Ode to the fair sex!

     It's been said that a relationship with a woman is similar to taming a wild horse.  The only difference is, the horse eventually cooperates.  Now calm down out there.  I'm married and I believe I've paid my dues when it comes to joking about relationships.  I know I'm gonna hear some "flapping" about that comment but hey, I'm a guy.  We get a pass when it comes to saying dumb things.

    Anyways, I love my wife 'til death do us part, but on a wider scale, I love ladies point blank.  They are the most beautiful creation God has put on this planet.  I tell you my days would be dismal if I had not a woman to admire.  I see tens of different women daily and I'm never disappointed.  I see some of the most beautiful young ladies, some exotic, but most, just plain out fine.  I see mature ladies who smile easily and are quick to converse.  I see all types of women and I tell you I can see beauty in every single one of them.

     I once read a statistic that stated the percentage of females to males in Arizona was 9 to 1.  I don't know if that's true, but if it is then this might not be such a bad place after all.

Memorial Day!

     Father, bless and protect the men and women, my Christian brothers and sisters, who carry you in their heart with honor as they serve in military endeavors around the world.  May they bring Your peace and grace wherever they go.

     That prayer was fully loaded with love from God for my Christian brothers and sisters that are in the military.  I'm trying to be careful here and show respect and thankfulness to those who serve in the military on this day of remembrance of American soldiers.

Medgar Evers

     I was thinking yesterday how I wanted to celebrate Memorial Day and I've decided to call back to memory people that I truly respect and honor and am thankful for their great achievements for all people.  I've got to start with the great Martin Luther King Jr.  He was killed months before I was born, by an assassin's bullet, yet the toil from his hands can still be felt today.  I can't put into words my admiration for this man and all that he stood for and believed in.  To me he is almost mythical and definitely legendary.  If I had an eighth of the fiber he was made of I would be outstanding.  Medgar Evers is next.  I read an article about him that said he was drafted and served in World War II and when he came back to the States, his home (Mississippi) was still segregated.  Instead of hearing cheers in a parade to honor the soldiers return, he heard things like "die nigger" and "go back to Africa, we don't want you here!"  This only fueled Medgars resolve for a better world, a world of equality and justice.  He too lost his life by assassination.

     These are two examples of outstanding citizens who I look to in awe for the things they stood for and the ultimate sacrifice they made so others could benefit.  These two are real American soldiers to me, and they fought the most dangerous and sinister enemy of all, AMERICA!!

Revelations

     I’ve had some revelations this morning.  One of them was, I’ve been having quite a few revelations as of late.  What’s been happening is, I’ve been able to recognize when God is talking to me.  I’m certain He has always been talking to me but I wasn’t always hearing Him.  I know when I was operating in my own power I wasn’t hearing squat.  I didn’t want to hear squat because hearing what God had to say at that time was contrary to how I wanted to live my life.  I could compare it to a rebellious teenager trying to find his own way in life and not wanting to listen to a parent’s guidance.  That’s the way I felt when it came to doing the things my flesh wanted to do.  I knew in my heart that the things my flesh indulged in were wrong i.e. adultery, fornication, drug use, gambling, cursing, violence and more, but I wanted to do those things so I ignored the gentle tugging of my heart and continued to do all of those things and then some.

      I’ve repented from those sins, thankfully, and now I’m able to move forward.  Not only that, God is so awesome He is able to use those things that I had done in my past as a way to reveal Himself  (through a ministry from me) to others, who may be going through similar trials as I was.  Romans 8:28 says, “All things work for the good, for those who love The Lord and are called according to His purpose!”

     This brings me to my second revelation this morning, which was, God uses a lot of people, with many ministries, to  reach the masses.  It’s awesome.  I was watching Dr. Charles Stanley, and he was ministering to an older crowd, then I was watching Dr. Creflo Dollar and he was ministering to a mainly African-American crowd, Joyce Meyer was ministering to a largely feminine crowd and it all showed me that God uses many people to promote His kingdom.

     He has called me to minister to those who are struggling with addictions and the Good News is, I heard Him!

Don't forget where you came from!

     Creflo Dollar was on fire this morning.  Man, hearing him speak gave me inspiration and fed my soul strength and positivity.  I left the house this morning with "pep" and a resignation and desire to be positive and happy.  The power of words is infinite.

     Anyways, Cref was in the book of Deuteronomy chapter 8.  Some of my highlights from that chapter are: "real life comes by feeding on every word of the Lord", and "When you have eaten your fill, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you.  Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations and laws.  For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, that is the time to be careful.  Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery(addiction for me) in the land of Egypt.  Do not forget he led you through the great and terrifying wilderness(every day life) with poisonous snakes and scorpions(things that can kill you), where it was hot and dry!"  Man that's hot!!

     At one point in my life I was financially successful, had my own business, house, car, lovely wife and 2.5 kids.  I had lots of friends and I was at the top of my peers when it came to dj's in Reno and I might dare say the West Coast. Anyways, I took credit for all that I had, giving no thanks to The Father and The Son Jesus Christ for anything.  I "thought" I did all of that.  I thought I was the one who brought me to that point but I soon found out that I didn't do anything.  I couldn't even hold on to any of it.  Because of my arrogance and short-sightedness, I lost all of that.  I spiraled downward and went to a dark place of self-pity, resentment, anger, addiction and general negativity.  Thankfully God had different plans for me.  I love you Father!

     Anyways, take a look at where you're at and think about how you got there.  Give thanks and credit where it is due!

Why is "crass" behavior tolerated?

my "upset" look!

     I have finals this week and the final in my Digital Pre-production class was disappointing.  First, I had to watch a short film produced by my instructor entitled Rude Awakening.  I don't believe I can fairly critique the piece as I found the material offensive and shocking.  The story basically was about a woman in an abusive relationship with her husband.  In one scene he rapes her and quite honestly I don't enjoy watching these types of films.

     After watching the film I felt sick to my stomach.  I still feel a bit upset now, and it's been a few hours since I've seen it.  Watching that film caused me to ponder the direction our society has gone as far as profanity, sexuality and tolerance of poor behavior.  Everyday, twenty-four hours a day, we are bombarded by graphic images on television, movies, and internet, in music videos, and video games of violence, sex and all kinds a depravity.  I swear the "F" word has become as socially acceptable as saying "hello" to your pastor.  It's ridiculous.  I'm very happy and proud that I'm not de-sensitized to crude and foul behavior.  What you do in private is your business.  What you do around me is another issue.  I can tolerate a lot of b.s. and I have for quite some time, but I feel myself changing as more people around me think they can say whatever they want to say and "think" I'm cool with it.

     I'm tellin you, a lot of people should be thankful that I've chosen to follow Jesus Christ and I don't operate by my flesh anymore because that's the only thing saving them from an ass whooping of the likes they have never seen before.  I'm probably wrong for saying that but unfortunately that's how I feel and it is a direct result of the things I was subjected to earlier today.

Hot Scripture!!!

     Galatians 2:20-21 "I myself no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  So I live my life in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself for me.  I am not one of those who treats the grace of God as meaningless.  For if we could be saved by keeping the law, then there was no need for Christ to die!"

     I can't imagine going through this life without The Father and The Son Jesus Christ.  When I look back over the years while I was living in my flesh and doing what I wanted to do, I wasn't happy.  I wasn't living a life worth living.  I was selfish, self-centered and spiritually asleep.  Thankfully, God loves me so much He never gives up on me and guides me through life.  I surely do not want to live the way I use to.

     Strive to please God.  That means letting go of self and trusting God, completely.

Finals this week!

     Man, I've got finals this week.  I'm a bit stressed, not too much though.  I'm good at written tests, but hands-on demonstrations are a different story.  That's what I've got to do for my Field Production I class.  I've got to set up a Sony DSR250 camera on a tripod properly with microphone attached.  Then, a tech is going to "mess" with all of the settings and I have to put them back in order so the camera can function.  That may not sound like a big deal but for me it is.  For one, I have less than an hour of experience behind this camera.  I really don't know the camera at all.  We have to pass this part of the test in order to be able to check the camera's out for projects and if you can't tell, I don't have a lot of confidence in my skills right now.

     Anyways, I have finals in Math098(Basic college math) and Digital Pre-Production.  I feel good about Pre-production because I've already been successful in that class. Math however is questionable.  The title may be "basic" math, but there ain't nuthin' basic about it for me.  I graduated high school back in '87 so I haven't seen nor used math for quite awhile.  It ain't like ridin' a bike where you never forget.  I don't remember there being letters of the alphabet in math.  They're asking me questions like solve for x and I'm like this, if you don't know what x is, well then neither do I.  How am I supposed to solve for x when you haven't given me enough information?  And why do you want this information anyways?  My instructor told me that if I'm able to solve these problems I can apply the logic of problem solving to any problem I may come across.  Ya, I'm gonna try that the next time my wife and I have a disagreement.  If she doesn't agree with me then the solution maybe that she is the "x" (lol).

      This just in:  I aced the written part of the test and passed the certification part of it.  Thank you Jesus!  With Him, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE!!

Community Service

     This morning(5a.m.) I went to Encanto Park to do five hours of community service by picking up trash that was left behind by park users the day previous.  That in itself is not a big deal, however I am quite amazed and dismayed at how people would leave so much trash behind.  It's like they have a party and then decide it's time to go home and they just get in their cars and go about their business leaving everything disposable at the site like they know someone is going to clean up behind them.  I mean, the nerve of some people.

     All that trash left behind made me wonder what the people who left it there, what their houses looked like.  I'm betting as filthy as how they left the park.  I mean who leaves their trash around with no concern for others?  What type of person thinks they can leave their trash behind for others to see?  I'll tell you what type of person.  A trashy one.  If you can't pick up after yourself, no wait.  If you can't carry yourself in such a manner that you don't make a mess, then in my opinion you're a piece of $#!+.  I'm talking about grown folks who should know better than to leave trash everywhere they go.  I swear that's some of the laziest behavior I've ever seen.  There are no less than a hundred trash cans all over the park yet these people can't or won't put their trash in them.

     The sad part is, this is a daily occurrence on a wide scale.  I just can't understand it.  I was raised to clean up after myself but more importantly to be an orderly person.  You can gain insight into a persons life by how they carry themselves.  If your home is not in order then your life is probably not in order.  If you can leave trash anywhere and everywhere you go, you don't care about anyone, not even yourself.  That's pretty sad.

    

The heart of Racism

     Here's another subject that I was going to skirt but against better judgement I will add my two cents worth.  I will tell you that I've never understood racism.  I've experienced quite a bit of it but I've never understood it.  I grew up in Reno, Nevada which is over 60% Caucasian.  Some recent stats showed the population for Reno at a little over two hundred thousand with nearly six thousand of those being Black.  I know when I was in high school, there were about twenty Blacks out of two thousand students in the entire student body.  I could tell you some horror stories about my coming of age but I'm not writing this to relive that negativity.  Instead I wanted to shed some light on my background and how I view people in general.

     My parents didn't raise me to see the differences of color in people.  My parents were born in the late 1940's and grew up in Mississippi at a time when the United States was segregated but moving toward equality for all people.  I've studied history and I've seen the images in books and on television of how the United States use to be.  I don't think I would've done very well during slavery times, not that the people that were going through that were doing well.  I just don't think I have the fortitude to have survived during that period.  I would have loved to have seen Martin Luther King Jr. during his heyday, but I don't think I would have done well in that time period either.  I have a natural aversion to hate and violence.

     This is where I lack understanding.  I don't understand how people can hate.  Yes, I do hate too.  I hate ignorance.  I really do.  I don't hate people who are ignorant, I hate their ignorance.  I'm ignorant in some areas myself and I hate that too, but I've never hated a person for their color, or their beliefs or anything else for that fact.  I believe that is a true signature of a Christian.  Christ commands love.  If there is true love in your heart there won't be room for hate.  Take time to know people.  Quit being judgmental.  If you're the kind of person that harbors hate and resentment towards others, you need to realize that ultimately you are hurting yourself the most.  It is you who is suffering from your own will.  Think about why you would intentionally want to hurt yourself.  I believe you will have a revelation by looking into yourself.  Let go of hate, it is not only destructive toward others but it will also destroy you!

How do you measure prosperity?

     What is your idea of prosperity?  Is it doing well financially, say making more than quarter of million annually?  Owning a home in the same range or more, a couple of cars, cell phones, laptops, Xboxes, Ipads, designer clothing, jewelry, etc.?  All of that sounds good to me.  I would say that if you have those things you could consider yourself prosperous.  However, I think the telling factor is what you do with all that you have.  I mean, if you are prosperous but you're not sharing your prosperity with others, are you really prosperous?

     I don't have any of the stuff I mentioned above.  My total income for 2010 was under five thousand dollars however I consider myself very prosperous.  First, I love The Father and The Son, Jesus Christ.  I realized I needed God in my life because my life without Him was unhappy, unfulfilling and disastrous.   At one point I was extremely selfish and self-centered as I indulged my flesh and spent large sums of money on drugs and material items.  I can easily total out my expenditures on drugs and trinkets to over $250,000.00 dollars.  That's an underestimate by at least a hundred thousand dollars.  That's shameful.  Out of all that money I don't have any material items to show for it.  None.  I've got a lot of war stories, a lot of shame, a lot of remorse.  I've also got a unique perspective on life.  I no longer run through money like $#!+ through a goose.  I appreciate what I do have which is considerable.

      I do seek to reach a higher financial plateau so I can extend God's kingdom further.  I want to bless as many people as possible.  I can be and am a blessing to people now, even though I'm not financially rich.  You don't have to have money to be a blessing to someone else.  Giving other resources like time, service to others, food, clothing and shelter when possible can also bless others.  I think some of the richest people in the world are not rich because of finances but because of a good heart.  That's how I measure prosperity!

Sobriety tip #247

     #247-Stay busy.  If you want a successful recovery, stay busy.

     My daily schedule is so busy, I don't have time to think about getting high let alone actually doing it.  Monday thru Thursday I'm up at 4 a.m. and I don't get home until 7:30 p.m.  Friday thru Sunday I'm up around 6 a.m. catching up on housework and homework and attending church services, coaching t-ball, spending time with family etc.  I purposely keep my schedule busy as I go through my first year of sobriety.  So far it's been working!!!

How much do I love this woman?

Mr. and Mrs. Mason

     I don't know if I can do justice in this blog to my wife.  It's her birthday and I've got to thank God for His creation in her.  She is an incredible woman.  I tell you the nearly seven years we've been married have been nothing short of miraculous.  I'm certain there is no other woman who could be my wife.  I am a piece of work and it takes a special woman to be able take on this thing I call my life.  Yet here she is, in all her glory, walking by my side like she belongs there.  And she does.  Thank you Father for sending her to me.  Thank you for not letting me mess it up and miss out on the wonderful gift which is Jori.

Emanuel and Extavius

     How did my wife tell me she loved me?  With two incomparable sons, Extavius and Emanuel.  She came into my life and healed a part of me that was damaged by past love.  Not only that, but she built up a part of my being that was lost in self-pity and despair.  She stayed by my side as I tried to self-destruct.  She never gave up on us.  She held her ground and went toe to toe with me, never backing down, even when I tried to push my weight on her(and I ain't no little guy!).  Thank you Father for her.  Through you Father I have found what a real friend looks like and acts like and it's my wife.

      I love you Jori with all of my being, all of my spirit and all of my soul.  I am the true beneficiary of our union.  I cherish our time together.  I look forward to our future together and I want to thank you for being an excellent mother to our boys and an extraordinary wife and my best friend.  I love you!

T.V. or not T.V.? That is the question

     My family has some serious issues when it comes to television.  First issue is, I don't want any t.v.'s in the house.  I'm tired of television and I believe we, as a family, could spend our time in a productive manner less the television.  I don't know exactly how much time we spend in front of the t.v. but my guess is around five hours a day.  To me, that's too much.  In those five hours we could be doing other things such as having quality family time, helping others in our community, reading, writing, exercising, cleaning the house etc.  I can think of a lot of other ways to spend time than to sit and watch questionable programming.

      The next issue we have is, we have cable.  That may not sound like a problem to you but it is to me because neither my wife nor I are employed or have had gainable employment since 2008.  We can't afford cable yet, my wife insisted we get it.  I am not happy about this and have expressed my opinions to my wife with no compromise.  It's ridiculous.  If we are able to pay nearly $60 dollars a month on cable, then we should be able to at least tithe as much, but we don't.  To me, that's self-centered thinking.  Take care of our petty needs first before giving back to The Father and The Son, Jesus Christ.  My wife and I are not on the same page on this issue.  For all of the things God has done for our family(and it's been a lot), and we can't come together and show Him how much we love Him and appreciate Him by being obedient to Him and give back to Him what is His anyways, is shameful and embarrassing.  We don't have the things we have because we earned it, believe that.  Everything we have is because of the Grace of God.

     Anyways, I had to get that out.  It's been bothering me for awhile and I do feel anger and resentment building up inside of me.  I love you Father.  Please forgive us for our shortcomings and guide us with your love and grace.  Amen!

In the Addict Issue #6 Vol. 2 Principles before Personalities

     I went to a twelve-step meeting tonight and the group topic was "principles before personalities" after which people were able to discuss what this meant to them.  As I eagerly awaited my turn to expound on the subject, I heard several other people say some things of interest.  One gentleman went on to say that it meant he had to smash his ego in order to succeed in recovery.  I agree with him though I would word it differently and say that I choose to follow Christ and live in The Holy Spirit rather than follow my flesh(ego) and live life according to how I wanted to.

     I spent a lot of time living in the flesh and doing what I wanted.  I did all sorts of ungodly acts which all led to misery, though I thought I was enjoying them.  I didn't recognize any principles and I was capable of doing anything.  I certainly wasn't following any scripture and therefore I stayed immature and self-centered for an extended period of time.  My life was a wreck, unmanageable according to twelve-step standards or any decent persons standards for that fact.

     Fortunately, I came to my senses and re-committed myself to following Jesus Christ.  That act in itself has made all the difference in my life and my faith continues to grow stronger.  When you give God a chance to live in your life and you follow Him and you witness to His works, it is inevitable that you will gain strength in faith and all that comes with it!

Who do you give power to?

     I feel great today.  Thank you Father for this day.  I love all of you out there.  I hope I can be a blessing to someone today.

     Anyways, part of the reason I'm feeling great is due to the power of "kind" words directed toward me by a person of relevance in my life.  I guess, in essence, I've given this person a certain amount of power over my emotions as I respect her opinion and I view her as competent and intelligent.  I believe it's important that I clarify my thoughts about her because I deal with a lot of people daily and I don't feel that way toward everyone.  I don't judge people.  I also don't give everyone I meet power over me.  That's not a personal attack toward others but rather an intelligent and thoughtful way of strengthening myself by not allowing just anyone a measure of power over me.  In the past I use to be affected by the things people would do or say because I was allowing them a bit of power or control over me.  I had to quit doing that because I was on the verge of removing peoples heads from their shoulders.  I use to get "heated" quickly though I would keep it to myself and quietly seethe and loathe and plan the demise of those who trespassed against me.

     Fast forward to today and by the grace of God, counseling, kind words and a renewal in the belief that there are good people out there, I've made excellent progress toward gentleness and patience.  I'm able to tolerate others shortcomings without sacrifice to myself.

In The Addict issue #5 vol 2. Persistence

     My sobriety from twenty three years of substance abuse is an ongoing process.  I'm not writing this as a message to others as much as it is a reminder to me.  I have to be careful not to fall into the trap of complacency because a relapse is always possible, especially if life is going smoothly.

     First, I give all praise and thanks to The Father and The Son Jesus Christ for everything I have been given including my sobriety.  I couldn't achieve or maintain sobriety without the intervention of Jesus Christ in my life.  It's that simple.  I tried to get sober on my own, many times, and it never worked.

     Today, I am very blessed.  I don't struggle with addiction, and recovery is wonderful.  My life is great.  I don't want for anything and I'm thankful for everything.  Thank you Father.  I encourage my brothers and sisters who may be struggling in any aspect of their lives to consider giving God a chance to work.  I know at one point in my life, recently, I didn't think I was going to be able to give up drugs.  I was deep in addiction, up to $300 dollars a day in cocaine.  I couldn't control anything let alone myself.  Life for me was pathetic.  It was sad.  I was close to giving up on everything but thankfully The Father had other plans for me.  This letter to you is part of His plan.  I'm to give encouragement to others who are going through similar situations.  I'm to share with others how God works in my life and how He brought me through some extremely difficult trials.  I tell you, you don't have anything to lose and new life to gain.

                                     www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpFRXztF7Ho

Happy Mothers Day!

     Happy Mothers Day to all mothers around the world.  Today is a day of honor for mothers, yet everyday should be a day to honor mothers.  I love my momma and I'm proud to say I'm a "momma's" boy.  I don't know many men who aren't.  As men, our exteriors may portray rough and rugged, but our hearts will always belong to our mothers.  I've seen some of the biggest, hardest men soften up when their mothers are brought into a conversation.  I've witnessed more fights than I can remember over someone saying something negative about somebody's momma.  Shoot, I've even been the one to crack a head or two because of what someone said about my mother.  DO NOT speak negatively about a man's mother unless you intentionally want to shorten your life span.

     That being said, I love my mother more today than I ever have in my life.  There is no woman comparable to my mother.  She is the one woman in my life that has always been there for me, through thick and thin, good and bad.  She knows everything about me and still loves me unconditionally.  I've been in many relationships with women, married twice, and with the exception of my current wife, my mother is the only woman who continues to love me regardless of any faults I may have.

     I could go on and on about my mother.  She still cooks an incredible Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter turkey dinner that no one can duplicate.  She's as sharp, intellectually, today as she was forty years ago, if not more so.  She knows more about the San Francisco Giants than I'll ever know and she's an excellent grandmother.  Have a Happy Mothers Day Mom!  I love you!

My best friend died!

     My best friend passed away yesterday.  She was the best friend any man could ask for.  She was loving, and tender and was always there when you needed her.  She was the type of friend who didn't ask for much and never said a bad word to anyone.  She wasn't very good in a fight but surely knew how to make up after wards.  She was the kind of friend who was lowly in stature yet proved to be superior in a crowd of sophisticates.  She could handle rude comments about her body and she was often cold and sometimes bitter.  When she was around she had a refreshing spirit about her and she brought smiles to the lips of many a man though she was not promiscuous.

      There will be no replacement for her and I will miss her dearly.  So, to you, my love, rest in peace.  I'll always love you.

Monthly Court Blues

     Man, I made it through another day in court, and I didn't receive any jail sanctions, only two community service sanctions because I quit giving u.a.'s(urinary analysis) for alcohol.  I'm thankful that's all I received as punishment.  The judge was considering putting a device on my ankle to record any alcohol intake which would cost $70 a week.  The reason I quit taking the u.a.'s in the first place was because I didn't have the five dollars per test fee which came out to fifteen dollars a week.  Now if I couldn't come up with fifteen per week, how does the judge think I will be able to afford a $65 dollar increase per week?  The answer to that question is this, it's not his concern.

     I've been on probation since 2008 and it expires in 2011.  As I've stated in earlier posts, I have multiple requirements like classes, fees, meetings, community service, all of which must be met to successfully get through probation.  Not meeting any of those requirements can result in a sanction from community service to jail to probation revocation and prison time.

     I'm doing well on probation.  I've maintained sobriety from drugs longer than anytime I ever have previously during a twenty three year addiction.  That's a blessing.  The way I look at it is like this, the Lord brought about a means for me to be able to get past my temptation(drugs).  I don't necessarily agree with the way it was done but I am very thankful I've been given an opportunity to live a life the way Jesus suggests.  Not to get off of the original subject but I was thinking, again, about why it is so difficult for people to follow Jesus Christ.  I have found nothing in The Bible that is damaging or harmful.  Just the opposite.  The Bible offers solutions to the things that are harmful and damaging.

     Anyways,  I've been blessed again and I will continue to look for ways to improve myself and help others.

Osama has more power now, than ever!

     Slow week for me so I guess I'll beat some dead horses like the Osama story for a bit.  You know things are bad in the States when there is an uproar over the comments of a professional football player concerning politics.  First of all, do jocks have any business commenting on anything that doesn't have to do with sports?  Second, what kind of person takes seriously something that a person who makes millions of dollars chasing a ball around says?

     Pittsburgh Steelers running back Rashard Mendenhall tweeted yesterday, and I quote,  "What kind of person celebrates death? It's amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We've only heard one side..." Mendenhall didn't hold back, even making a reference to the Sept. 11 attacks. "We'll never know what really happened."  There's more to his tweet and you can look it up for yourself but it doesn't say anything extraordinary.

     My sentiments are the same as his and I posted my comments a couple days ago, which gave me an insight about most of my black brothers and sisters.  We(black people) don't view the events of 911, Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussien, George Bush or the United States in general, the same as our white counterparts.  Without speaking for ALL black people, I think I can safely say we don't believe a damn thing the United States government says.  There's a quote I heard years ago that I'll apply to The United States which goes, "you can't take the funk off a skunk!"  The United States is so crooked, vile, and sinister, and has been for hundreds of years, that it is impossible to believe that they are interested in anything other than the interests of it's elite citizens.

     I believe most blacks don't want to be associated with ANYTHING the U.S. is involved in.  I hope the rest of the world realizes this.  I know the U.S. is in other countries doing foul business.  How do I know this?  Because their doing it here.  What?  Am I supposed to believe that when they go elsewhere, they're on their best behavior?  Come on people.  Wake up and stand for something or fall for everything.  It's sad, and now you've got millions of Americans jumping around in joy and cheering USA, USA, over the death of Osama.  I tell you, there are going to be a lot of sad and painful days ahead for Americans.  I can see it now.  When tragedy strikes, Americans will be looking to the government for protection and answers but they will be in shock and dismay when they find out it is the government behind their demise!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPg7-HNTbX8

Recovery is never ending!

     As I continue in my sobriety I have to remember that it is constant work.  My life is great and it's times like this that I am susceptible to relapse.  I don't have thoughts about using drugs, but I must remain vigilant in my resolve to abstain. I've found that if I share what I've been through, and what has been working for me with others, it really helps.  I am accountable to others for my actions, which is something I avoided when I was getting higher than giraffe hair.

     So, I've started my second series entitled Bridge To Recovery which deals with the importance of including others in the process of recovery.  In this series, I've asked other recovered people to share their knowledge and experience in recovery in an effort to show the benefits of reaching out to others.  I tell you that it isn't easy for me to ask anyone for anything, especially help.  One of the effects of drug use is the isolation that it puts you in.  Drug use keeps you focused on the drug and yourself which in turn keeps you away from others.  It makes you feel insignificant and unworthy of others attention and ultimately alone.  That's where I was at for a long period of time and I'm finding that it's difficult to associate with others.  It's okay.  My recovery is important to me so I've forced myself to step outside of myself and do some things I haven't done in years like strike up conversations with people I otherwise wouldn't say a word to.  Because of that, I've learned I have more in common with others than I previously thought.

     I've been fortunate enough to forge new relationships with respectable, intelligent people like my brother in Christ Reginald Malbrue.  This man has been an inspiration to me as he is one of the few genuine people I've met during my recovery process.  I've discovered the power of friendship, and how it is helpful and necessary while battling addiction.  I'm thankful.

      Follow the link and watch the new video!

                                               http//:www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPg7-HNTbX8

Osama Bin Laden is dead! So what does it mean to YOU?

    "As I live, saith the Lord GOD, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked turn from his way and live…" (Ezekiel 33:11)

     What does Osama's death mean to me?  Nothing.  Not a thing.  Why should it?  I know very little, factual, information about this man.  How can I applaud or mourn the loss of someone I don't know anything about?

     I can already hear the moaning and groaning out there about this issue and I guarantee there is going to be some backlash over my controversial opinion on the matter.  Whoop dee doo!  It is unfortunate that so many people don't have a clue as to who Osama is or, the bigger picture, the machinations of The United States of America.  Heck, I'm one of those people.  However, I'm intelligent enough to know I don't know much.  There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions, of people who know less than I do, yet that doesn't stop them from showing their gross ignorance.  I digress.

     I'm only going to touch on a few things I've heard this morning and last night regarding Osama's death.  First, Osama has been heralded as the mastermind behind the terror attacks on The United States on September 11th, 2001.  I'm going to step out on a limb here and tell you that the masterminds behind 911 are still walking this earth and their skin color is not brown.  Shocker, I know.  Calm down, it's not the end of the world, yet.  As I write this, people are cheering and patting each others backs on a job well done over the death of Osama, yet American soldiers are still engaged in war against terrorism all over the globe in the name of FREEDOM.  Really?  You mean to tell me someone is using weapons to kill other people so I can have rights in The United States?  I didn't realize there was a threat, OUTSIDE of The U.S., to my rights.  Imagine that.  I can picture a bunch of Muslims sitting around a large table having a meeting talking about, "those sick and demented Americans.  We're going to put an end to their gay marriages, abortions and Jerry Springer!"

     Let me tell you something.  If American soldiers are killing others and dying in the line of duty so I can marry another man, then they might as well come back to the States, because that and every other American right they are fighting for is bull$#!t.  I fear NO THREAT FROM ANY MAN and not because I'm some kind of baddass, but because I love The Lord Jesus Christ and through him I have no fear.  That being said, what other people do, in any country, that may pose a threat to my well being, is not a concern for me.  I pray for those people and hope they can find peace within themselves.

     Now if you want to know where a legitimate threat lies at to your rights and freedom, you don't have to look any further than the United States.  Everyday in the United States, we are bombarded with messages and images that promote "group thinking" and "irrational paranoia".  There are more than a few Americans that believe what they see on television and what they read in print as gospel truth.  More than a few Americans are "lazy" when it comes to actually investigating information and researching issues that come before them.  I'm guilty of this, this is why am able to say it, because it really isn't a secret.  Americans are ignorant to a lot of truths and reality.  Knowing this fact is not an insult, but actually an empowerment tool and a challenge to those who think otherwise.  Stop and think for a moment on the actual implications of the terrorist attacks on 911.  It is so complex that it can be interpreted in an infinite amount of ways.

     So how does the average American dissect the plethora of information out there?  They don't.  They accept what they are told by "competent sounding people" and then wait for further instructions.  That's sad.  When you don't challenge or investigate what you've learned or been told, you cheat yourself out of your right to know what is actually occurring.  A lot of issues that are coming in front of Americans are so complex, most Americans would rather be told what to think than to actually think for themselves.  This reaction is planned.  Make something really hard to understand and the masses will look for easy solutions.  One of those solutions was to declare war and tell Americans their freedom is in jeopardy.  I have yet to meet a fellow American who could tell me exactly why our troops are in Afghanistan fighting.  The most common answer I get is, "they're over there to find the people responsible for 911".  I've also been told, "they're fighting for our freedom" and that "freedom isn't free!"

     I could go on and on but I will sum it up like this.  Osama's death has no meaning to me other than he's another human who had died yesterday.  There were hundreds of thousands of people who died yesterday and I'm betting more than ten of them have more significance to me than Osama does!

Can you hear God?

     First I must reiterate that going to church recharges my spiritual batteries.  That's how I feel today as I am fresh from services and once again feel great.  As soon as I found my seat I felt the weight of the past week fall off me like dirty work clothes.  I was considering this phenomenon and concluded that my spirit is lifted not only because I'm in the presence of The Lord Jesus Christ, but because I am in fellowship with others.  I realized that I enjoy being around other people who love The Lord as I do.  It renews my faith, as I am not around as many people who love The Lord during the week.  That fact in itself is trying and challenging.  I'm constantly bombarded with anti-Christian beliefs and ideology and tested by patience and tolerance.  I strive to rid myself of self-centeredness and become selfless.  Those are tall orders, but worth the pursuit.

Sr. Pastor Brian Anderson

     Anyways, my pastor started a new series entitled, How do we hear God's Voice?  Today's sermon touched on who can hear God's voice along with scripture teaching how to hear God's voice.  A verse that caught my attention was Luke 12:11-12 which states, "And when you are brought to trial in the synagogues and before rulers and authorities, don't worry about what to say in your defense, for the Holy Spirit will teach you what needs to be said even as you are standing there."  That's hot.  Imagine not having to worry about what to say to someone in authority or with more authority than you.  All you have to do is rely on Jesus Christ for everything and He will guide you on what to say and do in all situations.  I don't know about you but I can't refuse a deal like that.  I face all types of authorities including judges, probation officers, police officers, my wife, instructors and classmates.  I tell you, I depend on Jesus to be able to speak to everyone, because if I speak in my own power I have a tendency to say harsh, cutting words.  Without Christ, I don't have a filter to stop the insensitive, cruel words that otherwise circle in my head waiting for an opportunity to make an appearance.

     Secondly, I actually do wait for The Lord to give me the words to speak before I speak them.  I use to "rehearse" conversations in my head prior to having them with others.  For awhile this was useful as it allowed me to sharpen my tongue in order to be able to cut as deeply as possible.  The problem with that was, I was cutting myself the most.  Thankfully, The Father has shown me the errors of my way and presented me with a better option when dealing with others.  He's given me His Word.  All I have to do is apply it.  A lot of people believe living by The Word is difficult, but like Joyce Meyer stated, "it's harder to live without it."  It's hard to live a life of deception, adultery, fornication, debauchery, thievery and murder.  That's a hard way to live.

     Fortunately, we are able to choose how we live.  We don't have to live an indecent and immoral life.  If we are sinning, we don't have to stay in sin.  We can choose to live according to The Word of God.  Honestly, I don't see why it is such a difficult decision for some.  I pray, all of you who are reading this, consider your actions and strive to live peaceful, righteous lives!