Announcing my retirement has caused key people in my life to spiral downward to dark places and remedial thinking while spewing venomous words of hate, disgust and disbelief because of my life choices. Imagine that.
I recently turned the big 5 0. A few years earlier I graduated from an Art school with a B.A. in Film and Video. It was shortly after that I decided to retire and move into the next chapter of my life which initially consisted of caring for my disabled wife and my sons. I'm blessed to be in a position where I can be at home and still maintain a quality life. I'm far from monetary wealth yet my family is lacking nothing. I don't pretend to have everything figured out but I am thankful for each day and I try to learn from every interaction and situation I go through. I tell you, not a day goes by that I am not amazed by the things I see and hear. I see a lot of people struggling, hurting, dying. My heart grieves for people who are without any hope for anything good. I have so much more than so many of the people around me that I sometimes feel bad and embarrassed like I'm not doing anything of substance or enough to help. And I'm not.
So, I chose to go a different route than the "status quo" (a)merican blueprint to marginal success which, from my own observations and interpretation, consists of minimal education, followed by incurred debt, employment, more times than not, that diminishes ones life instead of enhancing it, creating a family unit, incurring more debt, chasing after more finance, acquiring more materials and then essentially staying in that cycle until life has been spent. Not many are truly living or truly happy and that is by their choice.
I purposely choose life and happiness and joy. As crazy as it sounds, I have to actually "fight" for my peace and happiness. The thought of me enjoying life instead of being a sleeping slave to it, sets many humans and non-human entities into a hateful frenzy that causes them even more anguish and ultimately premature death.
I refuse to follow after people who have never known love or happiness and have no compassion for others or the ability to control what comes out of their mouths.
I've decided to enjoy life as long as I have it, thankful for all I have been given and grateful God is Good!
Me and My Boys
Saturday, July 13, 2019
Friday, February 26, 2016
Flag Waver I'm Not!
I was recently at an event where everyone in the room stood up and began to "Pledge Allegiance To The Flag Of The united states Of america." While they stood up, I stayed seated and continued writing on my laptop. Later, when discussing this with my children, my son asked me why I didn't stand and recite the pledge. This is what I told him.
First and foremost, I don't support or subscribe to the machinations of american society or it's beliefs. I cannot consciously pledge allegiance to a country that is actively, and has been for centuries, trying to exterminate my race. I went on to elaborate about the consistent police brutality that is rampant in america including the recent deaths of 12 year old Tamir Rice who was executed by police who said he was threatening their lives with an air-soft gun, and the jail lynching of Sandra Bland who was an active civil rights activist, the murder of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman who was later found innocent and applauded by many americans for "Standing His Ground!" The list of names of Black Americans killed over the last five years is extensive. A statistic I happened upon states: "Despite making up only 2% of the total US population, African American males between the ages of 15 and 34 comprised more than 15% of all deaths logged this year(2015) by an ongoing investigation into the use of deadly force by police. Their rate of police-involved deaths was five times higher than for white men of the same age."
Next, I told my son about some of the horrific things american soldiers do in other countries, including rape, murder and theft of innocent civilians. Many americans want to turn a blind eye to these things and act like they aren't happening or simply don't care, but that is not me. I am appalled and ashamed of what these soldiers and our government do in the name of Democracy and "the american way!" Death, hate, deception, perversion, and immorality I do not subscribe to.

I continued my discussion with my son by telling him how the KKK has infiltrated and infused itself in many levels of american society, including lawmakers, politicians, judges, police and everyday businessmen. They perpetuate an undercurrent of hate and fear of Blacks and minorities and would undermine the very foundation of the u.s. if allowed to stay on the current course.
These are just a few of the very serious reasons why I don't "Pledge Allegiance," and I told my children that when they are able to understand broader concepts of society and life, they can choose to do what they want to!
First and foremost, I don't support or subscribe to the machinations of american society or it's beliefs. I cannot consciously pledge allegiance to a country that is actively, and has been for centuries, trying to exterminate my race. I went on to elaborate about the consistent police brutality that is rampant in america including the recent deaths of 12 year old Tamir Rice who was executed by police who said he was threatening their lives with an air-soft gun, and the jail lynching of Sandra Bland who was an active civil rights activist, the murder of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman who was later found innocent and applauded by many americans for "Standing His Ground!" The list of names of Black Americans killed over the last five years is extensive. A statistic I happened upon states: "Despite making up only 2% of the total US population, African American males between the ages of 15 and 34 comprised more than 15% of all deaths logged this year(2015) by an ongoing investigation into the use of deadly force by police. Their rate of police-involved deaths was five times higher than for white men of the same age."
Next, I told my son about some of the horrific things american soldiers do in other countries, including rape, murder and theft of innocent civilians. Many americans want to turn a blind eye to these things and act like they aren't happening or simply don't care, but that is not me. I am appalled and ashamed of what these soldiers and our government do in the name of Democracy and "the american way!" Death, hate, deception, perversion, and immorality I do not subscribe to.

I continued my discussion with my son by telling him how the KKK has infiltrated and infused itself in many levels of american society, including lawmakers, politicians, judges, police and everyday businessmen. They perpetuate an undercurrent of hate and fear of Blacks and minorities and would undermine the very foundation of the u.s. if allowed to stay on the current course.
These are just a few of the very serious reasons why I don't "Pledge Allegiance," and I told my children that when they are able to understand broader concepts of society and life, they can choose to do what they want to!
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
The Enemy Is Defeated, Again!
For arguments sake, let's say all religion, and particularly Christianity and The Bible, are man-made creations solely for the purpose of brainwashing and controlling people. This is a common argument I hear, especially from some pro-Black people who believe that Christianity is the "white-man's" religion and that it was created to keep Black people in subjugation and blinded to their true destiny.Well, if that's true, that plot has failed monumentally and miserably. I personally know a lot of people who have found Christ and have gained insight, peace, joy and love when once they never knew of it. Everywhere I look I see examples of people who walk in Christ's love and because of it they are able to do extraordinary things like forgive others for heinous trespasses and heal from vicious attacks on their mind, body and spirit. One recent example is the Charleston Church shooting of June 17th 2015 when Dylann Roof walked into Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church and killed 9 people. As tragic as that was, many of the relatives of the deceased FORGAVE Dylann and even prayed for him. Do you know how much power and love you have to have to be able to forgive a man that has killed your loved ones? That kind of power only comes from one place, it's God-given to believers! So the theory of religion being man-made for purposes of subjugation is invalidated because many people are GAINING power, not succumbing to it. I can easily list HUNDREDS, if not thousands of other examples but I won't at this time so I can make my point quickly.
So, for you haters, scoffers, rebukers of God, let me show you something. You revel in your false sense of self but actually wallow in hate which is BONDAGE and sadly you don't know how to get out of that trap so you put a fake smile on your face and try to pretend you are enjoying life but every time hate comes out of your mouth you are speaking volumes on the true condition of your heart. You sad, fearful, hate-blinded people I pray for you!
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Foot In Mouth Disease, No One Is Immune!
I was hoping and praying that when I reach an age of maturity I would be immune to making poor decisions but as far as I can tell, even age isn't a buffer against ignorance. Case in point is 77 year-old Don Harris, who is the current leader of the Phoenix chapter of the N.A.A.C.P, also known as the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. This guy went on record to speak about an incident involving six teenage girls use of "nigger" at a school function. Sometime during his conference, he turned to a female reporter and said, "nice tits!"
Now, I know this is shocking, considering this is a senior citizen, former attorney and well respected in the community, but honestly I was more shocked when I looked at the article and discovered that Don Harris is, wait for it...Caucasian. Yes, I said it. He's an elder white man. Am I missing something here? Is there a shortage of Negroes and Hispanics in Arizona, that it was necessary for a white man to lead a historically minority based organization? I digress.Anyways, even at the ripe old age of 77, people are still putting their feet in their mouth. This doesn't give me any hope of reaching a "magical age" where I don't have to worry about what I say or do. I thought as a senior citizen I would have earned the right to say whatever I wanted to, but that obviously isn't the case. Obviously, no one is immune, BUT, this is a totally preventable disease. One just has to think before they speak! Sounds so simple.
Saturday, January 23, 2016
How Black Do I Have To Be To Be Black!
A lot of you probably don't realize how hard it is to be and stay Black, (just ask Michael Jackson or Sammy Sosa). I never thought of it as being an issue until my Blackness was called into question. And of all people to call my Blackness into question, would be other Black people, imagine that! Isn't it bad enough that I endure constant adversity simply because of the color of my skin, and now I have to be questioned, ridiculed, chastised and mocked by people of the same race?I swear, ignorance is a killer, but unfortunately it's a slow killer as witnessed by the many ignorant people that walk this earth. I mean, how ignorant is it to be divisive amongst your own race? How can one win the battle against racism when racism is interwoven in the minds of the very people that suffer from it? Seems nearly impossible and one can definitely see a supernatural influence on these events.
Anyways, I have been called, coon, uncle tom, show monkey(lol), house nigger and the list goes on, all by, wait for it... other Black people. Crazy. I never respond negatively to these comments because, as I stated previously, names don't move me. Call me what you want, just don't call me late for dinner.
It's interesting that sometimes I feel compelled to try and appease my doubters and do what they would consider "black" actions. However, before I do that, I always remember that I don't give a f*ck what these dumb muthafatha's think and therefore all I have to do is stay Black and die!
What's crazier than Black people hating on other Black people? Non-Black people emulating Black people. Man, if there was only one thing I could advocate to people, it would be, "be yourself!" I have way more respect for the man that is his own man than the dude who is trying to be "like Mike!" Be proud of who you are, Black, white, red, brown or yellow, most of us bleed red! To my Black doubters: If you question my blackness, just ask the police, they'll tell you who and what I am!
Woe Is Me! Someone Called Me A Name!
Sigh...How long will it take you people to grow and mature? I've only got 74 more years with you, so time is of the essence.Let's get started. Recently some young girls took a picture at school that had a racial slur printed on their shirts. Their shirts spelled out "NI**ER" and because of it they are going to be disciplined. They say they did it because they wanted to "spark dialogue" about the word nigger and it's use. Well, they certainly sparked something, more like ignited an already explosive situation but that's neither here nor there.
When are people going be comfortable with themselves? When are they going to grow outside of the small frame of their skull and free their mind from meaningless drivel? It's a hard and sad life to live when you are hindered by self-imposed limitations especially like those as childish as name calling.
I don't know about you but I pride myself on the ability of not being able to be defined by others. How would I feel if I let every Tom, Dick and Barry have a piece of my peace? Do you know what my name is? Then call me by it. Any other name has no power UNLESS I GIVE IT POWER! Come on people, this is kindergarten logic. How can you be in a full-grown body and have a child's mind? Sigh...I digress. Let's try to expand our minds by first understanding that we control ourselves. The power is ours, no one else! That being said, if you're offended by names then essentially you are the name that has offended you!
Friday, January 22, 2016
I'm Stupid!
It's official, I'm stupid. Now for all of you positive, "don't talk bad about yourself" people, calm down. It's o.k. to critique yourself, honestly. Actually, it's necessary in order to continue to grow and better oneself, so just hear my logic on this one and you'll soon understand where I'm coming from.I just came to this slow realization of my stupidity a couple of days ago. You know, it's very common that stupid people don't know they are stupid and I am no exception obviously. Ever since I can remember, I've prided myself on my intelligence, so it was a sad surprise to discover my stupidity but it's been enlightening.
So what caused my epiphany was some comments made to me by a person close to me. The comments themselves weren't anything spectacular but it was the realization of how this person feels about me that awoke me from my slumber in grandiose. To my face, but under their breath, this person called me a dumbass, twice, and then later in the same day this person said they would be embarrassed to put me on speakerphone if they were at work. Again, these statements in themselves really aren't a big deal, UNTIL you put them into context, which in this case the context is, this person and I have known each other for well over a decade and I thought this person respected me as I do them. This obviously isn't the case and the really really sad part about this is, I've known this for probably as many years as we've known each other. I guess I wanted to believe this person didn't really think of me as a piece of shit, but I've finally realized from all these years and all the negative stuff this person has said about me to others and to my face, this person has no respect for me. And that's how I discovered I was stupid.
There's a saying I like that goes: When people die, they don't know they are dead but it affects the people around them, the same goes for stupid people. Stupid people rarely know they are stupid and this is what separates me from the rest of the stupid people. I realize I am stupid and because of that, I can kill my stupidity with the birth of my newly found knowledge! KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!!
"Apparently you actually have to have a little intelligence to know you're stupid. I, for one, am smart enough to know how dumb I am, and I'm okay with that. I'm still smarter than all my friends." ~ John Cleese
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
They Didn't Ask, So I Won't Tell!
One of the main reasons for contention between Christians and LGBTQ is that the LGBTQ crowd has never asked for the opinion of Christians, plain and simple. An unsolicited opinion is as offensive as an unwanted house guest who shows up at your home, right before you are going to leave, broke, stinking and hungry and needs a place to stay indefinitely lol.
Since the Supreme Court ruling on gay marriage, Christians have been up in arms over the meaning of this highly controversial decision. You can go to any social site and read numerous comments for and against gay marriage, traditional marriage, the meaning of life as God intended, biblical interpretations condoning love for all and the list goes on.
To me, it's really simple. I will not express my opinion UNLESS someone asks me for it, simple. Does anyone realize how ineffective it is to tell another person, who doesn't want to hear what you've got to say, your opinion? You'd be better off voting in the general election than you would be to tell another person your opinion of what's right and wrong, and you should know that voting is probably one of the most ineffective ways to get positive change, but I digress.
I have yet to have ANYONE from the LGBTQ crowd ask me if what I think they believe in is right or wrong. Sure, I've been inundated with their ideals. Almost everywhere I turn I see them promoting their agenda in social media, television, parades, billboards, magazines, movies, you name it, LGBTQ has their hand in it, stirring up the pot to push tolerance of their beliefs. Fine. I'll keep doing me. However, what I won't do is tell them what I think about them, UNLESS they ask, which they won't.
So Christians, here is my unsolicited advice to you: "Do Not Give What Is Holy To The Dogs; Nor Cast Your Pearls Before Swine, Lest They Trample Them Under Their Feet, And Turn And Tear You In Pieces" (Matthew 7:6"
Wednesday, April 1, 2015
Runnin' Them Streets
Here's a sad story about drug use: I recently invited some people over to my home that I once used to use drugs with. They are still using. They refused my invitation because they can't do their drugs in my home, so they'd rather pass up my hospitality of good entertainment and home cooking to continue using dope. Crazy....
Man, I can't say enough about the trials, tribulations, dangers and death that lurk in the streets. Forty five years strong and I tell you, if it wasn't for the mercy of God, I wouldn't be here today. Let's see, I've been jacked(mugged) three times, twice by gun, once by knife, but even beyond that, I live in the 'hood and deal with shady people day in and day out. Thing is, people out here in AZ don't know how to take me because I'm not from here, I don't act like the people out here and I don't exude fear. That being said, hood folks out here have classified me as police. Imagine that. That's cool though, 'cuz that tells me they're afraid of me for whatever reason.
Anyways, the life of drugs, hangin' and bangin', and bullsh*ttin' ain't about nothin'. The best day I ever had high has never been better than the worst day I've ever had sober. That's because being high on drugs ALWAYS led to misery, ALWAYS! Why would someone intentionally make themselves miserable? That's the question one should ask. I tell you from experience that I really don't know why I did it to myself. I've got a great life, very blessed, yet my nature is to run in these streets, indulging my flesh and doin' what the f*ck I want to do. A very sordid ordeal I must say.
Anyways, the life of drugs, hangin' and bangin', and bullsh*ttin' ain't about nothin'. The best day I ever had high has never been better than the worst day I've ever had sober. That's because being high on drugs ALWAYS led to misery, ALWAYS! Why would someone intentionally make themselves miserable? That's the question one should ask. I tell you from experience that I really don't know why I did it to myself. I've got a great life, very blessed, yet my nature is to run in these streets, indulging my flesh and doin' what the f*ck I want to do. A very sordid ordeal I must say.
So, even though I have no complaints, I can't say I'm universally happy. One thing about drug use is, it clouds the mind, it slows one down, killing dreams. Though I haven't used in awhile, I still experience the lifestyle as I see it almost everywhere I go. My neighbors use drugs, there's trap houses everywhere. There's two methadone clinics within a mile radius, so there are a lot of heroin addicts using dog food at the parks my kids play at. There's also a huge homeless community that also lives nearby and there are a lot of mentally ill people that walk the streets. Crazy bro, but that's a snapshot of what I see today!
Friday, March 27, 2015
Let's Dust The Rust Off!
Man, it's been awhile since I've posted here. Matter of fact it's been so long I forgot my login name and password. I had to do some research and guess work to get into my own account, imagine that.
Anyways, what's been going on in the world during my absence? A lot! Right now I'm just trying to get back into writing, so please bear with me if this post seems to rattle on. I've made a lot of progress since the last time I posted. I graduated college. Got a Bachelor of Arts in Film and Video. Got a job. Quit the job. Started my own business. Moved. Twice. Lost 50 pounds. That about wraps it up as far as being current. I've got a lot on my mind, and I plan on telling it to the world, or at least to those that may find it interesting. I've got a few loose ends to tie up, but I am back in the saddle so stay tuned for some good ish!
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Why do men deny their love for a woman?
This question was posed to me by a person I suspect is trying to solve the age old mystery, "what the heck is the opposite sex thinking?" I believe men will have a better chance of figuring out the proper formula through chemistry to create human blood than they will figuring out the inner workings of a woman. That being said, women can EASILY figure out everything there is to know about a man because we are simple creatures.
Back to the question at hand, Why do men deny their love for a woman? I could speak for all men but I'm going to field this one with my own personal knowledge and experience. First, denying my love for a woman has never occurred. That in itself has posed some problems considering society frowns on people who are not in monogamous relationships. Women also don't particularly like to know their man is not denying other women love while they are in a relationship with them. Right there are two reasons why a man may deny his love for a woman. Also, the John Wayne Bobbitt severing is still fresh in the minds of many men.
Those were reasons from a man that is in a committed relationship. What about men who are single? What reasons could they possibly have for denying their love for a woman? Right away I think of being afraid to make a commitment. A lot of men just aren't ready for, or just don't want to commit themselves to, any long-term relationships. Some men have been through painful experiences and can't quite trust that another relationship won't end up the same way. Other men are just immature and would rather hang with their buddies and have the occasional, "no-strings-attached" booty call. Another reason a man, or woman for that fact, may deny their love, is because there is none. A person can't deny something that was never there, nor can a person force something that was never there.
So let's take a look back at the reasons listed above:
◆ Society frowns on polygamous, open relationships
◆ Women frown on polygamous, open relationships
◆ John Wayne Bobbitt's genitals were really severed(cut-off)
◆ Fear of commitment
◆ Incapable of trust
◆ Immature
◆ Never was in love
Those are all reason that are obvious, or at least they are to me, but I do understand that some people try so hard to create a committed, loving relationship that they don't see obvious signs in front of them. I hope this will help someone understand that the problem really isn't them. It's a matter of being able to love oneself regardless of what anyone else thinks or does!
Back to the question at hand, Why do men deny their love for a woman? I could speak for all men but I'm going to field this one with my own personal knowledge and experience. First, denying my love for a woman has never occurred. That in itself has posed some problems considering society frowns on people who are not in monogamous relationships. Women also don't particularly like to know their man is not denying other women love while they are in a relationship with them. Right there are two reasons why a man may deny his love for a woman. Also, the John Wayne Bobbitt severing is still fresh in the minds of many men.
Those were reasons from a man that is in a committed relationship. What about men who are single? What reasons could they possibly have for denying their love for a woman? Right away I think of being afraid to make a commitment. A lot of men just aren't ready for, or just don't want to commit themselves to, any long-term relationships. Some men have been through painful experiences and can't quite trust that another relationship won't end up the same way. Other men are just immature and would rather hang with their buddies and have the occasional, "no-strings-attached" booty call. Another reason a man, or woman for that fact, may deny their love, is because there is none. A person can't deny something that was never there, nor can a person force something that was never there.
So let's take a look back at the reasons listed above:◆ Society frowns on polygamous, open relationships
◆ Women frown on polygamous, open relationships
◆ John Wayne Bobbitt's genitals were really severed(cut-off)
◆ Fear of commitment
◆ Incapable of trust
◆ Immature
◆ Never was in love
Those are all reason that are obvious, or at least they are to me, but I do understand that some people try so hard to create a committed, loving relationship that they don't see obvious signs in front of them. I hope this will help someone understand that the problem really isn't them. It's a matter of being able to love oneself regardless of what anyone else thinks or does!
The Holy Spirit-person sent by God or the power of God
For what it's worth, I will put my two-cents in. First, I will be cautious and admit that I do not possess the level of intelligence that will allow me to tell you the meaning of God's plans and actions. There are a lot of people who would do good by understanding they also do not possess that kind of intelligence, but unfortunately they are hindered by ignorance, hence the reason why you hear so many ludicrous and idiotic teachings by people who don't have a clue as to what they are talking about.
Anyways, I believe the Holy Spirit is sent by God to help His children live the abundant life that was given to them through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. I also believe the Holy Spirit is always present. It's our ability to receive the Holy Spirit that is not always there. For example, when I am close to my Father, through continual praise, worship, prayer and study of His Word, I can feel and witness the Holy Spirit moving. However, when I am gratifying my flesh, living according to what my flesh wants, whether it be illicit sex, drug use, or gluttonous behavior, I cannot sense the presence of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit hasn't left me in those times, I just can't sense Him because I am self-involved which blinds me to everything except what is pleasing to my flesh.
I want to exercise caution and care with my words because I don't want to contribute to the division of Christians by Christians. The body of Christ is often at odds with itself because people would rather share their opinions and interpretations of The Word instead of seeking God to work through them to share The Word with others. I have a great deal to learn but the Good News is, I have the Greatest teacher of ALL TIME!
How Does A Man Prevail In A Sexually Charged World?
How does a man prevail in a sexually charged world? Hmmm... good question. At the ripe old age of 44, I don't actually have an answer for that question. Up until very recently, I struggled with controlling my thoughts concerning the opposite sex. I used to "size-up" EVERY woman I saw and play a mini-porn in my head. Yes, I know, that is sad, but it actually occurred, until... I figured out that women don't view sex the same way men do.
As far as I can tell, men perceive sex from a physical standpoint, whereas women view sex from an emotional standpoint. Men consider sex "high" on the list of priorities and accomplishments, while women look at sex rather casually almost dismissively to the point of being non-existent. However, women are very aware of how men perceive sex, and they use that valuable information to their advantage. To be fair, there are men out there who also realize the power that women wield over men and they also use that information to manipulate other men, bastards(lol).
It's no secret that sex sells any and everything. You can turn the t.v. on at anytime of the day or night and see scantily clad women or topless, six-pack abs men posing for or hawking some trivial item for you the viewer to be interested in and buy. As a matter of fact, companies spend billions of dollars a year on ads to get you to buy their products and a majority of those ads involve a sexually charged theme whether it be subtle or in-your-face. One of the more aggressive companies, Victoria's Secret has a huge marketing campaign aimed at men, mailing catalogs to more men than women even though most of their products are made for women. Restaurants, automobile manufactures, beer brewers, swimming pool cleaners, shoe companies, health care providers, pharmaceutical companies, legal teams, clothing designers, music artists and list goes on, all utilize sex in the marketing of their services and products because it's been proven that sex=sales.
Inevitably it get's darker. For years the movie industry has been accused of and is guilty of using subliminal messaging as a way to promote sex and other agendas. There are many examples of phallic symbols and gestures drawn into children's cartoons. For some sick reason Disney seems to lead the industry in soft pornographic messages and drawings that are seen by millions of people. I saw a drawing of Mickey Mouse holding what appeared to be a penis and in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, his friend Patrick appears to be licking a penis. I digress.
This blog was originally conceived to address the constant bombardment of sexual images in todays society and how men are to address, and survive in a climate where sexual innuendo is rampant. Quite honestly, I don't like the fact that I have to deal with sex in some form everyday of my life. To say the least, it's very distracting, which is its intent. Hopefully, as I grow older and my libido continues to lessen, I will eventually be immune to the effects of sexual manipulation. Until then, who wants to go to Hooters?
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Freedom Of Speech In America Is A Pipe Dream
Way back in 1993 when I was a young man trying to find his way in this world, I owned a record label and managed groups. One of the groups, The Line, which was a combination of two groups, created a song called "Don't cross the Line!" This particular song dealt with the abuses that police inflicted upon members of the group, including wrongful imprisonment, beatings, harassment, and the list continues. Also in this song were lyrics describing the fictional shooting death of a Reno police officer:
"Pop(open)the trunk is what he(police) said but I wouldn't do it, I've got no keys to the lock so you can't get to it,"
"Plus, you've got no good reason to look through my shit, my name is on the papers(registration) and my car's legit"
"He just laughed though, like he heard a joke, reached into his coat and pulled a key(kilo) of coke"
"And said, "Ya, it's what you think, I'm 'bout to set you up, he put a cap(bullet) in my trunk and it opened up,"
"But what he saw he wasn't expecting, he just stood still, because my boy was in the trunk, I told him "SHOOT TO KILL!"
"POP,POP,POP, was the sound to his forehead, three more shots to the chest he's pronounced dead,"
"See cops they break the law, it happens all the time, but this is what happens WHEN THEY CROSS THE LINE!"
Pretty powerful lyrics written at a time when our country was seeing an extremely high rate of police brutality. Gangster rap music was a manifestation of the anger minority youths were experiencing from dealing with a justice system and society that was actively and purposely trying to exterminate them through violent tactics and by legal sanctions. This particular song caused some controversy in Reno, first, getting the attention of the police who then had the album pulled out of a privately owned record store, Mirabelli's. The owner either felt loyalty to the police department, or was pressured to remove the album. Either way, there was an active movement to shut this album down. However, it backfired and more copies were sold, BECAUSE OF THE POLICE ACTIONS. The owner of Recycled Records allowed me to place my album in his store because he felt our right to freedom of speech was being infringed upon. Police are such idiots. Their own fear and hate caused more copies to be sold than probably would've been had they not have brought any attention to the album.
There were repercussions though. After the smoke settled, I had detectives following my family and I for a period of time. I remember being arrested for disturbing the peace, which I was not, and police slamming me into the back of the squad car laughing and saying, "hey, you can write a song about this too!" Some of the other members of the group also experienced harassment which stemmed from the making of that album. I had trouble booking venues for any of my groups after that, which cut into my livelihood. The cost of freedom of speech was high.
At any rate, this was just a small example of what takes place around the entire nation were rogue groups of people with a little authority are allowed to suppress the rights and voices of those who have no authority. America was founded on a set of ideals and principles that were to allow people to pursue a life of freedom and happiness, but you've got to read the fine print at the bottom of the constitution:
You've got to be the right color!
"Pop(open)the trunk is what he(police) said but I wouldn't do it, I've got no keys to the lock so you can't get to it,"
"Plus, you've got no good reason to look through my shit, my name is on the papers(registration) and my car's legit"
"He just laughed though, like he heard a joke, reached into his coat and pulled a key(kilo) of coke"
"And said, "Ya, it's what you think, I'm 'bout to set you up, he put a cap(bullet) in my trunk and it opened up,"
"But what he saw he wasn't expecting, he just stood still, because my boy was in the trunk, I told him "SHOOT TO KILL!"
"POP,POP,POP, was the sound to his forehead, three more shots to the chest he's pronounced dead,"
"See cops they break the law, it happens all the time, but this is what happens WHEN THEY CROSS THE LINE!"
Pretty powerful lyrics written at a time when our country was seeing an extremely high rate of police brutality. Gangster rap music was a manifestation of the anger minority youths were experiencing from dealing with a justice system and society that was actively and purposely trying to exterminate them through violent tactics and by legal sanctions. This particular song caused some controversy in Reno, first, getting the attention of the police who then had the album pulled out of a privately owned record store, Mirabelli's. The owner either felt loyalty to the police department, or was pressured to remove the album. Either way, there was an active movement to shut this album down. However, it backfired and more copies were sold, BECAUSE OF THE POLICE ACTIONS. The owner of Recycled Records allowed me to place my album in his store because he felt our right to freedom of speech was being infringed upon. Police are such idiots. Their own fear and hate caused more copies to be sold than probably would've been had they not have brought any attention to the album.
There were repercussions though. After the smoke settled, I had detectives following my family and I for a period of time. I remember being arrested for disturbing the peace, which I was not, and police slamming me into the back of the squad car laughing and saying, "hey, you can write a song about this too!" Some of the other members of the group also experienced harassment which stemmed from the making of that album. I had trouble booking venues for any of my groups after that, which cut into my livelihood. The cost of freedom of speech was high.
At any rate, this was just a small example of what takes place around the entire nation were rogue groups of people with a little authority are allowed to suppress the rights and voices of those who have no authority. America was founded on a set of ideals and principles that were to allow people to pursue a life of freedom and happiness, but you've got to read the fine print at the bottom of the constitution:
You've got to be the right color!
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
You lyin' son-of-a-b*+@#
I can tolerate a lot of things, racism, stupidity, poor hygiene, fast talkers, slow thinkers and a few others that slip my mind at the moment, but one thing I can't tolerate is a liar. Lying has to be the most pathetic weakness a person could have.
Lying is deeply rooted in fear, and people that lie are trapped in bondage to fear, whether rational or not. A person who lies is afraid to deal with the immediate consequences from telling the truth. What liars don't realize is that the truth will ultimately set them free from the bondage of fear. Telling the truth is completely liberating, removing an incredible weight off of the conscious, removing fear and relieving stress.
Lying is an absolute destroyer of self and has the power to hurt others who are caught in its sticky web. I have been hurt deeply by lies because I don't understand why they are being told to me by people who would otherwise say they love me. When someone lies to me, I feel as though they are saying, "I don't respect you, I could care less about your feelings and basically you're a jerk!" Also, "you are stupid enough to believe the lies I'm telling you, so you don't deserve to hear the truth!" What really bothers me is, these people that lie are terrible at lying. This one person was so bad at lying to me, that I finally told them how to lie better because their lying techniques were pathetic. That still didn't help because they were far too ignorant to be able to comprehend what I was telling them. No shocker there because if they possessed even a hint of intelligence they wouldn't lower themselves to lying.
At any rate, I pity the people that are filled with fear and can't get out of that bondage. I pray they can receive enlightenment so they can have peace in their life. As for me, I'm trying to get a thicker skin. Actually, I received a revelation which gave me peace in dealing with liars and that revelation was: I don't have to trust anyone. I only need to trust God. If I truly trust Him, then I know he will not lead me astray. No weapon, including lying, shall prosper against me!
Monday, November 11, 2013
Got Ethics?
I was recently discussing ethics and its importance, and the conversation brought up some issues that have been plaguing me for awhile now. I am a huge advocate of adhering to a code of ethics because I believe ethics is the foundation necessary to be successful in anything you do. It is not possible to be productive or successful if you have not established and follow a set of standards that are consistent with professional conduct.
That being said, I unfortunately live in a world where few people actually know what ethics are and even fewer have any or subscribe to any. My dictionary defines ethics as: ethics |ˈeTHiks|
pluralnoun1 [ usu. treated as pl. ] moral principles that govern a person's or group's behavior: Judeo-Christian ethics.• the moral correctness of specified conduct: the ethics of euthanasia.2 [ usu. treated as sing. ] the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles.
This definition is fine and my interpretation of it is similar. To me, ethics really are "common sense" beliefs and actions that EVERYONE should naturally know or have been taught at an early age. I remember back in grade school being taught basic rights, wrongs and truths such as, "treat people the way you want to be treated," "don't lie, cheat or steal," "help others," "respect your elders," "be true to your word," and "love one another" to name a few. These basics have served as a foundation for how to carry oneself with honor and integrity in preparation for being successful and productive in society.
I know for a fact and have proven to myself, that having and following a set of ethics will guarantee success, reduce stress and loss, and increase productivity while positioning one to leadership, all the while separating oneself from those who lack ethics.
There is no way one can be considered professional if they lack ethics and this is where I have issues. I often deal with people who are in professional positions yet adhere to no ethics or are "burnt out" and no longer care about maintaining professionalism. For example, I have an instructor who is often late, sometimes not showing up at all, can very rarely answer any questions concerning his courses and carries himself in a lackadaisical manner which is uninspiring and detrimental to his students. I have no confidence in his abilities and loathe seeing his name appear on my schedule. He announces he grades on a rigid scale requiring submitted work to be of "high-quality" and industry standard, yet he doesn't teach in that manner. There's no way you can teach professionalism if you're not professional. I am frustrated and my flesh wants to handle the situation in a manner that is not conducive with professionalism. However, I will not allow ANY person to bring me down to a level that is less than what I am capable of carrying myself, and I will maintain my integrity and use the situation as a learning tool to advance myself. Ethics.
That being said, I unfortunately live in a world where few people actually know what ethics are and even fewer have any or subscribe to any. My dictionary defines ethics as: ethics |ˈeTHiks|
pluralnoun1 [ usu. treated as pl. ] moral principles that govern a person's or group's behavior: Judeo-Christian ethics.• the moral correctness of specified conduct: the ethics of euthanasia.2 [ usu. treated as sing. ] the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles.
This definition is fine and my interpretation of it is similar. To me, ethics really are "common sense" beliefs and actions that EVERYONE should naturally know or have been taught at an early age. I remember back in grade school being taught basic rights, wrongs and truths such as, "treat people the way you want to be treated," "don't lie, cheat or steal," "help others," "respect your elders," "be true to your word," and "love one another" to name a few. These basics have served as a foundation for how to carry oneself with honor and integrity in preparation for being successful and productive in society.
I know for a fact and have proven to myself, that having and following a set of ethics will guarantee success, reduce stress and loss, and increase productivity while positioning one to leadership, all the while separating oneself from those who lack ethics.
There is no way one can be considered professional if they lack ethics and this is where I have issues. I often deal with people who are in professional positions yet adhere to no ethics or are "burnt out" and no longer care about maintaining professionalism. For example, I have an instructor who is often late, sometimes not showing up at all, can very rarely answer any questions concerning his courses and carries himself in a lackadaisical manner which is uninspiring and detrimental to his students. I have no confidence in his abilities and loathe seeing his name appear on my schedule. He announces he grades on a rigid scale requiring submitted work to be of "high-quality" and industry standard, yet he doesn't teach in that manner. There's no way you can teach professionalism if you're not professional. I am frustrated and my flesh wants to handle the situation in a manner that is not conducive with professionalism. However, I will not allow ANY person to bring me down to a level that is less than what I am capable of carrying myself, and I will maintain my integrity and use the situation as a learning tool to advance myself. Ethics.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Short Film
Wow, I haven't been blogging in a bit. I will have to jump start my creative writing and get back into the swing of things. Anyways, I wanted to share a short film I just created which also happens to be my first short film. I created this for my final grade as a project that was assigned in my Film Production Techniques class. I really enjoyed the challenge of having to create a film by myself and having to do everything including writing the script, directing, producing, editing, and acting in. It was fun and has inspired me to consider shooting more projects.
I hope you enjoy this. I do appreciate any comments or feedback concerning this project. Thank you for watching! http://youtu.be/EIK7B4syvsE
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Last Black Man Draggin'!
I am past the point where I can watch another Black man dress up as a woman and act in comedic fashion, hence the reason why I am not a fan of Tyler Perry. When I first saw his Madea character I rolled my eyes and sighed heavily. "Please, not another Black man dressing up like a woman," is what I exclaimed, loudly.
My dislike for Black men in drag really started with Martin Lawrence's role as Big Mama. To me, it was a cheap rip-off from Eddie Murphy's successful depiction of an entire family in the Nutty Professor series which included the mother and grandmother roles. In my opinion, Eddie was brilliant in those roles.

Let's explore the phenomenon of Black men in feminine roles. I can only remember as far back as the early seventies, and since I am doing minimal research on this subject my memory and opinions will have to do. That being said, my first memories of Black men dressing up as women start with Flip Wilson and his character named Geraldine.
From what I recall, Geraldine was sassy with a lot of attitude and also flirtatious. Looking back on those episodes, Geraldine was always paired with big name stars like Bill Cosby, Muhammad Ali, and Tim Conway to name a few. Even though Geraldine was the comic relief in those skits it was his/her interactions with the stars that made the skits funny.
Next, I recall Martin Lawrence as "Sheneneh" on his own sitcom. Again, his interpretation was one of a woman with major attitude and sass who demanded attention. In this case, Sheneneh was the star and the role really relied on her outrageous behavior.
There was Arsenio Hall in Coming to America who portrayed a depraved, sex addicted woman who was willing to sleep with multiple men at the same time. I think it was funny because it came about totally unexpected, and the thought of him sleeping with himself is just hilarious.
On The Jamie Foxx show, Jamie played a woman named Wanda who was extremely ugly with strong sexual desires and attitude. I don't believe this portrayal worked because it had been done, with mixed reviews by Martin Lawrence.
There was Wesley Snipes actually playing a woman in drag in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, and Miguel Nunez as a basketball playing woman in Juwanna man.
Eddie Murphy portrayed multiple roles in Coming to America, none of them women, but I believe it was because of the success of his roles in that movie that he expanded to female roles in the Nutty Professor franchise, which by the way, were near genius.
So, why is the portrayal of Black women by Black men so successful and interesting? Well, in my opinion it's because of the importance Black women play in the life of their children. There is no stronger person in my life than my mother. My mother has been everything to me, strong, supportive, sensitive to my feelings, caring, giving, a disciplinarian, loving and the list goes on. I believe most men can relate to this but more so by Black men. More Black men are raised in single-parent households, led by their mother's, than any other race. Because of this, Black women often times play dual roles in the upbringing of their son's, having to be both the mother and the father. Obviously, a mom can't adequately fill the role of a man as a father to his son, and because of this inability to do so, mothers often exaggerate the guidance they give their son's. In a lot of cases, the mother will put their young son's in the role of the missing father, putting adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child. I digress.
Anyways, most Black men can easily tell you about the strong women in their lives and the memories from their childhood of their mother's, grandmother's, aunts and cousins. I always compare my mother to E.F. Hutton, because when she talks, EVERYBODY LISTENS! My mama didn't play when I was a kid and she don't play forty years later. I remember one time my mother told me to turn my music down. I turned it down a little thinking it was enough to satisfy her request when, out of nowhere, I see her foot crashing through my door, slamming it open, and yelling at me "turn that moth@fu%$#$ music down!" It's funny to recall that now, but when it actually happened it was one of the most terrifying things I had ever seen. What made it so scary was, my mom doesn't curse, so bringing her to that much rage was eye opening and extremely unsettling. My friend who was in the room with me, would not leave my house by going out the front door. He didn't want to walk past my mom to exit the house so he jumped out of my window.
I am certain you can stop any Black man and ask him to share a memory of his mother disciplining him and he will be able to give you many stories of his mother "snapping" and tearing his ass up.
Speaking for most Black men in general, we have a healthy respect for the women that raised us, which is why portraying them is funny. For one, the portrayal of a Black woman by a Black man is his interpretation of what he witnessed and experienced growing up. It is also a way to safely "make fun of mama" without getting your ass whooped. Plus, Black men know that the next Black man can relate to the role because more than likely their own mama's have acted in similar fashion at some point in their lives. Though most of those portrayals aren't very flattering, I believe they were all created out of the love a son has for his mother.
My dislike for Black men in drag really started with Martin Lawrence's role as Big Mama. To me, it was a cheap rip-off from Eddie Murphy's successful depiction of an entire family in the Nutty Professor series which included the mother and grandmother roles. In my opinion, Eddie was brilliant in those roles.

From what I recall, Geraldine was sassy with a lot of attitude and also flirtatious. Looking back on those episodes, Geraldine was always paired with big name stars like Bill Cosby, Muhammad Ali, and Tim Conway to name a few. Even though Geraldine was the comic relief in those skits it was his/her interactions with the stars that made the skits funny.
Next, I recall Martin Lawrence as "Sheneneh" on his own sitcom. Again, his interpretation was one of a woman with major attitude and sass who demanded attention. In this case, Sheneneh was the star and the role really relied on her outrageous behavior.
There was Arsenio Hall in Coming to America who portrayed a depraved, sex addicted woman who was willing to sleep with multiple men at the same time. I think it was funny because it came about totally unexpected, and the thought of him sleeping with himself is just hilarious.
On The Jamie Foxx show, Jamie played a woman named Wanda who was extremely ugly with strong sexual desires and attitude. I don't believe this portrayal worked because it had been done, with mixed reviews by Martin Lawrence.
There was Wesley Snipes actually playing a woman in drag in Too Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything, and Miguel Nunez as a basketball playing woman in Juwanna man.
Eddie Murphy portrayed multiple roles in Coming to America, none of them women, but I believe it was because of the success of his roles in that movie that he expanded to female roles in the Nutty Professor franchise, which by the way, were near genius.
So, why is the portrayal of Black women by Black men so successful and interesting? Well, in my opinion it's because of the importance Black women play in the life of their children. There is no stronger person in my life than my mother. My mother has been everything to me, strong, supportive, sensitive to my feelings, caring, giving, a disciplinarian, loving and the list goes on. I believe most men can relate to this but more so by Black men. More Black men are raised in single-parent households, led by their mother's, than any other race. Because of this, Black women often times play dual roles in the upbringing of their son's, having to be both the mother and the father. Obviously, a mom can't adequately fill the role of a man as a father to his son, and because of this inability to do so, mothers often exaggerate the guidance they give their son's. In a lot of cases, the mother will put their young son's in the role of the missing father, putting adult responsibilities on the shoulders of a child. I digress.
Anyways, most Black men can easily tell you about the strong women in their lives and the memories from their childhood of their mother's, grandmother's, aunts and cousins. I always compare my mother to E.F. Hutton, because when she talks, EVERYBODY LISTENS! My mama didn't play when I was a kid and she don't play forty years later. I remember one time my mother told me to turn my music down. I turned it down a little thinking it was enough to satisfy her request when, out of nowhere, I see her foot crashing through my door, slamming it open, and yelling at me "turn that moth@fu%$#$ music down!" It's funny to recall that now, but when it actually happened it was one of the most terrifying things I had ever seen. What made it so scary was, my mom doesn't curse, so bringing her to that much rage was eye opening and extremely unsettling. My friend who was in the room with me, would not leave my house by going out the front door. He didn't want to walk past my mom to exit the house so he jumped out of my window.
I am certain you can stop any Black man and ask him to share a memory of his mother disciplining him and he will be able to give you many stories of his mother "snapping" and tearing his ass up.
Speaking for most Black men in general, we have a healthy respect for the women that raised us, which is why portraying them is funny. For one, the portrayal of a Black woman by a Black man is his interpretation of what he witnessed and experienced growing up. It is also a way to safely "make fun of mama" without getting your ass whooped. Plus, Black men know that the next Black man can relate to the role because more than likely their own mama's have acted in similar fashion at some point in their lives. Though most of those portrayals aren't very flattering, I believe they were all created out of the love a son has for his mother.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Call Me Crazy!
Call me crazy, but I just cannot bring myself to spend money to go to a haunted house or to a movie theater to watch depraved, horrific acts. As far as haunted houses are concerned, it's that time of year where people(pagans) celebrate the macabre and morbid day of hallows eve.
First, let me state for the record that this is not a post bashing the goings on of Halloween celebrations. I used to trick-or-treat as a child and I have children who do so now. No, this post is about my unwillingness to spend hard-earned money to witness people dress up like demons and attempt to scare me or go to the movies and watch any number of films that depict demonic possession, murder, violence, depravity.
There are thousands of high-end haunted houses across the country that charge anywhere from $5 to $100 per person to enter. That in itself is a horror, and paying that should be a crime. I digress. My stance comes from the fact that I tithe money to my church and give money to the needy. How can I justify spending money on demon worshiping? Also, I have no fear of demons, so I would basically be giving my money away receiving no services.
I don't consider looking at grotesque images as being "fun!" Not even curious. You want to read a scary book, read The Bible. It's got some stories that will scare you straight like the seven sons of Sceva [Acts 19:13-16]. Them dudes tried to exorcise a "real" demon and ended up getting beat to within an inch of their lives!
Something else to consider is, demon possession shouldn't be taken lightly. It takes form very subtly, most times without a person realizing it is happening to them. I see a lot of possessed people everyday. I can tell by their words and actions they are possessed. At one point in time, I was possessed, caught in the bondage of drug addiction and doing all sorts of depraved acts. Do you know that I tried many, many programs and treatments to overcome addiction, but the only thing that worked was allowing The Holy Spirit to work in my life.
So, after spending many years doing what pagans do, I choose to recognize and stay away from foulness. Before I spend money on ANYTHING that remotely resembles satanism, I will give twice that amount toward something Good!
First, let me state for the record that this is not a post bashing the goings on of Halloween celebrations. I used to trick-or-treat as a child and I have children who do so now. No, this post is about my unwillingness to spend hard-earned money to witness people dress up like demons and attempt to scare me or go to the movies and watch any number of films that depict demonic possession, murder, violence, depravity.
There are thousands of high-end haunted houses across the country that charge anywhere from $5 to $100 per person to enter. That in itself is a horror, and paying that should be a crime. I digress. My stance comes from the fact that I tithe money to my church and give money to the needy. How can I justify spending money on demon worshiping? Also, I have no fear of demons, so I would basically be giving my money away receiving no services.
I don't consider looking at grotesque images as being "fun!" Not even curious. You want to read a scary book, read The Bible. It's got some stories that will scare you straight like the seven sons of Sceva [Acts 19:13-16]. Them dudes tried to exorcise a "real" demon and ended up getting beat to within an inch of their lives!
Something else to consider is, demon possession shouldn't be taken lightly. It takes form very subtly, most times without a person realizing it is happening to them. I see a lot of possessed people everyday. I can tell by their words and actions they are possessed. At one point in time, I was possessed, caught in the bondage of drug addiction and doing all sorts of depraved acts. Do you know that I tried many, many programs and treatments to overcome addiction, but the only thing that worked was allowing The Holy Spirit to work in my life.
So, after spending many years doing what pagans do, I choose to recognize and stay away from foulness. Before I spend money on ANYTHING that remotely resembles satanism, I will give twice that amount toward something Good!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Sobriety Tip #233 - Surround Yourself With Positive People!
This may sound like a no-brainer, but surrounding yourself with positive people is a must if you are going to be successful in your sobriety. The power of positive and negative is real. Constantly being around one or the other will be a difference maker in your recovery efforts.
One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with. I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with positive words. It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word. I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation. This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.
When working on sobriety, YOU come first. Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!
One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with. I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with positive words. It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word. I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation. This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.
When working on sobriety, YOU come first. Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)



































