Why do men deny their love for a woman?

     This question was posed to me by a person I suspect is trying to solve the age old mystery, "what the heck is the opposite sex thinking?"  I believe men will have a better chance of figuring out the proper formula through chemistry to create human blood than they will figuring out the inner workings of a woman.  That being said, women can EASILY figure out everything there is to know about a man because we are simple creatures.

     Back to the question at hand, Why do men deny their love for a woman?  I could speak for all men but I'm going to field this one with my own personal knowledge and experience.  First, denying my love for a woman has never occurred.  That in itself has posed some problems considering society frowns on people who are not in monogamous relationships.  Women also don't particularly like to know their man is not denying other women love while they are in a relationship with them.  Right there are two reasons why a man may deny his love for a woman.  Also, the John Wayne Bobbitt severing is still fresh in the minds of many men.

     Those were reasons from a man that is in a committed relationship.  What about men who are single?  What reasons could they possibly have for denying their love for a woman?  Right away I think of being afraid to make a commitment.  A lot of men just aren't ready for, or just don't want to commit themselves to, any long-term relationships.  Some men have been through painful experiences and can't quite trust that another relationship won't end up the same way.  Other men are just immature and would rather hang with their buddies and have the occasional, "no-strings-attached" booty call.  Another reason a man, or woman for that fact, may deny their love, is because there is none.  A person can't deny something that was never there, nor can a person force something that was never there.

     So let's take a look back at the reasons listed above:
◆  Society frowns on polygamous, open relationships
◆  Women frown on polygamous, open relationships
◆  John Wayne Bobbitt's genitals were really severed(cut-off)
◆  Fear of commitment
◆  Incapable of trust
◆  Immature
◆  Never was in love

Those are all reason that are obvious, or at least they are to me, but I do understand that some people try so hard to create a committed, loving relationship that they don't see obvious signs in front of them.  I hope this will help someone understand that the problem really isn't them.  It's a matter of being able to love oneself regardless of what anyone else thinks or does!

   

The Holy Spirit-person sent by God or the power of God

     I recently saw a discussion on FaceBook that asked the question, "How do you know you have the HolyGhost?"  What I found interesting about this conversation was the division in answers from numerous people.  Some said the Holy Spirit is present when you speak in tongues.  Others said the Holy Spirit is present with the manifestation of power.  Still others said the Holy Spirit is present at all times, while others said the Holy Spirit can be summoned by ones actions.  One thing is certain, people perceive everything in their own way.

     For what it's worth, I will put my two-cents in.  First, I will be cautious and admit that I do not possess the level of intelligence that will allow me to tell you the meaning of God's plans and actions.  There are a lot of people who would do good by understanding they also do not possess that kind of intelligence, but unfortunately they are hindered by ignorance, hence the reason why you hear so many ludicrous and idiotic teachings by people who don't have a clue as to what they are talking about.

     Anyways, I believe the Holy Spirit is sent by God to help His children live the abundant life that was given to them through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ.  I also believe the Holy Spirit is always present.  It's our ability to receive the Holy Spirit that is not always there.  For example, when I am close to my Father, through continual praise, worship, prayer and study of His Word, I can feel and witness the Holy Spirit moving.  However, when I am gratifying my flesh, living according to what my flesh wants, whether it be illicit sex, drug use, or gluttonous behavior, I cannot sense the presence of the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit hasn't left me in those times, I just can't sense Him because I am self-involved which blinds me to everything except what is pleasing to my flesh.

     I want to exercise caution and care with my words because I don't want to contribute to the division of Christians by Christians.  The body of Christ is often at odds with itself because people would rather share their opinions and interpretations of The Word instead of seeking God to work through them to share The Word with others.  I have a great deal to learn but the Good News is, I have the Greatest teacher of ALL TIME!

How Does A Man Prevail In A Sexually Charged World?

    

     How does a man prevail in a sexually charged world?  Hmmm... good question.  At the ripe old age of 44, I don't actually have an answer for that question.  Up until very recently, I struggled with controlling my thoughts concerning the opposite sex.  I used to "size-up" EVERY woman I saw and play a mini-porn in my head.  Yes, I know, that is sad, but it actually occurred, until...  I figured out that women don't view sex the same way men do.

     As far as I can tell, men perceive sex from a physical standpoint, whereas women view sex from an emotional standpoint.  Men consider sex "high" on the list of priorities and accomplishments, while women look at sex rather casually almost dismissively to the point of being non-existent.  However, women are very aware of how men perceive sex, and they use that valuable information to their advantage.  To be fair, there are men out there who also realize the power that women wield over men and they also use that information to manipulate other men, bastards(lol).

   

It's no secret that sex sells any and everything.  You can turn the t.v. on at anytime of the day or night and see scantily clad women or topless, six-pack abs men posing for or hawking some trivial item for you the viewer to be interested in and buy.  As a matter of fact, companies spend billions of dollars a year on ads to get you to buy their products and a majority of those ads involve a sexually charged theme whether it be subtle or in-your-face.  One of the more aggressive companies, Victoria's Secret has a huge marketing campaign aimed at men, mailing catalogs to more men than women even though most of their products are made for women.  Restaurants, automobile manufactures, beer brewers, swimming pool cleaners, shoe companies, health care providers, pharmaceutical companies, legal teams, clothing designers, music artists and list goes on, all utilize sex in the marketing of their services and products because it's been proven that sex=sales.

Inevitably it get's darker.  For years the movie industry has been accused of and is guilty of using subliminal messaging as a way to promote sex and other agendas.  There are many examples of phallic symbols and gestures drawn into children's cartoons.  For some sick reason Disney seems to lead the industry in soft pornographic messages and drawings that are seen by millions of people.  I saw a drawing of Mickey Mouse holding what appeared to be a penis and in an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, his friend Patrick appears to be licking a penis.  I digress.

This blog was originally conceived to address the constant bombardment of sexual images in todays society and how men are to address, and survive in a climate where sexual innuendo is rampant.  Quite honestly, I don't like the fact that I have to deal with sex in some form everyday of my life.  To say the least, it's very distracting, which is its intent.  Hopefully, as I grow older and my libido continues to lessen, I will eventually be immune to the effects of sexual manipulation.  Until then, who wants to go to Hooters?

Freedom Of Speech In America Is A Pipe Dream

     Way back in 1993 when I was a young man trying to find his way in this world, I owned a record label and managed groups.  One of the groups, The Line, which was a combination of two groups, created a song called "Don't cross the Line!"  This particular song dealt with the abuses that police inflicted upon members of the group, including wrongful imprisonment, beatings, harassment, and the list continues.  Also in this song were lyrics describing the fictional shooting death of a Reno police officer:
"Pop(open)the trunk is what he(police) said but I wouldn't do it, I've got no keys to the lock so you can't get to it,"
"Plus, you've got no good reason to look through my shit, my name is on the papers(registration) and my car's legit"
"He just laughed though, like he heard a joke, reached into his coat and pulled a key(kilo) of coke"
"And said, "Ya, it's what you think, I'm 'bout to set you up, he put a cap(bullet) in my trunk and it opened up,"
"But what he saw he wasn't expecting, he just stood still, because my boy was in the trunk, I told him "SHOOT TO KILL!"
"POP,POP,POP, was the sound to his forehead, three more shots to the chest he's pronounced dead,"
"See cops they break the law, it happens all the time, but this is what happens WHEN THEY CROSS THE LINE!"
     Pretty powerful lyrics written at a time when our country was seeing an extremely high rate of police brutality.  Gangster rap music was a manifestation of the anger minority youths were experiencing from dealing with a justice system and society that was actively and purposely trying to exterminate them through violent tactics and by legal sanctions.  This particular song caused some controversy in Reno, first, getting the attention of the police who then had the album pulled out of a privately owned record store, Mirabelli's.  The owner either felt loyalty to the police department, or was pressured to remove the album.  Either way, there was an active movement to shut this album down.  However, it backfired and more copies were sold, BECAUSE OF THE POLICE ACTIONS.  The owner of Recycled Records allowed me to place my album in his store because he felt our right to freedom of speech was being infringed upon.  Police are such idiots.  Their own fear and hate caused more copies to be sold than probably would've been had they not have brought any attention to the album.

     There were repercussions though.  After the smoke settled, I had detectives following my family and I for a period of time.  I remember being arrested for disturbing the peace, which I was not, and police slamming me into the back of the squad car laughing and saying, "hey, you can write a song about this too!"  Some of the other members of the group also experienced harassment which stemmed from the making of that album.  I had trouble booking venues for any of my groups after that, which cut into my livelihood.  The cost of freedom of speech was high.

     At any rate, this was just a small example of what takes place around the entire nation were rogue groups of people with a little authority are allowed to suppress the rights and voices of those who have no authority.  America was founded on a set of ideals and principles that were to allow people to pursue a life of freedom and happiness, but you've got to read the fine print at the bottom of the constitution:

                                                                                              

                                                                                             You've got to be the right color!

     

You lyin' son-of-a-b*+@#

   

I can tolerate a lot of things, racism, stupidity, poor hygiene, fast talkers, slow thinkers and a few others that slip my mind at the moment, but one thing I can't tolerate is a liar.  Lying has to be the most pathetic weakness a person could have.

     Lying is deeply rooted in fear, and people that lie are trapped in bondage to fear, whether rational or not.  A person who lies is afraid to deal with the immediate consequences from telling the truth.  What liars don't realize is that the truth will ultimately set them free from the bondage of fear. Telling the truth is completely liberating, removing an incredible weight off of the conscious, removing fear and relieving stress.

   

     Lying is an absolute destroyer of self and has the power to hurt others who are caught in its sticky web.  I have been hurt deeply by lies because I don't understand why they are being told to me by people who would otherwise say they love me.  When someone lies to me, I feel as though they are saying, "I don't respect you, I could care less about your feelings and basically you're a jerk!"  Also, "you are stupid enough to believe the lies I'm telling you, so you don't deserve to hear the truth!"  What really bothers me is, these people that lie are terrible at lying.  This one person was so bad at lying to me, that I finally told them how to lie better because their lying techniques were pathetic.  That still didn't help because they were far too ignorant to be able to comprehend what I was telling them.  No shocker there because if they possessed even a hint of intelligence they wouldn't lower themselves to lying.

     At any rate, I pity the people that are filled with fear and can't get out of that bondage.  I pray they can receive enlightenment so they can have peace in their life.  As for me, I'm trying to get a thicker skin.  Actually, I received a revelation which gave me peace in dealing with liars and that revelation was:  I don't have to trust anyone.  I only need to trust God.  If I truly trust Him, then I know he will not lead me astray.  No weapon, including lying, shall prosper against me!

Got Ethics?

I was recently discussing ethics and its importance, and the conversation brought up some issues that have been plaguing me for awhile now.  I am a huge advocate of adhering to a code of ethics because I believe ethics is the foundation necessary to be successful in anything you do.  It is not possible to be productive or successful if you have not established and follow a set of standards that are consistent with professional conduct.

That being said, I unfortunately live in a world where few people actually know what ethics are and even fewer have any or subscribe to any.  My dictionary defines ethics as: ethics |ˈeTHiks|
pluralnoun1 [ usu. treated as pl. ] moral principles that govern a person's or group's behavior: Judeo-Christian ethics.• the moral correctness of specified conduct: the ethics of euthanasia.2 [ usu. treated as sing. ] the branch of knowledge that deals with moral principles.
         This definition is fine and my interpretation of it is similar.  To me, ethics really are "common sense" beliefs and actions that EVERYONE should naturally know or have been taught at an early age.  I remember back in grade school being taught basic rights, wrongs and truths such as, "treat people the way you want to be treated," "don't lie, cheat or steal," "help others," "respect your elders," "be true to your word," and "love one another" to name a few.  These basics have served as a foundation for how to carry oneself with honor and integrity in preparation for being successful and productive in society.

          I know for a fact and have proven to myself, that having and following a set of ethics will guarantee success, reduce stress and loss, and increase productivity while positioning one to leadership, all the while separating oneself from those who lack ethics.
         

     There is no way one can be considered professional if they lack ethics and this is where I have issues. I often deal with people who are in professional positions yet adhere to no ethics or are "burnt out" and no longer care about maintaining professionalism.  For example, I have an instructor who is often late, sometimes not showing up at all, can very rarely answer any questions concerning his courses and carries himself in a lackadaisical manner which is uninspiring and detrimental to his students.  I have no confidence in his abilities and loathe seeing his name appear on my schedule.  He announces he grades on a rigid scale requiring submitted work to be of "high-quality" and industry standard, yet he doesn't teach in that manner.  There's no way you can teach professionalism if you're not professional.  I am frustrated and my flesh wants to handle the situation in a manner that is not conducive with professionalism.  However, I will not allow ANY person to bring me down to a level that is less than what I am capable of carrying myself, and I will maintain my integrity and use the situation as a learning tool to advance myself.  Ethics.