haunted houses across the country that charge anywhere from $5 to $100 per person to enter.  That in itself is a horror, and paying that should be a crime. I digress.  My stance comes from the fact that I tithe money to my church and give money to the needy.  How can I justify spending money on demon worshiping?  Also, I have no fear of demons, so I would basically be giving my money away receiving no services.

     I don't consider looking at grotesque images as being "fun!"  Not even curious.  You want to read a scary book, read The Bible.  It's got some stories that will scare you straight like the seven sons of Sceva [Acts 19:13-16].  Them dudes tried to exorcise a "real" demon and ended up getting beat to within an inch of their lives!

     Something else to consider is, demon possession shouldn't be taken lightly.  It takes form very subtly, most times without a person realizing it is happening to them.  I see a lot of possessed people everyday.  I can tell by their words and actions they are possessed.  At one point in time, I was possessed, caught in the bondage of drug addiction and doing all sorts of depraved acts.  Do you know that I tried many, many programs and treatments to overcome addiction, but the only thing that worked was allowing The Holy Spirit to work in my life.

     So, after spending many years doing what pagans do, I choose to recognize and stay away from foulness.  Before I spend money on ANYTHING that remotely resembles satanism, I will give twice that amount toward something Good!

Sobriety Tip #233 - Surround Yourself With Positive People!

     This may sound like a no-brainer, but surrounding yourself with positive people is a must if you are going to be successful in your sobriety.  The power of positive and negative is real.  Constantly being around one or the other will be a difference maker in your recovery efforts.

     One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with.  I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with  positive words.  It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word.  I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation.  This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.

     When working on sobriety, YOU come first.  Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!

Is Money What You Really Need?

     Did I ever tell you the story about the time a gentleman asked me for fifty cents?  Well, if I didn't, here goes.  I was walking from a class one day, that was located in a bad part of town, when a homeless looking gentleman asked me if I could spare fifty cents.  I was sad to tell him that I didn't have any money on me, but if I did, I would've have surely given it to him.  He thanked me anyways and continued walking.  I cut across the street, and continued to walk to my bus stop, but I kept hearing the words from Dr. Creflo Dollar saying that we can't claim to be blessed if we can't bless anyone.  It was at that point that I remembered that I had several five dollar money orders in my bag that were blank so I crossed back, against traffic, and ran to catch that gentleman who asked me for the fifty cents.  When I approached him I said, "I don't have any money, but I do have a blank money order for five dollars if you think that would help."  He accepted it, said thank you, and then said, "Hey, I know you've got another money order you can spare!"

     Now, this whole event started with him asking for fifty cents.  I gave him five dollars which was a five hundred percent increase of what he originally asked for.  When he asked me for another five, I politely told him I couldn't spare it, but he continued to badger me, so I declined and walked away.  As you can imagine, I walked away shaking my head in disbelief of what had just happened.  That dude had some nerve to ask for more after I gave him more than he originally asked for.

     Anyways, I've noticed that a lot of people have that same "take all you can get!" mentality.  It's sad because they don't realize there is more happiness in giving than in receiving.

     I've had a few situations like this occur, with the most recent from a lady who questioned my Christianity because I didn't give her money in a timely manner.  This woman claimed to need help because she only had a few dollars on her credit cards(red flag), and her vehicle was old and high maintenance(red flag) and she didn't have much food to eat.  She said if I wanted to help I could put money on her PayPal account(red flag).

     There are a lot of red flags in this situation.  For one, I've helped many people, with thousands of dollars, yet I have never met a person who had a PayPal account, credit cards and a vehicle, that needed help.  I'm sure there are plenty of people who want help but what they need is some counseling.  I've noticed many, many people living outside of their means.  You have got to prioritize what is important.  You can't buy an eight dollar pack of cigarettes, every day, but have no food in your refrigerator.  You can't make car payments on an eighty thousand dollar truck and live in an apartment receiving food stamps.  Prioritize!  Stop having a "me" attitude and quit being self-centered.  Think about others!  Look outside of yourself and you will find happiness!

No Matter How You Slice It, Guns Kill!

     I recently stated that I am neither for or against gun ownership, but after thinking about that statement I really have to admit that I am against guns, period.  I cannot justify the use of a gun for any reason.  I've heard arguments that guns are necessary to combat evil, and guns are necessary for protection etc., but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that the majority of people that are killed with guns are innocent victims.

     I was watching a program on CNBC, which I can't recall the name of, that was showing that 90% of the guns seized in Mexico came from the U.S.  That's terrible on a couple of different levels.  The story went into detail about the murder rate in Mexico and it told of many innocent victims being gunned down by drug cartels.  One story that stuck in my mind, and inspired this blog, was the intentional shooting of a seven year old boy.  A cartel blew his brains out as he exited the vehicle his father was driving.  I have children, including an eight year old son and when I saw those pictures and the mother was devastated, I was nearly in tears.  It was senseless.

     Unfortunately, this thing plays out all the time, everyday, in the United States.  People are losing their lives to gun violence and yet many Americans will fight to the death to keep their right to bear arms.  I have no argument for this.  I don't need one.  I cannot/will not argue with people who can overlook senseless deaths due to gun violence, in order to support their freedom to bear arms.  You can argue 'til you're blue in the face for your right to bear arms but that won't change my value of life over liberties.  I'm not paralyzed with fear that I have to carry a gun to protect my family!

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

From The Desk Of Gary Mason

     Most of the strongest, amazing people I know have been through some kind of serious adversity whether it be surviving a health issue, or losing a loved one, or drug addiction or molestation or any number of other catastrophic events that occur everyday.  What separates these people from everyone else is their ability to persevere through the adversity.

     The ability to rise over adversity is no easy feat.  The proof of that statement can be found in the number of people who take their own lives because they couldn't go on any longer.  The most recent suicide rate that I could find listed suicides worldwide at 10.07 per 100,000 thousand people.  (curr)

     That is an alarming and sad statistic.  However, it's not surprising that many people are suffering in a world that caters to a humans worst nature.  Where violence plays out like a video game and people are still sold in slavery, albeit the sex trade, where girls as young as 8 have been reported to have been abused.  In many countries, guns are carried more often than books, and children know how to clean and load an AK-47 before they've had their first kiss.  Drugs saturate the entire world and more people are addicted to some kind of substance than there are facilities to treat them.

     So, without continuing on with these depressing realities, my original intention was to bring light to the people who have overcome their circumstances and are better for having gone through them.  These people need to be recognized for their perseverance and abilities to make a better life not just for themselves but for others by sharing their difficulties and encouraging others to move forward and past their problems.

     I am thankful to be one of these people and I applaud and appreciate everyone who has moved past their circumstances.  God bless you all!

"Current Worldwide Suicide Rate." ChartsBin. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 July 2012. <http://chartsbin.com/view/prm>.

Is The Fist Bump Necessary?

     O.k., it's already been established that I'm old.  Heck, I've got people tryin' to tell me I can't see properly and may need glasses.  I've got gray hairs growing in places that hair really shouldn't be growing from in the first place.  And last, I've got kids that are old enough to have kids, however I'm not ready to be a grandpa yet!

     Anyways, I'm at a loss over this "fist bump" phenomenon that seems to have swept the world.  I don't understand why, after I get done having a conversation with another man, that man feels the need to bump fists together.  What is the significance in that gesture?  Is it necessary?  If you're asking me, the answer is an absolute NO!  It's not necessary.

     I'm not a touchy type of guy.  I don't feel the need to hug people upon meeting them or bumping fist before leaving them.  I am accustomed to the standard, firm handshake, eye contact and brief greeting, but other than that, I don't want to touch anyone.  Maybe I have some kind of phobia.  Call me crazy but I think it's ridiculous and a bit childish to bump fists with another man after having a conversation.

     It's gotten to the point where I may have to fist bump the same guy several times within a relatively short period of time.  That's silly.  And it's not just amongst casual acquaintances.  I've also had instructors and other professionals extend their fists out to be bumped like we just scored a touchdown in the Superbowl. 

     I tell you, people watch too much television.  Leave the fist bumping to the pro athletes and those individuals with the jock mentality.  There's too much bromance and affection going on between men already.  When you see me on the street, a head nod will do or a "what's up bro?" but lets quit the fist bump already!