Sobriety Tip #233 - Surround Yourself With Positive People!

     This may sound like a no-brainer, but surrounding yourself with positive people is a must if you are going to be successful in your sobriety.  The power of positive and negative is real.  Constantly being around one or the other will be a difference maker in your recovery efforts.

     One of the many changes I made in my recovery was the people I associate with.  I am consistently around people who are positively motivated and who speak with  positive words.  It may sound a bit extreme, but I'm not around a lot of people who curse with every other word.  I avoid people who are always complaining or criticizing others and I don't entertain crude conversation.  This alone has improved my thought process and contributed to my two years of sobriety and me being happy overall.

     When working on sobriety, YOU come first.  Take care of your state of mind and stay positive!

Is Money What You Really Need?

     Did I ever tell you the story about the time a gentleman asked me for fifty cents?  Well, if I didn't, here goes.  I was walking from a class one day, that was located in a bad part of town, when a homeless looking gentleman asked me if I could spare fifty cents.  I was sad to tell him that I didn't have any money on me, but if I did, I would've have surely given it to him.  He thanked me anyways and continued walking.  I cut across the street, and continued to walk to my bus stop, but I kept hearing the words from Dr. Creflo Dollar saying that we can't claim to be blessed if we can't bless anyone.  It was at that point that I remembered that I had several five dollar money orders in my bag that were blank so I crossed back, against traffic, and ran to catch that gentleman who asked me for the fifty cents.  When I approached him I said, "I don't have any money, but I do have a blank money order for five dollars if you think that would help."  He accepted it, said thank you, and then said, "Hey, I know you've got another money order you can spare!"

     Now, this whole event started with him asking for fifty cents.  I gave him five dollars which was a five hundred percent increase of what he originally asked for.  When he asked me for another five, I politely told him I couldn't spare it, but he continued to badger me, so I declined and walked away.  As you can imagine, I walked away shaking my head in disbelief of what had just happened.  That dude had some nerve to ask for more after I gave him more than he originally asked for.

     Anyways, I've noticed that a lot of people have that same "take all you can get!" mentality.  It's sad because they don't realize there is more happiness in giving than in receiving.

     I've had a few situations like this occur, with the most recent from a lady who questioned my Christianity because I didn't give her money in a timely manner.  This woman claimed to need help because she only had a few dollars on her credit cards(red flag), and her vehicle was old and high maintenance(red flag) and she didn't have much food to eat.  She said if I wanted to help I could put money on her PayPal account(red flag).

     There are a lot of red flags in this situation.  For one, I've helped many people, with thousands of dollars, yet I have never met a person who had a PayPal account, credit cards and a vehicle, that needed help.  I'm sure there are plenty of people who want help but what they need is some counseling.  I've noticed many, many people living outside of their means.  You have got to prioritize what is important.  You can't buy an eight dollar pack of cigarettes, every day, but have no food in your refrigerator.  You can't make car payments on an eighty thousand dollar truck and live in an apartment receiving food stamps.  Prioritize!  Stop having a "me" attitude and quit being self-centered.  Think about others!  Look outside of yourself and you will find happiness!

No Matter How You Slice It, Guns Kill!

     I recently stated that I am neither for or against gun ownership, but after thinking about that statement I really have to admit that I am against guns, period.  I cannot justify the use of a gun for any reason.  I've heard arguments that guns are necessary to combat evil, and guns are necessary for protection etc., but I still can't wrap my mind around the fact that the majority of people that are killed with guns are innocent victims.

     I was watching a program on CNBC, which I can't recall the name of, that was showing that 90% of the guns seized in Mexico came from the U.S.  That's terrible on a couple of different levels.  The story went into detail about the murder rate in Mexico and it told of many innocent victims being gunned down by drug cartels.  One story that stuck in my mind, and inspired this blog, was the intentional shooting of a seven year old boy.  A cartel blew his brains out as he exited the vehicle his father was driving.  I have children, including an eight year old son and when I saw those pictures and the mother was devastated, I was nearly in tears.  It was senseless.

     Unfortunately, this thing plays out all the time, everyday, in the United States.  People are losing their lives to gun violence and yet many Americans will fight to the death to keep their right to bear arms.  I have no argument for this.  I don't need one.  I cannot/will not argue with people who can overlook senseless deaths due to gun violence, in order to support their freedom to bear arms.  You can argue 'til you're blue in the face for your right to bear arms but that won't change my value of life over liberties.  I'm not paralyzed with fear that I have to carry a gun to protect my family!

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

From The Desk Of Gary Mason

     Most of the strongest, amazing people I know have been through some kind of serious adversity whether it be surviving a health issue, or losing a loved one, or drug addiction or molestation or any number of other catastrophic events that occur everyday.  What separates these people from everyone else is their ability to persevere through the adversity.

     The ability to rise over adversity is no easy feat.  The proof of that statement can be found in the number of people who take their own lives because they couldn't go on any longer.  The most recent suicide rate that I could find listed suicides worldwide at 10.07 per 100,000 thousand people.  (curr)

     That is an alarming and sad statistic.  However, it's not surprising that many people are suffering in a world that caters to a humans worst nature.  Where violence plays out like a video game and people are still sold in slavery, albeit the sex trade, where girls as young as 8 have been reported to have been abused.  In many countries, guns are carried more often than books, and children know how to clean and load an AK-47 before they've had their first kiss.  Drugs saturate the entire world and more people are addicted to some kind of substance than there are facilities to treat them.

     So, without continuing on with these depressing realities, my original intention was to bring light to the people who have overcome their circumstances and are better for having gone through them.  These people need to be recognized for their perseverance and abilities to make a better life not just for themselves but for others by sharing their difficulties and encouraging others to move forward and past their problems.

     I am thankful to be one of these people and I applaud and appreciate everyone who has moved past their circumstances.  God bless you all!

"Current Worldwide Suicide Rate." ChartsBin. N.p., n.d. Web. 25 July 2012. <http://chartsbin.com/view/prm>.

Is The Fist Bump Necessary?

     O.k., it's already been established that I'm old.  Heck, I've got people tryin' to tell me I can't see properly and may need glasses.  I've got gray hairs growing in places that hair really shouldn't be growing from in the first place.  And last, I've got kids that are old enough to have kids, however I'm not ready to be a grandpa yet!

     Anyways, I'm at a loss over this "fist bump" phenomenon that seems to have swept the world.  I don't understand why, after I get done having a conversation with another man, that man feels the need to bump fists together.  What is the significance in that gesture?  Is it necessary?  If you're asking me, the answer is an absolute NO!  It's not necessary.

     I'm not a touchy type of guy.  I don't feel the need to hug people upon meeting them or bumping fist before leaving them.  I am accustomed to the standard, firm handshake, eye contact and brief greeting, but other than that, I don't want to touch anyone.  Maybe I have some kind of phobia.  Call me crazy but I think it's ridiculous and a bit childish to bump fists with another man after having a conversation.

     It's gotten to the point where I may have to fist bump the same guy several times within a relatively short period of time.  That's silly.  And it's not just amongst casual acquaintances.  I've also had instructors and other professionals extend their fists out to be bumped like we just scored a touchdown in the Superbowl. 

     I tell you, people watch too much television.  Leave the fist bumping to the pro athletes and those individuals with the jock mentality.  There's too much bromance and affection going on between men already.  When you see me on the street, a head nod will do or a "what's up bro?" but lets quit the fist bump already!

Is It Really That Hard To Throw Your Trash Away?

     Everyday I witness someone throwing trash on the ground like that's where it naturally belongs.  I see this happen all the time by people who I would otherwise consider to be intelligent and caring but when I see them litter I conclude that they are careless, insensitive, jerks.

     I know that may be harsh but I can't find any other way to describe them because there is NO plausible excuse for throwing ones trash on the ground.  Do you know that littering speaks volumes about your character?  It tells me that you are lazy, self-centered, lazy, uncaring about others, filthy, ignorant, lazy and just plain out lazy.  The crazy thing is, it isn't hard to throw trash into a receptacle.  It isn't rocket science.  You don't have to apply a formula to solve the problem.  I'm not even asking that you recycle, although it is an excellent idea.  All you have to do is care enough not to throw your crap on the ground.

An actual park where I picked up trash

     I think if you are caught littering, everyone should be able to come to your house and dump their trash on your property.  On second thought, I don't know how effective that would be because people that litter more than likely have trashy homes anyways so it wouldn't make much difference if more trash were added.

    I apologize for sounding so critical of litterers, I just really don't appreciate people who are so inconsiderate that they would throw their trash around like the planet is theirs.  Again, littering speaks volumes about your character.  Actions speak louder than words.  What is it that you are saying with your actions?

Nobody Can Drive Like I Do!

     I came to this conclusion many years back, but I have been recently reminded of this fact as I am often a passenger in other peoples cars.  I tell you, nobody can drive worth a darn anymore.  Wait a minute, I take that back, my dad, father-in-law and mother-in-law can all drive decently, but other than that, everyone else is terrible.

     It probably doesn't help that I've been in six accidents over the years.  Four of those weren't my fault and two of those four I wasn't even driving.  The last accident I was in wasn't my fault technically.  The other driver failed to yield while making a left turn and I plowed into him, at 35 m.p.h which effectively tore the front end off of my car and caused minor injuries to me and my passengers.  The other driver was cited for failing to yield but I was arrested for driving under the influence.  I know what you're thinking and you're right, I was an idiot for drinking and driving.  Since that accident, I haven't driven anymore and that happened in 2002.

     So, from that accident, I have been traumatized by driving, in particular, other peoples driving.  It is VERY difficult to be a passenger in other peoples cars.  I often wish there was a "brake" on the passenger side because I would be using that thing all the time.  When I am a passenger in other peoples cars I notice ALL of their bad habits, even habits that don't have anything to do with driving.  Seriously though, if you're driving and I'm a passenger in your vehicle, here's a few tips that I'd really appreciate you follow while we are together.

1.  PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD - don't look at me, your cell-phone, your cigarette or anything else while your driving.
2.  WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN...GO! - again, don't look at me while you are stopped at a light and have a conversation.
3.  PAY ATTENTION TO TRAFFIC - if your turning into another lane, pay attention to oncoming traffic.  If there is a "gap" a mile wide, go ahead and make the turn, DON'T JUST SIT THERE AND TALK TO ME AND THEN WAIT UNTIL THERE IS ONLY TEN FEET BETWEEN YOU AND THE NEXT CAR AND THEN DECIDE TO PULL OUT!
4.  JUST DRIVE - shut up and just drive.  We don't always have to talk.  Just get us to our destination!